Volume 4, Chapter 70 [What Comes After Hell]
――What on earth was he watching?
{――――}
Expelling ear-splitting shrieks, Emilia was crying Subaru’s name.
Subaru’s body was leaning limply against the bed, its wide-open eyes devoid of life.
Well, naturally. With its throat pierced by a dagger, and with that much lost blood, it couldn’t possibly be alive.
It’s not every day that you’d get a chance to look down at your own corpse.
It was a twisted sensation, as if he had detached from his dead body as a ghost and was being made to watch the spectacle that followed.
Even if the majority of that feeling was false, the fundamental part was not.
――What Subaru was being forced to watch was unmistakably the scene after his death.
{――――}
The room’s furnishings, the people present here, and the wretched figure of his dead self.
Putting these together, Subaru realized precisely what he was being shown here.
It was the result of his thoughtless act after defeating the Sin Archbishop, Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti, and saving Emilia, when he first learned of the loss of Rem.
Having felled the White Whale, repelled Sloth, and saved Emilia and the Arlam Villagers, Subaru was at the height of joy when he was sent plummeting to the pit of the abyss upon learning that Rem was lost.
He had raced the carriage all the way to the Capital――where he found the sleeping Rem in Crusch Karsten’s Mansion, and, once he confirmed that her consciousness was gone and no one could remember her, Subaru immediately committed suicide by stabbing a knife through his own throat.
It was almost a reflex, without a single moment of deeper consideration.
He had merely done it to reject the scene before his eyes, to ask Return by Death for a chance to retry the past and retrieve what had been lost.
――But, this rash deed came to no success, and the place he returned to after his suicide was immediately before he stabbed his neck, after already having reunited with the sleeping Rem.
Return by Death’s savepoint had been updated.
Its merciless timing had stolen away Subaru’s only means of retrieving Rem, and once again plunged him into the depths of the abyss.
It was after that, when he sealed his resolve and made his oath to restore her and to somehow keep standing up to now, but――
{Subaru: It’s not… my fault…… This… it’s not my fault. I didn’t know…… I’ve never seen any of this}
He had never seen this scene before.
Well of course. Subaru was already dead in this world.
Though he had the means to return after losing his life, he never knew what happened to those worlds after he died. Or rather, there was no way for him to know.
But still, it was not until this moment that he had even considered it.
Experiencing his own death, rewinding the world, then proceeding along a different path to bypass the dead-end, the world in which he died gave him no information beyond “How” he died, and served as nothing more than a transit point.
Judging these worlds to be mere checkpoints towards his ultimate, desired future, and having decided to make full use of Return by Death, he had regarded even this present world as no more than a waypoint.
But now――that was crumbling.
{Subaru: Stop. Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop it please stop!}
Rejecting the scene before his eyes, Subaru shrieked a voiceless shriek.
But, without a throat to raise a sound, no eyes to avert his gaze, and no ears he could cover, the world went on engraving its outcome into Subaru’s consciousness.
――As punishment for the careless deed he committed.
[???: Emilia-sama, what――!]
Overhearing Emilia’s wails, a new character stepped into the horrendous scene.
An old man, wearing a brand new butler’s outfit over his muscular body, carried by strides that gave no indication of his injuries――it was Wilhelm.
Skidding into the room, the old man unwittingly fell silent at the sight before him.
――So even the Sword Demon Wilhelm could make such a dumbfounded face.
Subaru was hit with that out-of-place thought as he saw Wilhelm’s face head-on.
That was just how far Wilhelm’s expression deviated from the usual, unable to hide his shock at the sight of Subaru’s corpse.
[Wilhelm: What in the world has…… no, now’s not…… Subaru-dono!]
But Wilhelm’s bewilderment only lasted an instant.
Shaking his head to promptly suppress his bafflement, he rushed to the collapsed Subaru’s side. Emilia continued clinging to the lifeless body, oblivious to Wilhelm’s approach.
[Emilia: Subaru…… Subaru you…… liar…… you said th… we’ll be together……]
[Wilhelm: Emilia-sama, I beg your forgiveness――!]
While Emilia condemned Subaru’s betrayal like a curse, Wilhelm pushed her aside to reach the corpse. Without any strength to support her own body, she fell to the floor, but Wilhelm immediately turned from his momentary attention towards Emilia back to resuscitating Subaru, who was still soaking in the fresh, profuse pool of his own blood.
[Wilhelm: ――――]
His expression grave, Wilhelm took off his jacket and used it to cover Subaru’s throat as he unhesitatingly drew out the dagger. Blood sprayed out, staining Wilhelm’s perilous visage, but without even blinking, he immediately plugged the wound.
The bleeding stopped, while Wilhelm pumped on Subaru’s unbeating chest, attempting to revive his heart.
