472 Shadowy Truth
It was almost an entire day later when the three debated in the emperor’s personal library, where they poured themselves into numerous historical and philosophical books. All three discussed the many merits and disadvantages of such an alliance, but couldn’t reach any certain conclusion.
The decision was beyond difficult for someone like Claire to handle – as the emperor had stated, the future of the empire was pretty much in her hands. More critically, the future of the people was in her hands.
They shook wildly as the reality of it all continued to bombard her. If she chose poorly, all could be burnt to ashes and scattered to the wind.
At least, that was how she felt about the decision, no matter how much Freya attempted to ease her mind.
And just as Claire felt she was on the verge of an anxious breakdown, Raijin stepped through the open doorway into the library itself. All three of them leapt up from where they were seated and immediately greeted and hugged her.
“We heard you were here,” Freya said. “Azrael said you were working on something for the emperor?”
“As are you, from what I’ve been told,” Raijin replied.
She turned towards the visibly-strained Claire with a comforting smile.
“How are you holding yourself?” she asked.
.....
Claire shook her head with absolute uncertainty. She felt as though she was coming apart due to all of this. No amount of leisure or knowledge stored at the palace could abate it.
“I honestly don’t know,” Claire replied. “There’s too much to think about, too much of the Ravens’ futures tied to this. If… if I refused, the emperor could easily drive us out of the city, out of Rome itself. Just for turning our noses away from him. All our work, everything we’ve achieved would be for nothing.
“But if I accepted, well, then everyone in the empire could benefit greatly. The decision seems easy, but…”
“The problem is that you might lose legitimacy from the people,” Freya continued for her. “I mean, honestly, allying yourself with the emperor would paint you as an elite. And from what Lucifer and I have learned across the countryside, most of the people don’t exactly like the elite.
“Some would even see them dead, if they had any say in the matter.”
“Well, I say you oughta take the deal,” Lucifer retorted. “With the emperor backing your legislation, you could squeeze the imperial treasury of all its denarii, and pour it all into the public instead. Better than going into the patricians’ pockets, right? And that’s good for all of us. Well, for many of us, anyway.”
Claire sighed as the pros and cons clashed against each other in her mind. Of course, the emperor was using her and the Society to further his own power. Such was his nature, and the people would easily see through it.
But at the same time, the people would get more of what they wanted – more freedoms, more sway, more everything.
“What do you think?” she asked Raijin.
“I believe the sum is greater than any single part,” the girl replied. “And of course, all parts are replaceable, no matter how specialized or customized or celebrated they may be.
“Then again, what the hell would I know? I spend all my days wrapped around my projects, blind to all else.”
Claire thought deeply on what Raijin had said, and it certainly rang true.
Nothing else mattered but the people. Her own reputation meant little as long as she accomplished making their lives considerably better.
Without any of them, there was nothing.
Every patrician in the city would amount to nothing if all the people living in their territories simply ceased being productive. Even more so if that happened to their slaves as well. The people was what created prosperity in the empire, and so their well-being was of the utmost importance.
She supposed it didn’t matter if some of them ended up turning away from her. What mattered was that their lives were made better, even if it was just a little bit.
With the emperor’s help, it could be so much more.
Claire then stood up, certain of her decision.
“I’m going to go speak to the emperor,” she said. There was still a slight quaver in her voice, but most of her fears had slid away.
“Want us to come with you?” Freya asked. “Back you up?”
But Claire shook her head.
“You don’t want to be there,” she said. “You two would die of boredom.”
Claire then walked out the library with fire in her every step.
“Wanna come see the emperor’s workshop?” asked Raijin after a few moments. “Perhaps the only chance you’ll ever get to seeing it.”
“Not true,” Lucifer countered. “I’ll see it soon enough.”
A devilish grin spread across hir face, then turned to Freya.
“Look after my clothes would you?” ze asked. “I’m gonna go scout the palace, see what I can find out. If anyone asks, I went to the baths.”
Ze then shifted into a silvery cat as ze leapt out of hir robes and gracefully onto a windowsill nearby. With a satisfied purr, Lucifer leapt further up and out of sight.
After gathering up Lucifer’s robes, Freya and Raijin left the library and went down the hallway out to the peristyle with the pool temple. They were up near the middle of the northern side of the second story and had a commanding view of the pool below.
Across the way from them were a number of scriptoriums where a handful of gilded officials worked. Many seemed busy with their duties, though a handful were more than happy enough to simply idle about.
The two turned the corner southwards to the emperor’s personal courtyard, then further to the very end. They approached the grand exedra and peered out to the Circus Maximus and the southwestern portion of the city itself.
Freya whistled at the view, though Raijin didn’t even bat an eye.
The two walked down the length towards one side, and entered the emperor’s personal workshop. Save for two open windows at one corner, the entire thing was covered wall-to-wall in gadgets, drawings, various parts, and tools.
Most importantly was a pair of shelves overstuffed with so many books that it had grown a small pile right next to it.
Everything looked slightly messy with use.
Freya glanced at a miniature model of a ballista. Or, rather a working model in miniature. Although she was hardly mechanically inclined, she could easily tell that all its parts worked as they would if it was full-sized.
