Chapter 759 Guiying's confession (2)
Zixin breathed in the faint sweet scent in the air that the fluttering cherry blossoms emanated as they danced in the wind. His gaze traveled down across where the beautiful petals gently rained down in Guiying. A few of them perched themselves on top of her head.
Zixin stared at her mesmerizing figure which never failed to steal his heart beats like always.
"Your answer…?"
Guiying tremblingly nodded her head and took a small step forward. Then she took another step until she stood shoulder to shoulder with him.
She raised her head, willingly getting sucked into those precious black orbs that always only held stillness and warmth for her.
"Yes. My answer," she whispered. "My answer to your confession. I know I made you wait for a long time. I…I had a lot of things to consider. I didn't have the confidence to stand beside you. You always sparkled and shone so brightly. But I always held myself in a dark and miserable spot wherever I went. But I managed to break through from that vicious cycle. I am at a place where I don't condemn myself. And that's why, I can say it with confidence tonight…that I love you, Zixin."
Her lips tremored as she said those last few words with a heart that pounded like an earthquake shattering her. Despite being well aware that Zixin returned her feelings, the three magical words were a long journey of their own that had finally come to her lips facing lots of trials and tribulations. Her cheeks turned deep shades of red as her answer to his confession made her knees go weak.
But on the other side, Zixin froze.
Everything else became silent and secondary and only Guiying's sweet and melodic words chimed in his ears. He felt like he stepped into a trance where everything was an illusion he didn't want to ever disappear. He wished he could hear them over and over again. He wished he could pull her in his arms and inhale her scent and say how much he loved her too. He wished he could her like he would never let go of her.
But he couldn't relish the moment for long as the bitter reality set in. The harsh truth of 'Guiying's' true feelings for him seeped into his heart, making him aware of his boundaries.
Zixin clenched his fist ashamed of himself. "I cannot…You…you don't know how much hearing your answer makes me happy. I have been patiently waiting all this time and right now, I could dance in utter joy. But 'she' feels differently a-and I have hurt 'her.' I cannot forgive myself for it. I never want to force myself on either of you, yet I stepped out of my boundaries-"
Warmth enveloped his cheeks as a pair of soft and dainty hands held them. "You are wrong, Zixin. 'She' doesn't feel any differently for you."
Guiying spoke in a low hushed voice, desperate to get him heard of the truth.
"It isn't what you are thinking it to be. 'Guiying' really didn't mean what 'she' said-"
Suddenly Guiying's head slightly swirled in dizziness and she held her temple. Zixin noticed her swaying and his eyes widened.
"Guiying!"
He held her firmly and patted her cheeks. "Guiying? Guiying, what happened? Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?"
A few moments later, Guiying stabilized and she looked up as if she had stepped into a trance. The trance wasn't her, but 'Guiying' who appeared before Zixin.
Zixin felt 'her' gaze and blinked as he recognized 'her.' "It's 'you…'"
He instinctively lowered his gaze, unable to face 'her' after what had happened.
"Don't look like that, Zixin," 'Guiying' smiled. "That sad and downhearted gaze doesn't suit your handsome face. You look ugly."
He trembled, unable to speak. He wanted to apologize to 'her,' but nothing would escape his lips.
Seeing how torn apart Zixin looked, 'Guiying' shook her head. 'She' looked up at the cherry blossom tree. "It's a beautiful tree, isn't it?"
'She' didn't hear a response but knew that he was listening.
"A bunch of cherry petals was what Guiying gave me as a gift. When I appeared for the first time saving her from her bastard brother's violence, this is what she gave me. I felt she was so stupid. I was like why is she gifting herself? Do people really gift themselves? I didn't know. I still don't know. But she was clear that she was giving those petals to me, not herself. Me specifically because I was different from her. She couldn't fight her brother. But I could and I did. That's what made us different and in effect, different people for her. We were two people in the same body."
'Guiying' caught a floating cherry blossom petal in her hand. "Two people, two habits, two lifestyles, two sets of likes and dislikes. Very complicated, right? There weren't many things or people that we mutually loved."
Zixin sucked in a mouthful of breath, knowing where 'she' was going with this. Guiying confessed her answer as yes. But 'Guiying' was going to reject him. He strongly felt so in his heart. He wanted to shut his ears and spare himself from the heartbreak, but he knew that would be unfair and disrespectful to 'Guiying.'
'She' continued. "But that changed ever since you stepped into our lives. At first through the letters as MrPerfect and then in flesh. I always scolded her so much for falling for you. You were just an anonymous person for me sending a bunch of fan letters. How could she love someone when she doesn't know who that person really is? You could be MrPerfect in the letters but a monster in real life for all I knew. But I must say the idiot has good instincts.
She wasn't crazy or stupid in believing you. She is a writer. She understands words better than anybody. She understands the feelings behind every stroke of the ink. She read your letters and overtime, very rationally and practically, formed an opinion that you were a genuine person. She chose to trust and love you despite never meeting you."
'Guiying' released a small breath. "But I didn't."
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