[Wilhelm: Ferris! Felix! Come quickly!! Emergency! Hurry!!]
Aiming his shout outside the room, Wilhelm applied pressure to Subaru’s wound as he continued the resuscitation effort. However, the volume of lost blood was far too great. His limbs and face were drained of color, and anyone could see that Natsuki Subaru’s soul was no longer present.
But still, Wilhelm had no intention to give up.
[Ferris: Old Wil’, what’re you yelling ab――hk!]
[Wilhelm: Felix, quickly! The blade’s punctured his throat! There’s not a second to lose!]
[Ferris: ――――!]
Rushing up at the call, Ferris immediately nodded at Wilhelm’s command, cloaking his hands in a blue, undulating aura as he sent healing magic into Subaru’s fallen body.
Gazing down on his own soul-departed corpse, Subaru saw a seriousness on Ferris’ always easy-going face that he had never seen before.
{Subaru: That’s…enough……it’s useless. It won’t work. You can’t save him anymore……}
Anything they do would be pointless now.
In Subaru’s memories, there was nothing about being saved after this attempted suicide.
Natsuki Subaru had impulsively plunged a knife into his own throat in rejection of reality, leaving irreparable wounds in the hearts of those around him, while he himself disappeared without feeling the slightest pang on his conscience.
Those were the facts. Those two’s desperate efforts would come to nothing.
[Wilhelm: You mustn’t die! I absolutely won’t let you die! If I lost my benefactor in this way, I could not live with the shame……!]
[Ferris: Why did he have to pull this stupid stunt now……tch]
Wilhelm shouted, pressing on the wound, and Ferris muttered this agitated complaint while casting the gentlest magic in this world.
This scene, and the ripples of their emotions, went on striking at Subaru’s heart.
But despite their hopeless efforts――
[Ferris ――――]
[Wilhelm: Felix! Why!? Why have you stopped healing!? If this goes on……]
[Ferris: It’s over, old Wil’. ――His soul isn’t here anymore]
Wilhelm closed in, but Ferris pushed him away. Removing the Sword Demon’s jacket, he took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped off Subaru’s wound. The gash had been perfectly closed, and it was impossible to tell that it had been a fatal injury. Subaru’s body had been restored to the same state as several minutes ago.
Except, neither the volumes of spilt blood nor his departed soul remained.
Looking down at Subaru’s pale, lifeless face with the wound wiped away, Wilhelm shook his head,
[Wilhelm: Why…… why did you do this! Why would you… so lightly…… Subaru-dono, you were……!]
His fist struck the floor with the sound of a hard crack.
Blood mixed into the fractured floorboard as Wilhelm’s fist was cut along with it. His knuckles dripping with blood, Wilhelm bit into his lips as if enduring unbearable regret.
Directly opposite the clearly emotional Wilhelm, Ferris only looked down at Subaru with a pained expression. His cat-ears drooped as he gazed at Subaru’s unpeaceful expression,
[Ferris: ……Weakling, coward. You just abandoned everyone important to you……pushed all the pain and all the suffering onto everyone else…… are you satisfied nyow?]
It was too severe to be mocking, and too kind to be a condemnation.
The complexities of the emotions hidden in Ferris’ voice was too far beyond what Subaru’s frozen thoughts could comprehend.
But it was clear from Wilhelm and Ferris’ reactions,
――That Subaru had done something irreversible to them both.
[Emilia: ――――]
His thoughts completely stopped.
What was he seeing right now?
He knew. He already knew what he was being made to see.
He was being forced to bear witness to his own sins.
[Wilhelm: ――Emilia-sama?]
Wilhelm suddenly called her name.
The astonishment in his voice was because Emilia had suddenly stopped crying, and her collapsed body was no longer trembling.
Noticing this change, a touch of pain scraped across Wilhelm’s expression. The loss he had just tasted, how much more strongly must it have struck Emilia? This expression was simply because he realized this.
The old man firmly closed his eyes, and stood up.
Then, he walked over to the fallen Emilia, and extended his hand to help her up.
[Wilhelm: I must apologize for my actions, Emilia-sama. But it would be harmful to your health to remain like this. Please, take care to……]
[Emilia: ――he told me]
[Wilhelm: Emilia-sama?]
[Emilia: Even though he told me he loved me……!]
Lying sideways on the floor, hugging her knees, Emilia curled into a ball and screamed.
“You’re being like a child”, there was no one here who could chide her for that. Wilhelm furrowed his brows as if enduring his pain, and even Ferris turned away, unable to bear watching Emilia’s grief.
[Ferris: Eh?]
Baffled, Ferris’s eyes and mouth opened wide as a dumb noise escaped his throat.
As if guided by that voice, Wilhelm followed Ferris’ gaze, and was stunned.
[Wilhelm: ――――]
――Before their eyes, Subaru’s supposedly-deceased body sat up.
