203 The Aftermath
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Everything had crumbled apart in an instant in front of my eyes, my parents and Aquarina’s parents all were planning to leave but Ninhursag appeared, she said she heard everything and then...
And then... things went badly. She started discussing with everyone, more and more intensively and louder, getting angry to the point she started to insult everyone, she even called my mother with a slur, that really hurt me more than she thought! How can she call my race of elves as “knife ears”? That’s... I never thought she would say such a thing to us.
It seems she had a lot of resentment saved up, a lot of anger and also... in her eyes, I was able to see her sorrow, so much sadness... it felt as if my entire heart was melting away by just looking at her.
Why was she showing such weakness? Masking it all through insults and angered roars, but deep down, it felt as if she was slowly fragmenting into pieces, filled with hate and resentment over everything.
What had happened... It just felt unfair to all of us, but also... I feel bad for Ninhursag.
I couldn’t help btu pity her...
“H-How could Nin said such things?” cried Aquarina. “Why did she acted like that...”
“T-This... Ninhursag...” muttered Zack, clenching his fists.
.....
My parents remained in silence for a bit, and so did Aquarina’s parents.
The sky was already all clouded since morning, and suddenly, it began to rain.
The water began to cover the dirt outside, and the sound of the rain seemed to make things even worse, as if the world itself was showing how our emotions felt as of now.
Haven’t we gotten enough mockery? Why must the sky laugh at us now?
Sigh...
Ninhursag...
I kind of understand part of how she felt. Apparently, her tribe was here to protect the jungle and also the god’s artifact, it has been he entire tribe’s work and duty since the moment they were brought here somehow... perhaps since they were created.
And they also all died protecting such a legacy, their entire race, until the very last one, her.
It seems that it was the same for many other tribes of humans and even beast-kin.
It was their duty to protect this place, and they never thought about leaving everything to save themselves, giving away their lives, and everything...
I guess deep down, Ninhursag might feel bad because they ended sacrificing everything for this goal which she sees as something that must be done even if we all... die.
Her thought process is certainly twisted by tragedy and how her family saw how things were. We all have different points of views of all things in the world, and we always will think differently, no matter how similar the thoughts might be, things might always be different in certain areas, we are all different, and certainly, we cannot match one another... sometimes.
And therefore... even now, I cannot completely understand some of her thoughts, and parts of he is reasoning, but there are also other parts I understand... such as sacrifice.
The sacrifice we do for a greater good, for the better of something. it might be for a person, or it might be for something, a legacy, something we must protect with our lives, something that defines our very beings.
Since she was born that she was probably told that her duty and perhaps even the reason of her life was to protect this forest, that this was her duty... the duty that she should never run away, and a duty that she would one day have to sacrifice her life for.
It is indeed painful how much I can agree with such thought process, even though now that I think about it deeply, I feel like it is certainly flawed in some areas...
I gave up my life for my beloved mother and sister so they could escape by taking down as many bandits as possible, but I did it for my family, not for the legacy of a forgotten item left by a bunch of irresponsible good-for-nothing gods.
Perhaps he knows that this item is really not worth the life of so many innocents, but deep down, she sees that it was worth the life of her family, and that might be enough to warp her perception of what’s right or wrong.
She perhaps just wants to die here too, because this is where her family all perished...
She wants to fight like they did, until the very last breath, like she did against the armies of goblins...
She couldn’t possibly accept that we were running away, even less when my parents and Aquarina’s parents are supposed to be the heroes that saved the world from the powerful demon king... it feels like everything was wrong, why would such brave heroes not stand at her side and fight to protect this place? Why wouldn’t the brave amazon tribe, a tribe of warriors and hunters not fight at her side like all those other tribes did with her family?
Why won’t they give away their last breath so they can protect this legacy, the reason of their life, their duty...? Why won’t they?
Well... it is obvious, Ninhursag... It is because people is not all the same as you... everyone has different values, this tribe probably grew farther away from these other more extremist tribes that thought of their reason to live of protecting this forest.
And therefore, their values are different. Their value their children lives more, their value their mother’s lives, their husbands, their wives, their grandparents, their uncles... like every living being, they want to live.
It is something very impressive and admirable to give up your life for those you love... but give it up for an ancient item that only contains enormous power? it might be dangerous, it might be many things... but... it is not worth it.
My parents and Aquarina’s parents, the heroes, understood that.
They didn’t wanted to prioritize these stupid things anymore, and now, they wanted to save the people instead of fulfilling the wishes of the gods.
Are they in the wrong?
...
Are they?
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