Chapter 40: At That Time, He Met Su Jian
In the end, Ji Yan broke up with that man.
When An Yize received her phone call, he immediately rushed over. Her residence was under surveillance by paparazzi so he took her back to his own residence.
He had just brought her into the house when she threw herself into his arms, crying bitterly.
An Yize couldn’t say if he was happy or sad, but in the end, he couldn’t help but hold her tight.
Ji Yan started living in An Yize’s house.
That was the happiest period of time in An Yize’s life.
Every day after work, she who just happened to be on break after finishing filming had finished making dinner and was waiting for him at home. Even though she’d never cooked much before and her cooking couldn’t really be complimented, he still happily ate every bite.
After dinner, they nestled together on the couch to watch movies. When he was alone, An Yize didn’t watch much TV other than dramas and TV shows she appeared in. But with her, he could happily watch even the most boring of shows.
He knew that she still nursed a wounded heart so he put in a lot of overtime to take her abroad and cheer her up. They leaned against each other watching the Northern lights under the night sky of Norway; they strolled through a village in France holding hands, made wishes with their eyes closed in Rome, and watched fireworks in Edinburgh in each other’s arms.
The passed each day like lovers did.
The anxiousness in her face slowly disappeared, and was replaced with smiles. When An Yize saw her smiles, he felt that the entire world was dazzling bright.
He thought that no matter how tough it had been in the past, he finally had her now.
……..
He secretly had a ring custom made.
On the ring, their initials intertwined, as beautiful as a fairy tale.
The day he received the ring, he held it and stood in front of a window for a long time.
From ten to almost thirty years old, almost twenty years of saving himself, coalesced into the ring in his hand. He suddenly felt as if he were in a trance.
Fortunately, it was worth it to save himself.
He thought that his obstinacy could finally lead to a perfect ending.
…..
That night, he specially prepared enough fireworks to fill the sky.
As the fireworks went off, he brought her to the balcony then brought out the ring box and slowly opened it.
He looked her in the eyes as he said, “Ah Yan, marry me!”
……
The fireworks exploded one after another in the night sky with loud crashes as if disintegrating dream after dream.
Ji Yan stared, motionless, at the ring in front of her.
After a long, silent pause, she paled, then whispered, “Xiao Ze, I’m sorry.”
…….
That night, An Yize drove to the beach by himself.
He couldn’t stay at home because he didn’t know how to face her.
He sat quietly alone in the car for a long time accompanied by the endless night and the cold sounds of the ocean.
At daybreak, An Yize pulled out the ring and threw it far into the ocean.
Then, without looking back, he returned to his car and went home.
…….
When he got home, she had already left.
She left a note on the table. It said: Xiao Ze, I’m sorry.
He looked at that note in his hands for a long time, then finally understood something.
She truly didn’t love him.
In the past, he always thought that even though she didn’t like him as much as he liked her, she at least held some affection for him.
Otherwise, why would she lay on his knees while laughing so happily? When they held hands and passed a village garden, why was she so obedient? And when he kissed her, why did she only lower her eyelashes instead of ever avoiding it?
But now, anxiety started to flood through him.
He thought, most likely, she really didn’t like him.
Otherwise, how was she able to let him be so unhappy?
…….
When he saw her again, a month had passed.
She displayed an apologetic expression as she uneasily said, “I’m sorry, Xiao Ze, for leaving like that on that day. Because I really didn’t know… how to face you.”
His expression stayed normal. “It’s nothing.”
……
Then, he didn’t see her for a long time.
He got calmer each day. He felt he could finally learn to let it go.
After that, he heard the news of her engagement with the man she’d always liked.
……
When he heard the news, he drank until he was dead drunk.
Then, it was Ji Mingfei who rushed over and sent him to the hospital.
“To actually get alcohol poisoning!” Ji Mingfei pointed at him resentfully, “Look at what you’ve become! Is it worth it to do this to yourself? What use is it to put yourself in a miserable state? That other person is about to marry another man! Yize, even now, have you not sobered up? Ji Yan simply treats you like a spare tire. No, you can’t even be considered a spare tire.[1] At most, you’re a trash can!”
He laid in the hospital bed, pale and quiet.
He thought he probably wouldn’t do it again.
Once was enough to experience this kind of poisoning.
……
As his good friend, Ji Mingfei saw the entire course of his feelings for her.
Though he didn’t think highly of it from the very beginning.
He said, “Yize, have you never heard these song lyrics? Those who cannot obtain affections are always in tumult; those who are favored are secure.”
He said, “Yize, Ji Yan doesn’t suit you. She is the ethereal moonlight and doesn’t even match well with a mulish one-track minded person like you!”
…..
After he was discharged, Ji Mingfei uncharacteristically started to actively introduce him to girls.
He asked him, “Yize, what kind do you like? You better not say you like the Ji Yan type! You spent your life stupidly trailing after her and never met other women, right? I feel that you just haven’t met enough girls. You’ll discover after meeting more that there are a lot of good women out there!”
How could he not understand that? Only, sometimes, even being logical didn’t mean one could control one’s own heart.
But as matters stood, he finally realized that he was unable to stay obstinate.
……
People always said the best way to move on was nothing more than starting another relationship.
He thought that he might not have feelings, but he would always have time.
He searched, hoping to find a girl he was willing to spend a dull, uneventful life with.
……
When he met Ji Yan again, she personally told him the news of her impending marriage.
She said it nervously and kept peeking at his eyes as if she were afraid that he would suddenly explode.
But from beginning to end he stayed calm.
He even smiled slightly and said, “Congratulations.”
She visibly relaxed and said with eyes full of sincerity, “Xiao Ze, no matter who I marry, you hold a special place in my heart. You’ll always be one of my most important people. I can’t bear losing you.”
He smiled at her, but didn’t say a word.
She asked, “Right! Xiao Ze, I thought I saw you walking with a girl the other day. Is it a girl you like?”
He said, “No.”
She completely relaxed and said, “It’s okay if it is. If it is, remember to bring her to my wedding!”
……
That night, he went to the bar by himself.
He rarely went to that type of place, but that day he didn’t know where to go.
He didn’t want to get wasted again, but ordered a wine cooler and sipped it slowly.
People checked him out from time to time. Quite a few tried to strike up a conversation, but he was taciturn and didn’t give them any notice.
At that moment, he met Su Jian.
Footnotes:
[1]Spare tire is like someone’s fallback guy that they use for running to when they are sad. Almost a friend-zoned guy but the girl will keep the guy hooked with ambiguous actions.