717 The unexpressed (2)
Not just Zhan Yahui's own gifts to Guiying, she noticed how her birthday gifts to Zhan Yahui were neatly placed around the house too. Considering her real nature, Guiying thought that she, who didn't see Guiying more as a tool for her plans, must have discarded her gifts long ago. But Guiying's different gifts were scattered throughout the place as if saying that they were cherished.
Guiying held the musical figurine piece close to her chest, imagining what Zhan Yahui's expression would have been like when she bought it for her.
"This is all for you," Zixin mentioned in a soft voice.
"Yes…Can I take them with me?" She asked with a tinge of doubt in her voice. She really wondered if it was okay to take them.
He smiled. "These are her gifts for you. I believe she wanted you to have them."
"But she never gave them to me."
"Maybe she didn't know how to."
Guiying found sense in his words. Maybe Zhan Yahui's world was so painted in black that she couldn't find the joy of doing these little things or even if she did, didn't know how to express it.
She slightly pressed her brows together at Zixin. "How come you seem to understand her better than me?"
Zixin beamed. "Are you jealous?"
She coughed back a choke. "N-Not in a way that you are thinking. It's just that I have spent time with her as my editor, but there was so much I didn't know about her. Or maybe I didn't take any effort to understand her."
"There is something else she has left for you too."
She blinked. "Apart from these gifts?"
"Yes."
"But I didn't find anything else for me."
Zixin's lips curved into a warm smile. "You don't have to find it. You are already standing in it. The gift is all around you."
She pursed her lips. "I don't understand this puzzle."
He showed her a file and said, "These are this house's papers. Zhan Yahui has made you the owner of this property in the event something happened to her."
Guiying gave him a blank look. "Huh?"
"You can read the document. I thought this house would be important to you because this was where she lived. So I wanted to know what was going to happen to it. Through her lawyer, I came to know that she has named this property after you. So if anything happens to her, you get the house."
It was getting harder and harder for her to remain steady and find her voice. She looked around the room and outside and still couldn't wrap her head around it. She took the file and read her name as the one receiving the house.
"Wh-Why would she do so much for me…? I was just a writer. I don't know if…" tears brimmed her eyes, "if we were even friends or not…"
Zixin's eyelashes slightly trembled. "Her lawyer didn't have much idea either. I asked her if Zhan Yahui said anything to explain her decision. But she said nothing. Her simple decision was to hand the house over to you. But I can make a guess. I don't know if I am right or if that is what she thought. I think she wanted you to have this house simply as YOUR house. Away from Cai Lingyun maybe."
Guiying trembled, her eyes slowly widening.
"The apartment where you lived until now actually belonged to your brother. He could come and go whenever he wanted. Maybe that's why she wanted you to have a place where he wouldn't have the right. Also…" he stared into Guiying's misty eyes, but his thoughts were occupied by Zhan Yahui. "She approached her lawyer for this after the incident at your place where he slapped you and abused you. Because of which he went to jail and I offered you to live at the Chen villa. Maybe she wanted you to have a home where you would be safe and protected from his abuse. I don't know. I can only think this is the case considering the timing."
Guiying softly collapsed on the bed, her thoughts a jumbled up mess. She was utterly left confused by Zhan Yahui's existence. It was more of a mystery than anything. Nothing was straightforward with her. Nothing was as it seemed on her face. She held a different expression on the outside but a completely opposite thought process on the inside.
What did Zhan Yahui think of Guiying?
Was she only a pawn for her plans or along the way, Guiying's presence grew much more and much bigger than that?
Guiying had so many questions to ask but the person to give those answers was gone. It was only through her gifts that she could try to make some semblance of the situation.
Zixin sat beside her, patting her head as she cried. This was the reason why he couldn't really hate Zhan Yahui despite the unfortunate things that happened to him because of her. When he saw the last expression Zhan Yahui had, her gaze as she looked at Guiying for the last time - Zixin felt as if he could read a million, unsaid, unexpressed emotions within them.
There was a lot to say. There was a lot to explain. But time had run out and so had her chances. Defeat and fruitlessness glinted in her lost eyes. There was nothing left to articulate herself. Even if she tried to, she wasn't sure how to make Guiying understand her conflicted feelings.
It was at that moment that Zixin felt any displeasure for her, dissipated. She did use Guiying and her alter personality for which he couldn't forgive her, but she wanted to be good to her too. She was struggling how to, but that raw emotion was still there.
Zixin gently wiped her tears as she silently sniffled and sobbed. Maybe now Guiying missed her more than ever.
"It hurts Zixin..." the welled tears in her eyes slipped down. "It hurts that she isn't here anymore. It hurts that she couldn't give me these gifts herself. It hurts that we couldn't grow closer... closer like how Ai and Xing Bi are. I couldn't do anything for her."
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