"Are you still sad?"
A soft voice sounded next to me, causing me to wake up from my momentary stupor, turning my head to my mother, who is looking at me with concern.
"No, I'm very happy"
I shook my head in denial, as a smile formed on my face.
"Then why does my prince look so sad?"
"I... nothing, I'm just hungry"
I whispered after a few seconds of thinking, I just didn't want to worry mom, she already has a lot to deal with, a son with unknown problems is not something she wants to add to her plate.
"Oh, give me a minute and I'll cook them eggs"
Smiled Mom, quickly getting out of bed to head for the makeshift kitchen.
"Family..."
I mumbled inaudibly, as I looked at my mom's back with beautiful feelings inside.
Who knew it felt so good to have one?
What will become of my old mother?
I honestly never pondered it so thoroughly, as I always thought I didn't need them...
But now as I experience their warmth, it makes me feel bad to remember those who should be my family in the other world.
Why did they abandon me?
Did something happen to them?
They just didn't love me?
Why don't I know anything about them?
Although I remember my whole other life, I have no memory of before the orphanage.
Why is that?
My oldest memory starts at the age of 4.
But why don't I have any memories since I was a baby?
In this life, I remember practically everything, except the time I was inside mom.
I even think that time I was asleep all the time, so I have nothing to remember.
But in my previous life, it is all very strange, I remember practically nothing from before I was 4 years old as if in that time I was asleep all the time.
At least that is the only logical explanation I can give to this case since it is very difficult for me to doubt my current memory, with which I can even remember voices perfectly.
So the question is...
What is the reason for the lack of memories?
Wait...
Why am I forgetting the most important thing?
Why did I reincarnate?
How did I reincarnate?
Who am I?
Christian or John?
My memories...
Your memories...
I'm not clear...
Sometimes I think I was always Christian, but many times I think I am John.
I thought it didn't matter, but now I realize that I feel very uncomfortable having a lack of identity.
Are these feelings I have about my current family mine?
Or do they belong to Christian?
These doubts I have about my family... do they come from John or are they mine?
Why did I put aside the issue of my reincarnation again?
What brought me into this world?
A god?
An ogre?
A fairy?
The damned lucifer?
"Let's eat!"
A shout was heard from beside me, causing me to quickly turn my gaze, finding in front of me, a plate of rice with a fried egg on it, causing my stomach to manifest.
"Who cares about those annoying things, food is more important"
I whisper with a smile, quickly taking the plate in my hands, as I sit on the bed.
"To all this..." I whisper with a frown, as I take the toilets next to me, then turn my gaze to my mother and ask "Where's my older sister?"
"She is... What time is it" Mom replied with confusion, she stretched out her hand to hold the cell phone next to me "It's already 9... she should have been here long ago..."
"Maybe she stayed longer with her friends..." I replied after thinking for a few seconds.
I honestly don't see the problem with being late, but I understand that my thoughts are somewhat... liberal. Due to my lack of rules, I could practically arrive at any time I wanted inside the orphanage, as long as I arrive and not be absent for more than a day, and at the same time not get caught, all good.
Although I usually had to jump out the window, since they locked the doors and I ended up staying outside.
"No, she knows I don't allow her to stay out that late" Mom replied with a frown, as she dialed an unknown number on her cell phone.
*Crash*
But just as I was about to press the button to call out, a loud noise caught our attention, causing us both to turn our gaze to Alan, who was staring at the floor in panic as his plate of food lay on the floor and broken.
"Alan!" Mom exclaimed with concern, quickly getting out of bed to run to my brother "Are you okay!?"
"M-my food..." Whispered Alan, looking at the food lying on the floor with tears in his eyes, as mom takes his hands, checking him thoroughly for any cuts or wounds.
"*Sigh* Never mind, there's plenty of food left" Mom sighed after confirming Alan was okay, then getting up and grabbing his plate of food from the other bed "Eat this one, for now, I'll help myself to another plate after I finish cleaning up"
"Mn!"
Nodded Alan quickly, quickly taking the plate, then lying down next to Hailie and going back to watching TV, as if nothing had happened.
...
"It sucks having to sweep rice off the floor..." Eva muttered as she helped herself to some rice, making sure to leave enough for two more plates.
It took her more than 10 minutes to finish sweeping everything, she practically got bored halfway through and picked up the rice with her hand, since she simply couldn't with the broom, the rice was stuck on the floor, tearing more than one grunt of frustration from the poor woman.
Having finished serving herself, Eva just looked at the two remaining eggs and sighed, then turned and lay down next to Christian, who hadn't touched his plate of food one bit.
"Is something wrong? Didn't you like the food?" Eva asked doubtfully.
"Yes I like it, I was just waiting for you"
"What a polite prince" Eva smiled warmly, as she began to eat.
"Here..." Christian whispered, taking half of his egg then quickly carrying it towards Eva's plate.
"Why are you giving it to me?"
