Su Suyin's room was more spacious than Li Caiyi's but narrower than Li Junjie's. The room was painted in a pastel green color, giving the room a soothing feeling.
However, the mood wasn't soothing at all as Su Suyin stormed her way into the center of the room and only turned her back when she heard the sound of the closing door. She stared at Li Caiyi sharply, contemplating what she should say first.
"Xiaoyi. I'm very disappointed in you."
Li Caiyi squeezed her palm together as she waited for the incoming lecture.
"I have told you many times that you should watch over and protect your sister. By this, I don't mean that everything is okay as long as you are by her side. There's only so much you can do alone, and that's why you need to report to me whenever Xiaohua wants to do something that could potentially cause her condition to deteriorate."
"Do I even have to spell that for you? Are you so slow you don't understand something that simple?" She raised her voice, "You can't study well and can't even look after your sister, so what exactly can you do?"
"Your brother has a promising future, so you won't end up badly if you let him study in peace. The shortcut for that is preventing Xiaohua from collapsing again. By taking care of her, you will help your brother, and your father wouldn't be so dissatisfied with you. But what are you doing now? Not only do you not study, but you have time to watch movies with your friends?"
Li Caiyi jolted when she heard Su Suyin mention her friends.
"You are not kids anymore, so you should stop wasting your time and start studying seriously. Your father recently scolded me for not teaching you well. Just how much are you going to disappoint me? I can't even properly defend you because there's nothing praiseworthy in you. Despite that, I still care about you and am willing to wait for you to snap out of it, but you don't seem like you have any intention to repent at all!"
"Don't you feel sorry for your sister? She should have grown up normally like other girls, but she can't do many things she wants to do because of her shortcomings. As an older sister, you should accompany her more so she won't feel lonely. But what did I hear just now? You are leaving her to have fun by yourself? How selfish can you be?!"
Li Caiyi thought that everything would be fine if she had just gritted her teeth and endured it. It had always been like this, so getting scolded once or twice more wouldn't make any difference. That was what she thought.
However, the more she heard, the more she felt indignant about it. Why was it always her?
Li Caiyi didn't even hope for his older brother to take care of her. She planned to get a job and earn money for herself in the future. After that, she would move out of the house and live by herself.
Li Caiyi didn't even get to hang out with her friends since childhood because Su Suyin always told her not to leave her sister alone, so what was the difference between her as a child and an adult? Did her mother expect her to become Li Chunhua's nanny forever?
Her father despised her incompetency and thus blamed Su Suyin for it. How was it her fault? She didn't even do that bad in school. She just happened to be slow in subjects that Li Jirong liked, and it wasn't like she got low grades for them. It was okay, only not up to Li Jirong's high standard.
Li Caiyi felt weird. Previously, she would have never thought this way. Whenever Su Suyin scolded her, Li Caiyi would drown in self-blame, making her hate herself even more. The more she hated herself, the lower her self-esteem became. It was like a never-ending vicious loop.
But now, with each word coming out of her mother's mouth, her heart grew colder.
"Your friends must be the ones who whispered nonsense to you. That's why you neglect your sister and go out to have fun by yourself. Listen to me well, those friends of yours are no good. You should stay away from them and spend some more time with Xiaohua. She is already pitiful as she is, don't make her more miserable than she already is."
Miserable? Who?
Li Caiyi could hear something snap inside her. Memories of her previous life flashed across her mind. Who was the miserable one here?
Su Suyin watched how Li Caiyi didn't utter a word against her and only looked down. Her bang cast a shadow on her face, so she couldn't look at her face clearly. However, she thought that Li Caiyi must have already understood her mistake by now, so her tone softened.
"Xiaoyi, don't think too badly of it. If you stay obedient and be a good girl, I'm sure your father would be thankful, and he would like you too eventually."
"No, he won't." That sentence had slid out of her mouth before she could stop it.
Su Suyin was taken aback by her sudden answer. "What?"
Li Caiyi didn't want to hurt her mother. She knew that her mother was also put in a difficult position, being a wife to a cold and oppressive husband. If it wasn't for her brilliant brother, Su Suyin probably could not raise her head in front of Li Jirong.
It was all because she had given birth to twin girls.
One was bright but had a fragile body, while the other one was healthy but dull and useless.
The twins were the last chance Su Suyin got. After giving birth to them, her body became too weak to conceive more children. How can an ambitious man like Li Jirong be satisfied with that?
Li Caiyi had witnessed how ruthless Li Jirong treated Su Suyin. She always thought that it was her fault that Su Suyin always cried alone in the middle of the night. It was also her fault for stealing Li Chunhua's strength when she was still in her mother's womb. The guilt made her unable to say anything. The least she could do was listen to her mother's words obediently and make her feel better.
Just like this. She was listening quietly as her mother vented her frustration on her.
She once thought that was her role, the reason for her existence. At least in this way, she could be a little helpful.
How wrong she could be. Everything about her past life was really a bunch of mistakes. No matter how much she tried, Li Jirong would never see her in a different light. That was only her and her mother's wishful thinking.
"Mother, do you think that Xiaohua is pitiful?" Li Caiyi asked softly as she raised her head.
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