“This emperor made all this?” she asked. “How does he find the time to, I dunno, rule?”
“No, this room is the culmination of work by numerous emperors,” Raijin replied. “Their designs improved and adjusted over time. To be honest, most of the work was performed by renowned engineers who lived in the empire.”
“Like yourself?”
“I should have used the word knowledgeable. I am far from renowned.”
Freya glanced over at a drafting table in one corner of the room. It had sheets of loose papyrus scattered all over, with the topmost few riddled with all kinds of drawings and calculations and notes.
There was a section off to the side that held a number of brass ink pots and quill pens, all of which were in mild disarray despite their high quality. There were also sticks of compressed charcoal and lead styluses laid out in small piles.
“So what are you making for the emperor?” Freya asked. “Wanna introduce the trebuchet a thousand or so years early or something?”
“Nothing as significant as that,” Raijin replied. “I am merely performing refinements to known technologies. For example, I have revised their formula for steel, as well as redesigned their plows. Among other things.
“Perhaps a half dozen such small improvements. None are truly significant.”
“So why are you doing this, then?”
“I wished to see the workshop in person… And also because something was bothering me. I wished to take my mind off things.”
Raijin then went over to a working model of a siege tower, and proceeded to take it apart as she continued to talk.
“Something happened to me a while now,” she said. “Nearly two weeks ago, specifically. I was experimenting with collecting electricity through lightning rods connected to underground batteries.
“I specifically wished to test the validity of an ancient battery design, of iron and copper inside of a clay pot. And if I could charge it through lightning rods.”
Halfway through her recollection, she began to put the siege tower back together. Perfectly, and almost absent-mindedly.
“It worked, although I did not think it would,” she continued. “The problem was that although I buried the battery in the ground, its charge still leapt out through the soil. It struck me, specifically. The pain was so overwhelming that I completely blacked out.”
“Holy shit,” Freya said in alarm. “Are you alright?”
Raijin nodded.
“I woke up some time later, though I did not think I would,” she replied. “But that is not what bothers me. The fact that ever since then, I have not had a single design failure.”
“Uh, isn’t that a good thing?” Freya asked. “Get hit by lightning, turn into a supergenius. What’s not to like?”
“Everything. Making errors is what makes us human. Learning from them is what electrifies me, brings me life and joy in what I create. To have that experience taken away is… disturbing. I feel less myself, and more like an automated script.”
As Freya listened to Raijin, it suddenly dawned on her that the exact same thing happened to her as well. She realized that they both were knocked out at roughly the same time. And also that both of them felt like they weren’t quite like themselves.
Their lives were too perfect.
“Wait!” she said. “That pain – can you describe it?”
“It felt as though my entire body was on fire,” Raijin replied. “As though every particle in my body had been set alight. Electricity has a way of doing exactly that, however. Setting things alight.”
“What about your memories? Do you remember another life? Maybe one with spaceships and whatnot?”
Raijin shook her head.
“No,” she said. “But sometimes, I simply blank out for a moment. Well, maybe that is not so odd. We all do that at times. Perhaps it has become more common since the lightning strike? I’ll have to start taking note…”
“Just blank out? That’s it? Do you just get stuck in a thought, or what?”
“Nothing, just darkness. Then I come back a moment later. Does that happen to you?”
Freya’s brows curled as she thought it through. Both of them had gone through similar things, suffered in similar ways. And it all began from getting knocked out.
Darkness started their change.
Freya’s heart thumped as she realized what she needed to do.
“I need to try something,” Freya said. “Look out for me in the meantime, would you?”
Freya inhaled deeply, then exhaled at length. She then closed her eyes and turned her thoughts inward. Instead of telepathically reaching outward, she instead reached deep in her own mind.
There, she walked backward through her own memories – first her time here at the capital. Their date, the moment they walked through the gates. Then the few days they spent on the road to the capital itself.
.....
Then the day they spent tracking down and eliminating a group of bandits. Then to the moment they found a caravan of merchants, all of whom had been slaughtered.
And then the road from a small village, where they fought that minotaur.
There, she went back to that moment in time when she was bathed in darkness, when everything was nothing, if only for a few moments.
It was there that she pierced through something, and a torrent of memories completely flooded her mind. Her whole life all the way up to Dendrus and Godeater was back in her mind. They coursed through her, and wove alongside all the new memories she had just experienced, of her perfect new life.
Her perfect afterlife.
The one with the perfect form of Lucifer, where they were absolutely primed to ruin an empire for the good of the people. It was everything she could have ever wanted. She wanted to cry at realizing what she had lost, not just the first time but this second time as well.
But no tears came.
Now that she realized where she actually was, and what was actually happening to her, there was no going back any longer. There was no use lamenting it or wishing for it. It simply wasn’t real, just a fever dream of one dying person.
Freya bolstered everything she had left of herself, but found she longer had a body to draw from. Whatever part of her that made it was long gone, absorbed by Godeater.
Which meant that all that was left of her was her memories mixed in with her desires – the very core of her being. But she felt that was enough to fulfill her role as the Dark Feather, and save the lives of her friends and loved ones.
“Godeater!” she called out with her mind. It echoed out in all directions and pierced deep into the shadows. “We’re not done talking!”
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