Chapter 701 Revenge and Justice part 2
"I... I thought it was the right thing to do?" A sudden headache assaulted Ryuu's head as she was forced to think back to where it all started.
Ryuu stopped what she's doing and held her head. As if a cold wind blew, she started shivering, "N-no... t-that can't be..."
Kisuke looked at her fear-filled face but didn't say anything, 'Let's see... Are you going to run away or confront it this time? If it's the latter, you'll forever be in the shadows of your late comrades.'
Due to Elves' upbringing, most of them are prideful and look down on other races, but they are also righteous thanks to that. However, that also means that they are the beings that see the world closer to black and white when they shouldn't.
So when they did something that went against their beliefs, the most likely scenario was that said Elf would continue down on that path with extreme aggressiveness, retaining their pride and discarding their righteousness while others would retain their righteousness and discard their pride, forever stuck in their mistake and self-loathing.
Although she hated the other Elves for looking down on others, Ryuu still has the pride and righteousness of one. By discarding her 'justice', she was able to retain both of her pride and righteousness by making the latter vague, creating a delicate balance in her mind, and became her source of escapism after the deed 5 years ago.
And by meeting Syr, although she never forgot her past actions, what she's feeling that time became unclear, creating stability in her mental health.
These days, however, she's forced to think back about her rampage and Kisuke just had to push her beyond the cliff that she may not be able to return from.
One might think that an old, wise, and knowledgeable Deity will be able to help her with their wisdom, however, the Gods have a fatal flaw that all of their beliefs and perspectives are influenced by their own Divinity and one line of general thinking won't be able to help Ryuu.
So despite knowing where the real problem with Ryuu lies, Astraea couldn't as she presides over Justice, Innocence, Purity, and Precision.
Kisuke, on the other hand, was directly on the opposite spectrum of the idealistic Deities. And if he can help Ryuu by just opening his mouth a bit, why not? 'Hmmm... This reaction... I guess I hit the nail?'
At this time, Ryuu's mind started closing off as her surroundings darkened from her perspective and she was taken back moments after her Familia's annihilation and her rampage. As if her own mind started torturing her, that moment kept repeating over and over again.
And in each repetition, Kisuke's last words became clearer and clearer which made her remember what really pushed her to do all those things. It was something she forgot..., no, it was something she chose not to think about to protect herself. It was a simple fact that she thought that what she had done was the right thing to do.
Ryuu thought that her massacre, which was deemed to be one of the worst in the history of Orario, was the right thing to do.
"...No..." She muttered as she hugged her shivering body tight.
"Really? Do you want to run away? Again? Your righteousness only amounted to this?"
Hurriedly raising her head, Ryuu looked towards Kisuke and saw the apparent disappointment on his face, "... I."
"If your own righteousness was so important to you, why do you turn a blind eye to your own actions?"
Ryuu looked down and became silent after hearing that. A few minutes later, her shaking stopped, and looked back up with a smile accompanied by a devastated expression, "You're correct. I didn't want to admit it, but back then, I thought it was the right thing to do."
It was then that her tears started falling and her smile began cracking badly, "Very hypocritical, isn't it? I fought for what's right all my life yet I allowed that meaningless revenge to take hold of me. I'm not even deceiving myself when I think that I'm doing the right thing and taking all those lives. In hindsight, I'm no better than those people."
And just as Astraea feared, Ryuu began contemplating if she should just end her life.
While clouded by her own thoughts, Ryuu suddenly felt pain on her nose and pulled her back to see that Kisuke was pinching her nose with a cheeky grin, "See? You can admit it, after all, ~ If you can admit it, then you can definitely face it, so stop making that expression. I'm not going to allow you to escape by taking your own life."
"...Please let me go," Ryuu replied with a nasally voice.
However, Kisuke didn't listen and even pulled up Ryuu's nose, prompting the latter to cry out, "Say... What's so wrong with doing what you thought is right that you're having an existential crisis?"
Ryuu tried to pull off Kisuke's hand but his grip wouldn't let go. Despite this, she still answered, "Because what I did was wrong from the start."
"So you've changed your mind regarding your actions?"
Ryuu stopped moving and became silent, 'Would I have done something different despite knowing the result?' She asked herself. She was about to descend to her own world once again but Kisuke pulled her nose again, pulling her back, and made her remember his words, 'If I can admit it... I can definitely face it, huh...'
She then realized that she really has nothing to lose anymore and decided to take a step forward, "No... I never changed my mind. If I'm thrown into that kind of situation once again, I would do the same thing, thinking it was the right thing to do and ignoring the consequences. Even then, I still believe something like that is wrong."
Kisuke smiled and let go of her nose, "I'll ask once again. What makes it so wrong?"
"Because it just is."
"So this is your justice? The justice you learned to believe?"
Ryuu nodded while nursing her nose, "That's correct."
"A blind justice, huh... How stupid."
"Huh!?" Ryuu was instantly taken aback by his words.
"I said it's stupid. Blind justice is a plain stupid justice!"
While Ryuu was speechless, Kisuke continued his words as if he's venting at the stupid notion of blind justice, "Blind justice might be good on paper, and it's indeed good for a society that has a set of rules, however, this also paints the world black and white which is very far from reality! In other words, real blind justice is just a utopian idea! And every utopian idea is also just a dystopian idea if you look at it in another way!"
Ryuu wanted to say something but Kisuke interrupted her, "I'm not being rude to you or anything, but in my opinion, blind justice is just fake justice! Though I'm open to criticism that might change my mind."
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