Chapter 777 Change of Plans
Aika looked up in a panic, eyes full of fear, and saw Kisuke's serene expression, "Don't apologize!", she hurriedly said as she grabbed his arms, "Please don't apologize! You've done nothing wrong!"
Kisuke grabbed Aika's hands and held them tightly before shaking his head, "No. I've realized that this isn't right. I still don't know what could have been the correct way, but I at least have to acknowledge that this one is wrong. First and foremost, I thought that you'd be able to follow the pace I've set and everything was going well. However, everything going well doesn't mean that you're okay with it. So instead of being able to follow, it's more accurate to say that you're all getting dragged along by me."
"Second..." There was a pause as Kisuke stared at Aika's frustrated face that wanted to say something but couldn't, "I treated you as something you're not in the first place."
"W-what are you saying?", asked Aika in utter confusion. But most of all, she's perplexed as to why Kisuke was acting strange. However, she's sure that she won't like where this is going.
Kisuke didn't reply immediately and started thinking back once again. Ever since being aware of himself, he never actually deeply interacted with any 'normal' people. Even in Sado Yasutora and Inoue Orihime's cases, all he ever did is give them a bit of advice and a bit of time to train their powers to usable levels before passing them on to other people to deal with. This is the first time Kisuke extensively took care of someone who lived without dealing with anything supernatural and someone who's going through puberty where there are a lot of uncertainties.
Kisuke had it wrong from the start. It's not a question of whether he should have really taken her to this part of the world or not, it is how he didn't realize his own logic and common sense didn't apply to her even if she had something special that set her apart from others. Whether that came from his own ignorance or the absence of his willingness to figure out those that don't affect him directly, he himself doesn't know, 'It doesn't matter how long you've lived. Things that you don't know will remain unknown even if you've already experienced every other thing...huh. To think I fell for something as obvious as that. I thought that I could separate my emotions from logic, but it turned out that I've been dictated by my emotions and biases from the very start... How foolish and naive of me.'
This self-admission removed an invisible thorn in his heart that Kisuke didn't even know existed. But along with it was the rise of numerous uncertainties and doubts, questions of where else he could have gone wrong.
Sighing, Kisuke finally looked back to Aika, who was on the verge of panicking and eyes full of uncertainty and fear before smiling and saying, "Listen Aika."
But instead of being comforted, Aika became nervous as she waited for his next words, "Before everything else, I'd like you to know that I don't regret bringing you with me. In fact, I should be thankful that you've put up with me and my selfishness."
Kisuke slipped his arm from Aika's grip and placed his hand on her head, patting her hair gently, "I'm sorry for scaring you, but did you think I would say the opposite?"
Aika hesitated for a moment before looking down and nodding her head.
"Is it because you thought that nothing you did mattered if I were to say that?"
Aika didn't say anything nor do anything to answer. But unlike previously, Kisuke wasn't sure if this was affirmation. But whether it's a silent affirmation or she didn't know for sure in the first place, it didn't really matter as what he wanted to say won't change.
"If you have such thoughts, cease them. Even if I regretted it, it doesn't change the fact that your efforts and what you gained from them, albeit forced on you, was yours and yours alone. Nothing can change that, even you. Know that no matter how much you fear your own worthlessness, the meaning of your actions will never disappear."
What Kisuke said was very vague at best, almost nonsensical, but somehow, it resonated with the girl struggling with her own self-worth, giving her a bit of inner peace.
But Kisuke knew that it wasn't enough to lay rest to most of Aika's worries and struggles. Even then, he already had nothing to say, at least nothing that comes to mind right now. He may have all sorts of life experiences, but not much for this, he thought as he resisted the urge to scratch his head.
Instead, Kisuke fixed his sitting position and patted his thighs while looking at Aika.
Kisuke didn't need to say anything and Aika understood what he wanted to say. Slowly laying down, Aika used Kisuke's thighs as a headrest. Normally, she would be instantly ecstatic at the current situation, however, the current atmosphere was so weirdly awkward that she couldn't really enjoy it.
Even with Kisuke's hand gently stroking her head, Aika couldn't seem to find peace. It's as if this tranquility made her fearful, 'I see... The training, for better or worse, became my form of escape... I've been running away from reality all this time.'
Aika finally understood that the awkward atmosphere was stemming from her, yet she seemed to fail to fully understand where her struggles were coming from.
Just from the face she was making, Kisuke figured out what she had been going through. After all, it was a nostalgic and familiar feeling as both Kisuke and Yoruichi went through something similar with their differing situations, 'Struggling inside yet being lost at what's eating you. Before she can resolve it, she first has to find out what she wants and doesn't want to happen.'
Of course, he didn't say anything regarding that as he's confident that Aika would also soon realize this. However that didn't mean he couldn't assist her, so after a few minutes of internally deliberating what he could do, he decided to change his plans for her.
"Say, Aika... Want to go back with me?"
"...What?"
"Hmmm... Forget it. I'll be taking you back with me whether you like it or not."
"...You're strangely forceful with that demand. Not that I mind though. You and Yoruichi are taking just me? What about the rest?"
Kisuke smiled at her and said, "You got it wrong. Since I'll be taking you, I can't take Yoruichi with me, so it'll just be the two of us."
Aika hurriedly stood up in a daze and asked, "Just you and me!? Why!? Wouldn't I just get in your way? Don't you and Yoruichi have a lot to do when you return?"
Aika thought Kisuke had something else in mind and taking just her back would just be a minor inconvenience for him, but to her surprise once again, Kisuke nodded strongly, "That's right. I wanted to ask Yoruichi to deal with something while I did another thing, but taking you with me means that I can't do what I initially wanted anymore."
Kisuke then crossed his arms before continuing, "Frankly speaking, the difficulty of taking on the whole of Olympus and some of the other hidden forces would shoot through the roof with just me moving around."
"Then why!? I don't have enough ability to assist you and the most I can do is fight some small fries, so why?"
Kisuke thought that Aika was severely underestimating herself. If she can go all out, she could actually face off against a weaker God. But that wasn't the point right now, so Kisuke wouldn't mention it. Within those few minutes of thinking, Kisuke was able to set her priorities straight.
"It's because more than dealing with Olympus, I want to help and take care of you. Who cares about those pain in the ass Gods when you're having a hard time like this going through belated puberty!?"
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