"I'm not very hungry"
"You have to eat or you'll stay small forever" Eva replied, taking the egg to try to return it to her son's plate.
"I like being small" Christian replied, quickly pulling his mother's hand down.
"..." Eva stood watching Christian for a few seconds with a serious look on her face, as he continued to eat in a carefree manner, then smiled softly and ate.
"And tell me... Have you thought about what you want to do when you grow up?" Eva asked nonchalantly, as she looked sideways at the boy next to her.
"..." Christian froze as he heard that question, as his mind became fuzzy as he questioned something so important 'What do I want to be when I grow up? With my intelligence I could be anything I want... besides, even though I haven't confirmed if I have better physical abilities like the legends, I do know that if I start early, I could be a great athlete'
'But we need money fast... mom is carrying everything alone, I can't afford to go to a university... although I could also appeal to a scholarship... no, that would just be gambling, a lot of time and little chance... music? It would be easy to adapt music from my old world to this one, but I don't have a computer or anything to start recording, besides, I need to be a teenager to start without any problems... Although I could also play piano or some other instrument... in my previous life I learned to play piano, keyboard, guitar, bass, electric guitar, drums and guqin, practically that took me to the fame inside the music, since I knew how to arrange or to modify in a better way the songs of almost all the artists... I even remember almost all the great compositions from my other world... although I don't know if they exist in this one either, I guess I'll investigate later...'
The more Christian thought, the more he frowned, realizing that there aren't many things he could do at this age, at least things that would generate quick money for him, since, with money, he could do endless jobs online that would help him with whatever he wanted.
'What do I do? Lots of possibilities, little budget, but the most important thing is time... I don't want mom to be overburdened by her jobs... if I tell her I want to go to a university, she'll most likely raise money or take out another loan... the worst thing is that I'd only make money in like 18 more years...' Holding his hands to his head, Christian went into an existential crisis, working his brain at maximum capacity to find a solution 'Quick money, no problems because of my age, ask for very little budget... Hehe, I should have read those typical 'Get Rich' or 'Millionaire Mentality' books... books...'
"Books!" Christian exclaimed excitedly, as he recalled the many books he read out of boredom, all of the Best Sellers of the literary world, turning quickly to his mother, Christian replies with a big smile "I'll write books!"
"Huh?" replied Eva foolishly, looking at her son with impressed eyes 'I asked him about his future to confirm one of my doubts, but... I never expected a coherent or serious answer... but he... you could see the confusion on his face when I asked him... Did he really decide in 30 seconds something as serious as writing books? to what extent is he a child...'
Eva is not that stupid, she realized that Christian gave her part of his egg when he saw that she didn't have any, but she didn't know what if it was because he simply wanted to share or something much more incredible for her, that her son understood that there was no more for everyone. After all, if it was the latter, her son is much more than a person with perfect memory, something she honestly doesn't understand.
"Books, why books, wouldn't you like something else, like going to the moon or being president?"
"Why would I want to be president?" Christian replied quizzically.
"I don't know...all kids want to be president"
"Where did you see that?"
"In a TV report"
"..." Christian looked at her with a bored expression, wondering internally what kind of channels or reports she is dedicated to watching "I'm not interested in being president, politicians bore me, but going to the moon sounds interesting... but it would be a waste of time, I would only step on a place full of stone and darkness, it's not something I would like to do for the rest of my life... instead writing books is something simple, I can do it from home, I don't need great studies, but the best thing is that it generates a lot of money"
"..." Eva didn't answer, she just kept staring at her little son's face, while little by little his face became painful, causing Christian to panic.
"B-but if you don't like the idea, I can try something else!" Spoke Christian quickly, as he looked at his mother's face with eyes reddened with sadness 'It hurts so much to see that face on mom...'
"My little boy..." Eva whispered sadly, putting the plate aside, she hugged Christian gently, as her mind became chaotic and pessimistic 'I suck as a mother... my little boy is only 9 years old and he already thinks about money... it's all my fault..... if I hadn't left home... my little boy could go on with his childhood... no worries, no pain... I'm so... useless'
"I don't know what you're thinking mom... but I don't like seeing you with that look" Christian whispered with distress, looking straight into his mother's eyes "But if it really bothers you that I wanted to write books, I won't... just don't be sad ok?"
"..." Eva's expression froze for a moment, as her gaze lingered on her son's clear, pure eyes, easily observing the concern in them, causing her to quickly change her sad expression to a smiling one "What are you saying, I'm not sad, I'm just impressed that you want to write books"
"Oh... I understand" Christian replied, as his brow furrowed at the sudden feeling of disgust that came to his stomach.
"But... Are you sure you want to write books? Because if you're interested in something else, I'll support you in anything else you want" Eva smiled, as she fiddled with Christian's hair.
"Yes... I think it would be entertaining to write some story, for now, maybe in the future I'll think what to do, I still have a lot of time" Christian answered absentmindedly while focusing all his attention on the discomfort he feels right now 'What the fuck is this?'
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