Chapter 821 Regrets
As Harry drove the car to the penitentiary where Sara was being held, his eyes caught Candace's hands and how she kept rubbing them together anxiously.
"If you don't feel up to it, I can go inside alone when we get there. You don't have to face her if you don't want to," Harry said softly.
"I have to face her. I need to," Candace said as she looked out of the window.
She had been thinking all about this visit since she woke up that morning. She had been wondering how she was going to feel when she came face to face with Sara.
Would she feel sorry for the woman? Would she feel angry? Would it be hatred? What was she going to say to her? Would she ask her why she did all of that?
"I need to see the face of the woman who had the nerve to sell and abandon her own children for fame. I have to see the face of the woman who was shameless and cruel enough to want to harvest her daughter's organ illegally," Candace said, her voice thick with emotion.
Seeing that she was determined to go on with it, Harry decided to leave her to her thoughts while he focused on his.
A single question lingered in Harry's mind, a curiosity that had gnawed at him ever since he had discovered he had a twin. As they got out of the car, he finally voiced it.
"Candace," he began hesitantly, "I want to know who is older."
Candace stopped, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. "Does it really matter, Harry?"
He shrugged, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his own mouth. "Maybe not. But it would be nice to know who had the misfortune of being stuck with her a little longer."
A flicker of warmth, a spark of shared experience, ignited in Candace's eyes. For the first time that day, the anger softened, replaced by a flicker of something akin to kinship.
"That would be you. She sold me at birth, remember? You are the one who had the misfortune of being nurtured by her for a week. Maybe that's why you are so mean, you unlucky bastard," Candace said and Harry chuckled as they headed for the building.
The cold, gray walls of the prison stretched high above Harry and Candace as they made their way through the dimly lit corridors. The sterile interior, devoid of warmth or character, smelled faintly of disinfectant and a deeper, more unsettling aroma of regret.
Candace's heart raced with a mixture of anger and apprehension as they approached the visitor's area.
Harry, always composed, walked beside her with a determined stride. They had rehearsed this meeting countless times, but nothing could prepare them for the emotions that would surface when they faced their mother.
They were ushered into a brightly lit room, its white walls reflecting the harsh fluorescent lights with an almost clinical sterility.
As they entered the visitor's room, Sara sat alone at a small table, her eyes downcast. She looked older, wearier, but there was still a hint of the beauty that had once captivated so many.
"Sara," Harry began, his voice low and devoid of warmth.
It was a deliberate choice, a clear distinction from the term "Mom" that would have reeked of a connection he wasn't willing to acknowledge.
Sara flinched at the sound as she looked up, her gaze darting between the twins. But it was the flicker of recognition in her eyes that sent a jolt through Candace as her gaze finally settled on Candace.
Candace felt a primal urge to turn away, to shield herself from the eyes of the callous woman who had birthed her and then ripped a gaping hole in her life, leaving her to navigate a childhood marked by instability and hardship.
"This is my twin sister, Candace. Candace, this is the almighty Sara Walker that chose to decide our fates," Harry said in a form of introduction and sat back to see how Sara would react and how the interaction would go between Sara and Candace.
When Sara had been informed that she had visitors and had been brought here, she had somehow known it would be Harry. She had thought Aaron would be there too, but seeing Candace, she sighed deeply.
Looking at Candace, Sara was sure she would have known that Candace was her daughter even though Janet hadn't shown her Candace's pictures. She didn't need anyone to tell her that. She could see her younger self in Candace. Something she had not seen in Crystal.
Ever since Janet visited her and told her about her biological daughter and grandson, all she could think about Candace and Jamal and all that Janet had said to her.
A shaky breath escaped Sara's lips."I wondered if you would come to see me," Sara rasped, her voice unfamiliar to Candace.
"Of course, I had to. What's the point of having you locked up in here if I don't come to see how you look in your new home? The prison uniform becomes you," Harry said as he looked her over.
Sara took a deep breath, "I figured you were behind it all. You had your sister all along. How did you find her?" Her voice had lost all traces of the arrogance and pride that usually tinged it.
"That's for me to know, and for you to wonder. You see, life has a way of balancing things out. Evil doesn't win forever. And I'm glad to know I was able to bring you here. This is where a person like you should rot," Harry said and Sara nodded, while Candace merely watched them, listening to the exchange.
"You must be happy to have me locked up here," Sara said, her voice devoid of emotion.
"You have no idea how happy I am. It's like locking up a rabid dog that was on the loose. You'd do all you can to protect people from it. Someone like you shouldn't be an idol that other people should be looking up to. Have you seen what your fans say about you? The people you so wanted to love and worship you that made you abandon your family, they have forgotten all about you in a matter of weeks. Right now, you are a nobody. But guess who is going to remember you forever? And I'm pretty sure you can guess what we are going to think each time we remember you?" Harry said and Sara nodded.
"I did what I believed was best for me…."
Candace scoffed, a harsh, humorless sound. "Without stopping to consider the children that you birthed? What about the security, the love, the childhood that we deserved? That I deserved? Do you have any idea how hard my life has been? Do you know all I've been through?" Candace asked angrily.
The question hung in the air, a painful accusation. Sara's shoulders slumped, the facade of nonchalance crumbling under the sheer force of Candace's quiet fury.
