"Jin?" She lightly tapped on his shoulder, worry increasingly settling in Shui. Something was wrong with the way drops of sweat perched on his forehead and his chest stopped moving as if he had forgotten to breathe.
"Are you okay, Jin?" She whispered.
Jin took a trembling step back, gasping silently for breath but finding it unable to suck in the air.
Kang Xue frowned upon observing Jin's odd behavior. "Hey. You still didn't apologize for crashing into me."
He stiffened, swallowing a hard gulp. Shui quickly gave an apologetic smile. "I am really sorry on his behalf. He is not feeling well. Glad you are not hurt."
Kang Yuze blinked once, bewildered. He stared at Jin, who seemed to look fit and fine just a few minutes ago.
The suffocation in the air reached beyond Jin's tolerance limit, and he pushed himself away from the crowd. "E-Excuse me…"
"J-Jin…" Shui looked at him, stupefied but quickly brought her attention to the siblings. "I am really sorry. I will go check on Jin. I think he is…"
"It's okay, Miss. Han," Kang Yuze smilingly assured her. "The conference is anyway done here. We are all free to leave. Mr. Liu doesn't look so well. He should definitely take care of himself."
"Thanks."
Shui urgently followed Jin, leaving the Kang siblings behind.
"That man was strange…" Kang Xue muttered.
Kang Yuze narrowed his eyes. "What's more strange is you insisting on accompanying me here and then Alix coming out of nowhere. Care to explain this coincidence?"
She cleared her throat but soon enough glared at him. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Bro. She genuinely wanted to see you, and you ruthlessly pushed her away."
"Wanted to see me by using you? So you joined hands with her? Thanks, sis."
"I was just trying to help her! She sincerely wants to make things right so I thought…By the way," she sneakily asked, "Are you interested in that woman?"
"Who?"
"The one who just left."
Kang Yuze widened his eyes. "Han Shui? No. Why are you even asking?"
"Oh. Nothing," she shrugged.
Kang Yuze squinted his gaze. "What is the problem?"
"Nothing-"
"Xue…" his stern voice gave her a final warning.
Kang Xue mumbled. "Alix…said she saw you two chatting together through the glass window of the conference room. She got anxious seeing you two together. You two looked quite comfortable so-"
"So tell her that it's none of her business."
"You are being too harsh, Bro," she coldly emphasized.
"Because I want her to move on. I have no business with the people she meets, and it shouldn't bother her who I meet either. I cannot tolerate this spying anymore, Xue. She has caused enough troubles in our family already and now we have broken up. I don't want to do anything with her anymore. You might like the Ren sisters, but it doesn't mean that I have to always go along with you. Tell Alix not to follow me anymore."
He announced his cold decision and left taking large strides.
—
Jin couldn't feel any strength in his legs as stood by the elevator side, desperately pressing the up button to return to his room. He clutched and touched his neck, rubbing it to feel some comfort while breathing, but he found none. Tears pooled in his eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to collapse on his bed and never wake up from inside his duvet.
"Jin!"
His mind numbed upon hearing her voice, and his desperation shook him even harder. The elevator arrived with a ding and he quickly stepped inside, shutting the doors on Shui's face.
"Jin!" Shui stomped her foot in frustration.
How dare he close the doors on me!
To her luck, the second elevator just arrived as well, and she quickly got inside. Reaching the floor where their rooms were, she stepped out and found Jin fumbling with his keycard. He somehow managed to unlock the door and staggeringly went in, closing the door behind him. But Shui zoomed past the space between the elevator and the corridor and grabbed the door before it closed on her.
"Jin, what is wrong? Please talk to me."
Jin jerked his head, shocked and aghast. He applied pressure to close the door, but Shui refused to budge. "Leave…Leave!"
"I am not leaving you in this state! Either you allow me to come in or I will force my way inside!" She remained firm while pushing the door to make space for her to enter.
"I don't want to talk to anybody," he said, a sense of nauseousness gripping him.
"And this ends now."
She gave another hard push to the door and finally squeezed her way in. She immediately locked the door so that Jin wouldn't have any path left to escape.
"Leave…leave…I…I-I don't…"
Jin ran inside, covering his ears with his hands and shutting his eyes that pressed the tears to slip out. His trembling body shuddered as if he was locked up in a dark and freezing room. Losing all his strength, he collapsed on his knees, bursting into tears.
Shui gasped in shock and fell on her knees to support his body, which was helplessly leaning against the bed. "Jin, calm down…W-whatever the problem is, we will solve it together."
His pale and colorless face that shone with the traces of his wet tears didn't agree with her.
"You…Y-You cannot solve it. N-Nobody can solve it. Please…leave me alone, Shui. I just…" he brought his knees closer to his chest akin to a child afraid of the dark. "Leave a…pathetic man like me alone…" he struggled to find his voice amidst his pressing sobs.
Tears welled up in Shui's irises as her heart twisted to see Jin in pain and so helpless. He clutched his head as if he was trying to escape from something, as if he didn't want those voices and thoughts striking him back.
Shui took a few breaths to calm herself first. She knew she had to be strong herself if she wanted Jin to find his strength too. After stabilizing her heartbeats, she slowly reached out to hold his head between her palms. Naturally, Jin resisted and tried to shake her off as if even her touch pained her. But Shui didn't yield to his protests.
"Jin. I will always stand beside you no matter what it is you are going through. No matter how much of a problem you think you are in, I will not, I will absolutely not let go of your hand. Please…please trust me, Jin," a tear slipped out of her eye. "I will accept every fear and every ugliness that is forcing you to shut yourself. I won't abandon you, Jin. Please talk to me…"
Jin chuckled with tremors in his hushed voice. "D-Don't make promises that you won't be able to uphold, Shui. You will never be able to forgive me. Y-you will never be able to accept me. You will be disgusted by me. You will loathe me a-and I know I deserve every bit of it," he breathed hard.
"There is no way I will loathe you, Jin. There is no way I can hate the man I love so much. Not you. Never," she frigidly iterated.
Jin gave a wry, knowing smile. "You won't…I have hurt you. A lot. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"Let me decide that, Jin," she narrowed her eyes. "You are talking about some mistake that has possibly hurt me, right? So let me be the judge of whether it is forgivable or not. Tell me, Jin. Please…" she whispered, gently resting her forehead against his.
Jin stared at her blankly for a long, long time. His empty gaze mirrored how defeated his heart felt. Their warm and quivering breaths hung in the air between the narrow gap of their faces.
"...Burden."
"Burden?"
"I told you yesterday…" His monotonous voice lacked luster. "There is a responsibility I am willing to take and a burden I am willing to bear."
"Yes…"
"Kang Xue…is that burden," he felt his heart stop beating as he confessed his sin, "I had slept with her in the past."
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