Chapter 74
M-Milady?
A-Are you alright?
Do I look like I am?
Even just lying down while enduring the pain was difficult. The moment she returned to her room, with Donnas help, Carynne lay down on her bed and pressed down on the urge to let out all the tears and curse words. She wouldnt be able to sleep on her back. Shed have to lie down face first like this the whole time.
Donna was trembling as she removed Carynnes clothes over her back. The blood-soaked fabric had stuck to her torn skin, and just the sensation of removing the clothes was horrifying. However, if the dress was left as it was, then scabs would be formed over the cloth, and it would be impossible to remove later.
Carynne bit down on a pillowcase to suppress her pained groans. Donna continued to sob even though she wasnt the one who got whipped. However, Carynne was bothered even by Donnas sympathetic tears.
Oh God.. This, just
How is it?
Hiic, hiic
Did you not hear me? I just asked you how it is.
Carynne wanted to snap at her, but in this reality, she had to endure even her own anger. She had to be kind. Be a kind female lead. Be a kind master. Be kind
Kind?
Why should I?
Why was she still shackled by the novels characterization of her when she had already killed people? Carynne wanted to act wickedly. But at the same time, she knew that she had to restrain herself here. Even if she kicked up a fuss now, theres nothing for her to gain.
Her situation right now was the product of an action she herself chose, and it would only be unseemly for her to whine about it. She could only blame herself. She was annoyed by this, and that annoyance made her even more annoyed.
Anger and annoyance were two different things. One of them was an irrepressible emotion that would eat away at a person.
Oh my god, the blood
Huuk
At around the time of dawn, when the sun had already risen, light of a blue hue enveloped the room. It was a gloomy daybreak.
If people start dying in the midst of a riot.
Perhaps, as the world becomes engulfed with chaos, thats when she can be at peace.
Ah!
It hurts, it hurts, I want to die, stop, fuck!
As disinfectant was applied to her skin, her mind went blank. Carynne clenched her teeth. Her fatigued melancholy was flung away as pain made its presence known. When Donna applied the disinfectant, it was almost a convulsion when her body flinched.
A-Are you alright, Milady?
Do I look like Im okay?
Even if she won during that card game, she would have still been whipped. Back then, Carynne used to play cards on Isellas behalf. But she was hit only twice during that time. Verdic had never hit her this hard.
Perhaps hed become twisted after his daughter got bedridden. The wounds she sustained from the whip were worse than ever. And apparently, its not just that.
What is it?
Donna asked nervously when one of Verdics maids showed up. The maid conveyed her masters message with an expressionless face.
Ive come to deliver a message. After you change your clothes, you must go to Lady Isellas room.
At those words, Donnas expression crumpled.
Just look at Milady right now. Are you seriously telling her to work?
How could you speak like that towards your superior. But those words wouldnt really match the situation.
Carynne buried her face into a pillow. And inevitably let out a groan. She really, truly hated this time of the year.
She was expecting that shed be able to live more comfortably since she took up the position of Isella, but then all she had been saddled with was more work. She let out a groan, then she sighed deeply.
Even when Carynne was lying on her stomach like this, she listened to the maids words. What she was saying now were just the usual words. Nothing had changed.
It is the Masters order.
Ill do it instead of Milady.
If theres a difference this time, then that was Donna. Should Carynne feel touched? Among the maids shes had all this time, Donna was by far the most good-natured one. She was gentle and kind-hearted, and because she was so normal, perhaps that made her more peculiar. Maybe its because she never had Donna so close to her before in her life.
If Carynne looked at the girl more closely, there was a hint of darkness in her eyes, and there was a rotten surface lying deep below. Still, the girl had yet to reveal that side of her. Just to match her outward nature, Donna still felt story for Carynne.
However, as expected, Carynne didnt feel touched. But she was fascinated. Before Donna, Sera also felt sorry for Carynne, though she wasnt as vocal about it. In the end though, they were both just powerless maids. Donnas sympathy would not be of any help to Carynne.
The other maid answered mechanically.
It is Lady Carynnes job.
No, but, just Just look at her state
Donna pointed towards Carynne. Her back looked quite literally like a rag. Verdic gave her ten lashings.
Lady Carynne should be in Lady Isellas room within ten minutes.
How could she work when her back looks like a rag? Cant you see how she shouldnt nurse someone else when she herself needs to be taken care of?
The pale skin of her back was marred with angry red lines. She knew that the scars shed get from these wouldnt disappear until she died and would come back to life. Before getting whipped, she had wanted to try on a backless dress, but that was impossible now, at least until shed come back to life.
Ive already said it. It is the Masters order.
Please dont be like this Turn a blind eye just this once, please. Ill definitely pay you back later.
If only that was possible. However, Carynne knew that there was only one choice here.
Donna. Its my job, I have to do it.
Carynnes voice cracked. Even if she didnt want it to.
Im fine.
* * *
Honestly, how could I possibly be fine?
Carynne was now inside the room of the sleeping Isella. She arrived a little earlier than usual, thats why the room was still dark.
Has Raymond found the corpse by now? Carynne was still curious about that. Would he bring her a present? If he would, then that at least would comfort her in this situation.
To be honest, youre in a much better state than me. All you have to do is close your eyes and sleep. Nothing to hurt you, nothing to torment you.
After some time, everything will start once again, and you wouldnt know it.
Carynne could feel blood still trickling down her back. She was tearing up just from the pain of it. Donna had disinfected her open wounds clumsily and bandaged it as though she wanted to make Carynne look like a mummy. However, the pain did not go away.
Isella. You know, I hate your father.
Even more so than I hate you.
Its impossible for her to be fine. Theres no way any person could get used to torture. Nobody would be able to get used to a whip that would strike at you so quickly. With your skin being ripped apart, its a lie that you can immerse yourself in your own thoughts. Its all an illusion.
It was impossible to endure when faced with a whip. It was impossible not to beg. When the fifth lashing came, Carynne started screaming. Spare me, please. I was wrong, please forgive me. And yet, the whip did not stop. The only things she could withstand were the things she had already overcome.
Why must I be in pain?
Unbridled anger shot up. Why did she have to keep doing this over and over again? Why? Its impossible to let this go. Its impossible to be fine. The only reason her anger towards Verdic was watered down to this extent was because there were many other people who had once killed her. He wasnt the only one, so she could still look at him in the face.
If you die, Mister Verdic will be inconsolable.
Carynne held the pair of scissors that she had kept hidden.
She wondered, why did Verdic make her Isellas attendant. Did he even know what she could do to this girl. Or did he think that she wouldnt aim to do something like this. Even now, if she were to do anything less than perfect while taking care of Isella, she would have been heavily reproached.
But after all those lashings, did he truly believe that shed continue to put up with this?
Tak.
The IV tube connected to Isellas hand was cut. Carynne stared at the dripping liquid that was soaking the bed. Then, she stared at Isellas neck. Even as the situation had progressed to this, even as a sharp pair of scissors was being pointed at her neck, she continued to stay blissfully unconscious, her chest going up and down at the same pace without fail.
Would Isella stay unconscious if Carynne stabbed her neck right now? Or would she wake up screaming?
Carynne raised the pair of scissors. If she were to stab Isella here, then she would be out of the picture. Once shes gone from the narrative, what will happen?
Carynne asked.
Do you love Miss Isella?
Sir Raymond.
She asked the man who had grabbed her wrist.
This time, yet again, Carynnes attempt ended in failure.
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