A single tear escaped her eye, tracing a glistening path down her plastic cheeks. It wasn't a performance, Harry could tell. It was raw, unadulterated regret.
"Candace…"
"Don't," Candace cut her off, venom lacing every word. "Don't you dare say my name. You don't deserve the right. All those years, you lived your high life, while I scraped by. You had the guts to want to harvest my organ and get rid of me. And now you think a few pathetic words will erase that?" Candace snapped, her voice sharp.
Sara's gaze flickered away, shame creeping into her eyes. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I don't expect you to forgive me or to understand," she whispered, her voice barely audible as tears rolled down her cheeks.
A torrent of emotions she'd spent years suppressing threatened to suffocate her. She longed to reach out, to apologize for ever giving her up in the first place, to explain to Candace that she had tried to find her after she heard of the death of her adoptive parents, but the words wouldn't come. They were choked by the years of silence, the self-serving justifications she'd built to shield herself from the truth.
Candace remained unmoved by the tears that rolled down Sarah's cheeks. The years of anger, the feeling of abandonment, bubbled up within her, threatening to spill over.
"You shouldn't expect anything from me. But you know what," Candace leaned forward, her voice a low growl, "I pity you. You have nothing left. No freedom, no family, not even self-respect. This is all you have: a glimpse of the life you destroyed."
"I deserve that. You can hate me…."
Hate? The concept was alien to Harry. It was an emotion for the weak, for those who couldn't move on. He felt a cold, calculating detachment, a sense of satisfaction at seeing the woman who had abandoned them reduced to this.
"Hate?" Candace repeated, the word a foreign taste on her tongue. "You don't deserve even that from me. Hate takes too much energy, Sara. I… I don't have anything to give you. All I have is this," she gestured towards herself, "a life I built myself, a life far removed from yours. And that is why I came. I wanted you to see the face of the daughter you discarded for your selfish schemes. I hope it was worth it. I hope the years of luxury, affluence and fame was worth all you threw away."
Candace's words, harsh as they were, carried a weight of truth, Sara mused. Candace had built a life, a life far removed from hers. Perhaps, just perhaps, there was still a chance for redemption, not for forgiveness, but for a semblance of peace. Perhaps, by facing the consequences of her actions, she could finally begin to heal the wounds she had inflicted.
Candace stood up abruptly, the chair scraping harshly against the floor with a screech. She met Sara's gaze, her eyes devoid of warmth. "This is over, Sara. This visit, this… whatever this is, it ends now."
"Before we leave, you should know that I had your lawyer draw up your Will with Candace's name on it. She deserves all you own seeing as you sold her in order to get them in the first place," Harry said before Candace could leave and Sara nodded.
None of those things mattered to her anymore. It wasn't like she was going to be released to go back to them. It was best Candace had them than anyone else.
As Harry and Candace headed for the door, Harry hesitated and turned to look at Sara, "I have a question for you, though," Harry said and Sara nodded.
"Anything. You can ask," she said and Candace looked at Harry.
"Who came first. Me or Candace?" Harry asked surprising Sara who hadn't expected such an ordinary question.
"Your sister came first," Sara said and Harry scowled.
"I hope you rot in here," Harry muttered irritably and Candace resisted the urge to laugh as they both walked out of the hall leaving Sara.
Watching them leave, Sara felt crushing weight descend upon her. The anger in Candace's voice, the coldness in Harry's, both echoed the hollowness within her own chest.
The life she'd built, the life she'd believed was so necessary for her happiness, now seemed utterly meaningless. Gone were the cheering crowds, the adoring fans, the luxurious lifestyle. All she had left were the ghosts of the children she'd abandoned, the gaping hole in her heart where a mother's love should have resided.
As the heavy door clanged shut behind them, a single thought echoed in the sterile room: she was truly alone.
She had thought the affluence and fame were all important, and she had thought that she would be satisfied with the knowledge that she had tasted such a life. But it wasn't so.
Her conversation with Janet had broken down some of the walls she had put up around her heart to stop herself from feeling guilty.
Something had shifted within her after Janet left. The anger and defiance that had been a shield for so long had begun to crumble. Seeing Candace now had completely shattered what was left of the shield.
Years of denial cracked, revealing a raw truth. She hadn't just abandoned children; she'd abandoned a part of herself. Candace's words, "the glimpse of the life you destroyed," resonated deeply. The life she had built, the career, the fame – it all seemed hollow now compared to the family she had cast aside.
Ever since Janet's visit, she had been wondering what could have been. How would her life had turned out had she not done all that she did?
What would her life had been as sister, a mother, a grandmother, and a wife?
Aaron had loved her selflessly and after him no other man had come close to showing her half the love he had shown her. Aaron would have no doubt been willing to help her build her career had she been patient.
Couldn't she have had it all? Both the family and career? Couldn't she have set aside her greed and selfishness and thought about other people other than herself for a change?
The life she'd craved, the life she'd sacrificed everything for, had been built on a foundation of sand. Now, the tide of reality had washed it all away, leaving her exposed and vulnerable.
Why did she go so far only to come this low? To end up as a nobody? A criminal with no one beside her. Not even one of those fans who had idolized her.
Her whole life had been in vain. Everything had been for nothing, Sara thought sorrowfully as she was led back to her cell.
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