{Subaru: ――――!?}
Faced with this incomprehensible sight, even Subaru’s consciousness was aghast.
The risen body stretched out its limbs with the choppy movement of a mechanical doll as it stood up with its head tilted ninety-degrees sideways, its eyes slowly opening.
Its unfocused gaze, its gleamless eyes, leered over the room.
[Wilhelm: feli……]
[Ferris: Impossible! His body was definitely dead! The resuscitation failed!]
Wilhelm called to Ferris as if clinging to the last strand of hope, but Ferris cut him off, shouting back his thoughts.
Hearing this, Wilhelm immediately decided on his next action.
That is――
[Wilhelm: Subaru-dono, forgive me――!]
Even the lack of a sword caused no detriment to the Sword Demon’s skill.
Wilhelm crouched down to pick up the jacket that was discarded on the floor, twisting it up along with Subaru’s blood, and used his entire body to lunge it forward like a lance.
Riding on its speed and the added weight of the blood, its tip pierced through the air as a spear of cloth. With what might be called the Cloth-Spear technique, Wilhelm preemptively struck at the rising Subaru.
His aim was true, and the point of his jacket seemed about to pierce straight into Subaru’s face――
[Wilhelm: ――n!]
――When a cascade of shadows surged up from Subaru’s feet and swallowed the pointed cloth whole, nullifying Wilhelm’s attack.
Sighting the shadow that appeared without warning, Wilhelm instantly drew back his arm―― but could not completely avoid the damage. Three fingers on his right hand were severed at the joints, taken along with the jacket.
Flying backwards, dripping with blood, Wilhelm clicked his tongue as he kept his distance from the now standing Subaru.
[Wilhelm: Felix! Take Emilia-sama away from here, now! I will try to delay it!]
[Ferris: Don’t even have a sword…… all I’ve got is a dyagger!]
Rolling into a corner of the room, Ferris tossed the dagger at his hips to Wilhelm. Catching it in his left hand, Wilhelm drew it from its sheath with a turn of his wrist and muttered [Feels off with short weapons],
[Wilhelm: Get out of the Mansion, follow Crusch-sama’s instructions――no, that won’t work now. Felix, use your own judgement. Bring the Knights here]
[Felix: Won’t it be a bit hard on your own, old Wil’?]
[Wilhelm: It’s something on the level of the White Whale, or even…… what in the world has been living inside Subaru-dono……]
Measuring his opponent’s strength, Wilhelm held his breath as beads of sweat emerged on his skin.
In front of the wary Sword Demon, Subaru’s arms remained dangling at his sides as his gaze swept aimlessly to and fro while his upper body swayed side to side.
It was without rational thought. And perhaps, it wasn’t even conscious.
The question was that despite being in this state, did it have enough awareness to defend itself?
Warily, Wilhelm went on glaring at the transformed Subaru.
Meanwhile, watching all of this, Subaru’s consciousness was caught in a storm of question marks.
The situation had clearly changed from what it was before.
Being forced to witness his sin while his heart was torn and shattered, Subaru was now watching the absurd progression of the world after his death.
What the hell was this supposed to be?
Could it have really happened? If not, then what was it supposed to mean? Why was his consciousness here, now?
He couldn’t understand any of it. None of it made any sense at all, but――
[Wilhelm: Felix! Take Emilia-sama――!]
[Ferris: I got it already! Emilia-sama, come with……!?]
Answering Wilhelm’s urgings for him hurry, Ferris crossed the room and roughly pulled up the fallen Emilia. But a tremor instantly shook Ferris’ expression.
The reason, was,
[???: ――You dare make Lia cry]
Birthing a white haze, a small figure descended on the center of the room.
With grey fur, and a tail as long as its body, despite being of the size that could fit in one’s hand, the pressure it exerted could easily make one mistake it for some great, ferocious beast.
Making his long-overdue appearance, the tiny Great Spirit floated in the center of the room, gazing down on Subaru. On his expression was unfathomable severity, and his words were rife with contempt.
[Puck: As accomplice to the crimes of that body’s owner, you are deserving of ten thousand deaths―― Witch]
The narrow room was flooded with cold, murderous intent. Exhaling white breaths, Wilhelm’s face stiffened as he watched Puck turn that intent into icy spearheads.
[Wilhelm: Spirit…… unless, Emilia-sama’s…]
[Puck: Lia is unconscious right now. In accordance with the contract, I will act on my own judgment. The Witch shall not be forgiven. I shall protect Lia. ――As for the one who made Lia cry, I shall not forgive this man]
[Wilhelm: Wait! Fighting here now will only――]
[Puck: The oath is broken, and my Lia’s heart is frozen. ――Now, it’s time I bring it to an end]
Ignoring Wilhelm’s protests, Puck’s cold intent was steadily rising.
