Li Cayi was pretty sure he was just confused because of all his dreams. Meng Renshu didn't actually fall for her but only thought he was attracted to her because he kept dreaming about her lately, which was obviously something that was out of his or anyone's control.
"You can't do anything about it, I know. But you can control how you act upon it," Li Caiyi said calmly. "Holding a feeling to a person while fully knowing that person wouldn't return your feeling would only hurt both parties in the end."
Meng Renshu studied her expressions closely. "Have you experienced the same feeling before?"
"That's not the point. I don't have to experience it to know. I'm a writer, so I learn a lot from the book." Li Caiyi argued while suppressing the bitterness inside her.
"That might be the case, but I won't know if I don't try it. I need to show an effort first before deciding if it's useless or not."
Once again, he wasn't wrong. Unlike him, Li Caiyi had never acted upon her feelings even once. She kept it deep inside her heart because she didn't want to burden him with her feelings.
Li Caiyi let out a self-mocking scoff, thinking about that. 'Who am I trying to fool here? I was just one big coward. Thinking that my feelings would burden him is my convenient excuse to avoid rejection.'
Meng Renshu probably misunderstood his feelings, but at least he had come clean with her about his feelings from the start, that he was still unsure, but he was willing to try. Perhaps that was also one reason why his actions and words bothered her so much.
She envied and admired his straightforward nature so much.
"Do as you please, then. Please don't blame me if you feel hurt later." Li Caiyi said in a resigned tone.
Meng Renshu smiled brightly. "Yes, please don't mind me, and just be yourself, Xiaoyi. I'm free to do anything I want, but so are you."
Not only was he bold, but he was also fair. Meng Renshu was the type of person who made a person feel bad instead if they wronged him because of how considerate he was. It was a quality that not everyone could mimic just because they wanted it.
If Meng Renshu insisted he would pursue her even after she rejected him, then there was nothing Li Caiyi could do to discourage him anymore. Only time could snap him back to reality.
"I think I'm good to go again now. My mind has cooled down after that conversation. Shall we continue?"
"Were you unable to focus before because it was too hot here?" Li Caiyi glanced at the air conditioner in the corner of the room, but she didn't perceive anything wrong with it.
"Yeah, it was pretty hot," Meng Renshu chuckled. "But I'm fine now. Let's get back to the lesson, okay?"
"If you say so…."
"How about I help you study in the library after school every day from now on?" Meng Renshu offered.
"No need. I think I will be fine once I have grasped the basic formula."
"Ah, what a shame. But you can always come to me whenever you have a question."
"Yes, thank you."
"Okay, now, where did we stop just now?"
***
The night was chilly today with the storm running wildly outside the window, so Li Caiyi tightened her cardigan above her pajama to keep herself warm.
"Geez, it's so cold here. I can't even move my hand properly anymore." Li Caiyi sighed as she looked down at her half-done homework.
Her short study session in the library with Meng Renshu today really helped her a lot. She usually would need Li Chunhua's help for this, but now she was doing pretty well if she could say so herself.
When she was finally done with her homework, she smiled in satisfaction. "Good job, Caiyi. Just keep moving forward a step at times like this."
Bzzt!
Li Caiyi glanced at her phone and picked it up. She was pleasantly surprised upon seeing the caller's ID.
"It's Shao Jingfei. This must be about my recent novel." Li Caiyi smiled brightly before picking up the phone. "Hello?"
She could hear Shao Jingfei's cheerful voice from the other side, making her anticipation grow in a positive direction.
"Caiyi, sorry to bother you at this time, but I got news for you."
"Yes, what is it?"
Shao Jingfei chuckled before declaring, "Congratulations on your first novel. We have already printed the first sample for your work. Actually, I have it in my hand now, and it was still fresh from the oven!"
Li Caiyi couldn't contain her happiness once she heard that fantastic news. She abruptly stood up and exclaimed, "Really?! Can you send me a picture of it? I want to see!"
"Haha, sure! Let me send it to you real quick!"
A few seconds later, Li Caiyi received a new notification, and she tapped it as soon as it came out. She gasped when she saw the dark blue book with golden and green leaves accent in the picture. It was her book, so her opinion was probably biased, but it was the best book she had ever seen so far.
"How is it? Are you surprised? I especially asked a reliable illustrator to help me come up with this. Behold and praise my might!" Shao Jingfei's smug laughter could be heard from the speaker, but Li Caiyi still hadn't regained her wits.
She was so moved and happy that tears welled up in her eyes. Previously, she always thought that her hobby should be kept hidden forever because it wasn't worthy of anyone's time. She gathered her courage to change herself in this life, and she finally reached this far.
"I did it. I really did it…." Li Caiyi said in a trembling voice.
"Yeah, you did. This is all the fruits of your hard work, and I'm proud of you." Shao Jingfei's voice softened a lot before he added, "No, I bet everyone will be proud of you once they get their hands on this book."
"Jingfei, thank you…." Li Caiyi choked back a sob as she thanked him. If it were not for Shao Jingfei, who found her, she probably couldn't make it this far so fast.
"I'm really grateful to you. This book means a lot to me."
"I'm a gentleman who can't stand hearing a girl cry, but since this time it was a cry of joy, I'll let it slide. Also, you might think this is because of me, but it was the opposite. If it weren't for your work that sparked my interest, I probably wouldn't have so much fun like now."
Li Caiyi was overwhelmed with various emotions now. More than happiness, she felt proud of herself and filled with a sense of achievement.
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