Chapter 367 Goals And Ambitions
"What do you mean?"
Thard - Harl drew a frown on his face. He had not expected that this young and arrogant player was going to refuse even though he asked.
Raith's eyes stayed on the ground, a few seconds of silence lay still between the two suspending what is to come with the ropes of what is now.
Finally Raith broke the silence, his head down.
"I don't know if I deserve anything… I don't know anymore… I -I don't know if I should continue this struggle…"
Raith looked up at Thard - Harl. His eyes were torn with sorrow, broken… as if they had been staring all along into the flames that burnt their loved ones – tears streamed down from his redden eyes.
He clenched his chest. It was hard to breath. Incredibly hard.
The frown on Thard - Harl's face slowly relaxed. This was unexpected. In all his prediction of Raith's response, he never thought of this one.
What had the young lad gone through for him to be suddenly broken? How much has he being holding inside while letting out a vibrant and heroic smile?
'I guess it was too much for even someone of his age. Fel did not have it easy too'
From his memories, there were several times Fel would stay behind locked doors and cry before causing the deaths of thousands as intended by the abyss. Not once, not twice.
Thard - Harl sighed and looked towards the horizon to his left.
'What have you made me done Fel?'
A drop of sweat ran down his face as he looked back at Raith who cried like a baby, his shoulders shuddering and tears falling on the stone like drizzingly rain on a small blessed rock.
Thard - Harl furled and unfurled his hand several times, torn between stretching them or speaking words. Perhaps he should just wait for the young lad to finish crying? He didn't know what to do.
And so he stood there in awkward silence while Raith cried his heart out.
A few moments later…
"Hey…" He awkwardly uttered as he saw that Raith's sobbing was reaching a falling rhythm.
Raith still sobbing softly, innocently turned his face to the asura.
"I am usually not good with this… I don't know the things you've been through. Your loses and wins. But I will pose a question here to you lad. This fight, this war of worlds… it may be everyone's war and yet not yours."
His gaze got intense, burning away the awkwardness that loomed over it before. He stared sternly at Raith.
"Why do you fight? Why do you keep going despite the lapses? Someone you want to protect? Something you want to accomplish? Or are you just going with the flow."
Raith was silent. Was it that he didn't have an answer or just couldn't because of the state he was- Thard - Harl didn't know… but anyways, he didn't ask to get an answer. He was driving at something. And so he continued.
"If you don't have a goal, a drive. You will he tossed to and fro by the waves of the war that is to come. What is your story? What do you want to get from all of this? If you don't have something as that, you will continue to fall short. You will suffer so much caught up in people's battles…"
Thard used his hand gestures as he spoke.
"That is how simple the rules of the universe works. Purpose and ambition is the drive of power. Whether you want to obtain it or you have it… if there is no purpose and ambition, power becomes a useless tool at the hands of a fool. Worst… it could cause ridiculous carnage."
He ended with a deep lines of sobriety carved by his knitted brows.
"What is your purpose? What is your ambition?"
Raith's eyes at this point had already ceased of letting tears flow. Although they grew distant as he dove into his thoughts.
What had he been fighting for?
Even after loosing the abyss, he was at peace, he could have stayed home? Was it greed? There were hundreds of other ways to fulfill his greed without endangering his life.
Was it Fel's request?
It'd be futile to think about it, Raith was sure he never did anything for Fel's request to defeat the abyss. If he had wanted to do it solely because of Fel, what was in it for him? Was the benefit not supposed to determine what length he would go to in the order of fulfillment.
Raith frowned. It was hard to tell? At some time he lost something…
'...I was supposed to spend a few months to get stronger and go back to save Volmak. But I kept getting swept around with other activities.'
It was almost as if the cause of saving Volmak grew distant and unimportant to him. Was that it? Was that where he lost it?
"You don't have to rush it. Retracing your steps is something you will do steadily as you spend your time with me. Come follow me."
Thard - Harl turned his back on Raith and walked away.
He staggeredly stood up and hurried towards the asura, holding his crippled hand with the other as he trudged with unsteady legs that were just recovering from the cramps of bending for quite the while.
At first, no matter how far they walked, the terrain and scene was almost the same. In fact, Raith was almost beginning to think they were walking in circles. But just then he saw a straw hut nestled atop a hill.
Calling it a hill was too much, it just happened to be several stones that had been segmented together over time as such formed a larger one battered by strong anvils of time and forged into a hill of some sort.
Although that did not change the grayness of the landscape.
Raith looked at the straw hut. He turned his head to the back and also around him, shooting glances to as far as they could go.
'...hell…. This is going to be hell.'
His definition of hell at this point was the fact that he would have to get used to seeing the awfully bland scenery everytime. Boredom was bound to sink into the deep sea of his soul.
He worried if he was going to be okay.
'I hope my skin don't grow pale and lifeless like his.'
He kissed his gaze on the back of the asura as they neared the hill.
Could the land have a part in Thard - Harl's pale purple skin…?
'Well, the other asuras I fought weren't exactly normal.'
He ran through his memory in the few minutes of them walking up the hill. When the reached the top, Thard - Harl turned back, bringing him back to the now.
"We are here…"
He said and looked at Raith, his expression were sort of expectant.
Raith drew a little frown. Unsure.
'... what does he want me to say?'
"Okay?"
"How's it?"
"How's what?"
Thard - Harl smiled.
"Where you will be living."
Raith looked beyond Thard - Harl. He was asserting the hut to see whether there is something else he missed - seeing as Thard - Harl was asking for a remark. Then he belatedly realised the way his statement went.
"Wait. What do you mean you"
"Yes you"
Thard repeated, smiling.
His smile was beginning to get edgy for Raith. They were irritating. A scowl creased on brows.
"What do you mean? Is this not supposed to be your place?"
"No way!"
Thard - Harl rose a short laughter, gesturing his hand at Raith in an helpless manner.
"No no… I built this place for you quickly so you'd be able to settle there while you train."
It was getting all the more confusing.
"That is what I'm saying. Why can't I stay where you are staying?"
Raith uttered with his heterochromia eyes unsparingly on the asura.
"No. That can't happen. I don't really enjoy the company of others. I put your place in the northern end of this plane, mine is on the eastern end. It will take you more than ten years to walk or run to the eastern end from the northern end"
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