White mist filled the room, all was starting to freeze, marking the beginning of the deaths of all things. In a world where even breaths would be frozen, Puck’s hostility was directed at Subaru alone.
That Subaru’s head tilted upwards, looking at Puck for the first time.
Its void, blank eyes gazed at the floating Puck, when suddenly, its eyelids twitched.
Then,
[Puck: ――――]
It snickered.
Subaru’s corpse twisted its face, and snickered at the sight of Puck.
Full of malice, contorted beyond recognition, a mocking grin.
{Subaru: ――――sto}
Watching this unfold, Subaru’s consciousness called for it stop before the destined catastrophe.
But his call reached nothing.
Puck raised his little paw, and when he brought it down, it birthed a small glacier inside the room, its absolute zero threatening to consume Subaru’s corpse. Shadows surged up from below to beat back the attack, as a maelstrom of mana ravaged the narrow room, sweeping Wilhelm and Ferris into its nexus before exploding―― to screams and wails from frozen, tearing voices, as the world-ending white and blackness of despair intermingled before Subaru’s eyes, burying everything.
{Subaru:――――!!}
Abruptly, like the power had been cut, the world lost all color.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
[Subaru: ――――Pffu]
The pain of his face smashing into the ground prompted Subaru’s consciousness to wake.
His jaw crashing against the damp floor, Subaru’s eyes teared up at the stinging pain as he shook his head.
And, immediately lifting his face, he quickly scanned over his surroundings. ――Nothing was off.
[Subaru: I-I’m… inside the Tomb……]
Cold air and dark space, the dampness of the floor and the scent of mold and decay―― he was definitely inside the Tomb.
Having confirmed this, Subaru opened and closed his hands to check that there was nothing wrong with his limbs. His ragged breathing began to settle, as he exhaled a deep breath from his lungs to force himself to calm.
But the tremors of his very organs refused to be chased away.
[Subaru: A daydream…… that’d be too much of a coincidence. But, otherwise……]
What the hell was that?
After being forced to witness that spectacle, Subaru began to assess the situation he had been placed in.
First of all, without a doubt, that was “A Scene After Subaru’s Death”.
Emilia’s shrieks at the sight of Subaru’s corpse, Wilhelm and Ferris’ desperate attempts to save him―― and the final, nightmarish clash at the end.
The first part carved scarring gashes into his heart, while the second part plunged his soul into incomprehensible, uncontrollable bewilderment.
[Subaru: Uu, ghu――]
The moment he remembered it, Subaru bent over, holding the wrenching pain in his waist while the expelled-contents of his stomach splashed onto the floor.
It would be called vomit, but he hadn’t really eaten dinner. All that came out was yellow bile and some tea he had drunk an hour earlier.
He could only repeat this vomiting motion to constrict his stomach in answer to his body’s demands.
It was while repeating this, over and over, that Subaru began to realize the circumstances of his situation.
Inside the Tomb, if he was not summoned to Echidona’s Dream Citadel, then there was only one other place his detached consciousness could have been taken.
[Subaru: Unless… that was a Trial? ……Not the past… but the second one……!?]
No longer the first Trial, where he had to face his past, the second Trial had begun.
Noticing this possibility, Subaru stood there, stupefied.
Indeed, to Subaru, it had been several days since he passed the first Trial. But that only applied to his soul, while for this body and for this world, it had only been several hours. In other words, he shouldn’t have met the requirements for the next stage of the Trials.
If the Trial had started regardless, then it could only be an irregularity. And more importantly, according to Echidona,
[Subaru: She said it wouldn’t be as painful as the Trial to face my past……]
――If what Subaru saw really was a part of the Trial, then even in scratching the surface, he already felt like he was facing the worst possible continuation.
That scene, to Subaru, went even further than Hell.
Subaru had seen Hell many times before. He was aware of that.
If it meant reaching for the best possible future, then he was prepared to witness as many Hells as necessary.
――But, to go deeper than Hell, to know of a world even worse than Hell, was…
{Witness, a present that was not to be}
[Subaru: ――――Wh!?]
In the face of that terrifying experience, at a loss as to stay or to retreat, Subaru heard a whisper scraping across his ear.
Just as his body tensed from the shock―― the sensation of his consciousness slipping once again came visiting.
Bracing the fall with his arms, but unable to support himself, he collapsed shoulder-first onto the floor.
He tried lifting his face in an effort to stay conscious, but neither his eyelids nor his neck could resist that invisible force as he was instantly dragged into the depths of the abyss.
――The Trial, the deepest pit of Hell, once again welcomed Subaru.
{――――}
When he opened his eyes, Subaru found himself on a field of grass, at the scene where Julius’ sword had cut open his throat―― as he was forced to bear witness to his sins once more.
-=Chapter 70 End=-
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