Chapter 29: Dealmaker
It wasn't difficult to find the Hero. Going through the map and past the stupid giant running around like a lost baby swinging his sword like a lollipop that was just asking to be stolen by an adult, I finally found the Hero's marker in front of a building that looked slightly bad compared to the others in the posh city.
But.
Just like GPS, the fucking marker did not make up for elevation. I didn't know how something could throw the entire world into chaos and bring back the dead to life only to fail in front of the simple shortcomings of GPS.
Unless it was done on purpose to make things interesting, or unless all of this originated in worlds where elevation held little importance.
Sighing, I kicked the slime ahead and started walking up. The dumb slime was too slow to keep up with my pace, so I used it as a replacement for a pebble.
I had kicked it near the canals and was about to walk away like one would from pebbles, but this one had automatic return features stemming from severe separation anxiety.
"Would you be fucked if your kind find out you teamed with us?"
I asked.
"PIPO!!!"
The slime's answer seemed to be more along the lines of 'stop kicking me if you want an answer' but I did not take quips when I asked questions. I would assume that to be a yes.
"Don't worry, you won't have a 'kind' for long anyway."
"Piii!?"
I kicked the slime up the stairwell, humming a song from way back on my way. After crossing a couple of floors, the sounds of footsteps filled my ears.
Followed by a loud voice.
"Neon Kaiser Darkest Mackenzie Abarreth Shadow Johannesberg the Third?! Is that you?"
"Pipip!"
In front of the stairwell with flickering red emergency lights came the blonde bastard friend of mine, he was peeking outside a house as he looked at us walk up. His face filled with a smile at the sight of the slime, before it scrunched up in horror when he saw me.
Alright, it was clear who your favorite friend is, motherfucker.
"S-sir… why are you here?"
"Hey, who is it?"
My ears perked. I also heard someone else's voice.
Kicking the slime ahead once more, I walked over to the apartment that the Hero was peeking out of.
The hero smiled at me and then looked back inside.
I peeked over his shoulders and froze.
"Oh? Who's this guy?"
I was frozen, completely frozen.
"Sir…?"
"Pipo?"
"Wow, do I look that beautiful? I am flattered—"
"Don't get on your high horses nya…"
Even though another voice joined in, I still couldn't move.
Right below the raven tress, beneath the baggy, soulless eyes, clenched between her pale fingers and studded on her glossy lips.
Was one of the most beautiful things in the world.
A fucking joint.
My mind cooled down at once, if the Hero was hanging around with her then he must have seduced her, he was quick that way. Honestly, someone who looked like a discurd e-girl was definitely not my type. Not someone I wanted in the group either.
But drugs were a deal-maker.
"Sir? Is something the matter?"
I decided to deal with the joint issue later.
"You," I turned to the Hero. "Did you make that thing out there? The giant skeleton?"
"Uh…"
Right then, a black cat jumped atop the Hero's shoulder and nodded.
"He did! He totally did. I saw it with my own eyes meow."
"I-I-I…"
The talking cat said it.
I raised my hand and patted the Hero's shoulder. Initially, I wanted to punch him for making me drop my mana potion.
But this was good enough.
"Great, we'll use that to kill the Apocalypse Manager, that giant slime."
It annoyed me too much. I was looking forward to flipping the apocalypse on its heels anyway.
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