Chapter 800 It’s Okay Not To Be Okay
After dropping off Jeff, Lucas hesitated as he contemplated whether or not he should go check on Amy or just drive back to the hotel so they could get some rest before it was time for the wedding.
"You know you want to check on her, so why not just do it and be quick about it? I'm exhausted," Tyler complained, seeing how Lucas remained seated in the car without driving.
"Should I just leave her alone?" Lucas asked Tyler, unsure.
"What do you want with her?" Tyler asked and Lucas shook his head.
"Nothing. Yet, I'm worried about her," he confessed.
He had been worried for most of the night during the party and had wondered how she was doing both emotionally as she mourned the loss of Miley, and physically as a result of being under the rain for a while. A couple of times he had almost been tempted to ask Lucy for her number so he would reach out to her to check on her.
Seeing that Lucas was still not making any move to go check on Amy or take them to the hotel, Tyler sighed dramatically as he unfastened his seatbelt and got out of the car.
"Where are going?" Lucas asked as he did the same.
"If you won't check in on her, I should check on her so you can take me to the hotel. I need to get some rest," Tyler said as he walked over to Lucy's door and before Lucas could stop him, he pressed the doorbell.
Inside the house, the weight of grief hung heavy in the air as Amy lay in Lucy's bed, her body wracked with sobs that seemed to have no end.
All through the night, her tears flowed freely, unchecked by the passage of time, as memories of Miley flooded her mind like a torrential downpour.
She had slept for only a moment, and tormented with dreams of Miley, she had woken up to resume crying.
What pained her the most was that because of the state of things between her and Miley's parents, she would most likely not be able to attend Miley's funeral and bid her best friend goodbye.
Amy clutched at the blankets, her heart aching with the emptiness of loss, and she closed her eyes, willing herself to find peace in the beautiful memories they had shared, amidst the storm of grief that threatened to consume her.
Amy's reverie was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell, and her heart skipped a beat. Lucas. It had to be Lucas, she mused, since he was the only one she knew who would check on her. She didn't expect Lucy to send Mia or Jeff, to check on her again.
She hesitated, unsure whether she had the strength to face him, to confront the rawness of her emotions in his presence.
Reluctantly, Amy pushed herself out of bed, her footsteps heavy as she made her way to the door.
As she walked past the mirror she paused, and her breath caught in her throat when she saw her reflection.
Her eyes were swollen and red, her cheeks flushed with the remnants of her anguish. She looked a mess, a shadow of the vibrant woman she had been just the previous morning.
She didn't want Lucas to see her like this, didn't want him to witness the devastation etched into every line of her face. Seeing her that way yesterday was enough.
But the ringing of the doorbell persisted, a gentle reminder of the concern that lay beyond the closed door.
What could she do? Ignore the door? Wouldn't that only make him more determined to see her? Amy thought with a resigned sigh as she continued to the door.
She discreetly looked through the window to confirm that it was Lucas, and when she saw him standing there with Tyler, she sighed inwardly.
Seeing that Tyler was there too, she figured they were probably there to pick something and she couldn't lock them out of Lucy's apartment. This wasn't her place after all.
Amy braced herself and opened the door just a crack, her swollen eyes downcast.
"Hello, Amy. We wanted to see how you are doing," Tyler greeted softly, his voice tinged with sympathy.
While Lucas stood at his side, his gaze warm and compassionate as he took in her disheveled appearance.
"Sorry to intrude. We just dropped off Jeff and decided to check on you before leaving and see how you're holding up," Lucas said apologetically.
Amy forced a small smile onto her lips, though it faltered under the weight of her grief. "I'm... I'm okay," she lied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just... just tired, I guess," she said without looking up.
"Amy, it's okay not to be okay. You've been through a lot, and it's okay to take some time to grieve," Lucas said gently, while Tyler stepped aside for them to talk.
Amy swallowed back a sob, the lump in her throat threatening to choke her. "I know," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the pounding of her heart. "I'm just... struggling, I guess."
Lucas looked at her, not sure what to do. This was the exact reason he had been reluctant to check on her, cause he knew even if he did speak with her, he wouldn't know how best to comfort her.
Maybe if it were someone else he would embrace them, but with Amy, he was being extra cautious and he didn't even want to figure out why. Perhaps it was because of that awkward moment in her kitchen the previous day.
"Do you want to come in?" Amy asked still without meeting his gaze.
Seeing how she was avoiding his gaze, Lucas could tell that she didn't really want him in. Or maybe she did but was just too embarrassed to let him see her in that state.
"No. We just wanted to check in and be sure you weren't sick or anything. Be good, okay?" Lucas said and tears welled in Amy's eyes at his words.
"Thank you, Lucas. I... I appreciate it," she whispered.
With a final nod, Lucas stepped back, "I will get going now. See you when I see you," he said, knowing that he was most likely not going to see her again, since he wouldn't be coming back here anytime soon.
"Why did you excuse us?" Lucas asked when he got into the car and joined Tyler.
"You're the one who wanted to see her. I already said hello," Tyler said, and Lucas shook his head as he started the car.
"About the other lady, Mia…."
"Give it a rest, Ty," Lucas muttered.
"Yeah, I know. It's just that I already mentioned to my colleague that I saw someone who looked like Vanessa Rosewood," Tyler said and Lucas frowned.
"I thought you said you didn't?" Lucas asked and Tyler sighed.
"I did but I felt sort of embarassed to admit it to Jeff. I know what I was talking about. I really believe she is the same person," Tyler said and Lucas shook his head.
"Even if she is, it shouldn't be your problem. Did she commit a crime and is wanted? If she faked her death and ran away from her life over there, then don't you think she might have a good reason to not want that life?" Lucas asked and Tyler nodded.
"Yeah, that was what I was thinking. And that's why I'm sort of worried that I mentioned it to my colleague," Tyler said and Lucas raised a brow.
"Do you think your colleague might tell her family about it?" Lucas asked and Tyler shrugged.
"Maybe. I don't know."
"Then you should inform the lady that you blew her cover…."
"How can I tell her that when she won't even admit who she is?" Tyler asked with a frown.
"Well, tell her anyway, whether or not she admits it," Lucas said impatiently.
"Alright. If she doesn't avoid me and shows up at the wedding, I will approach her and tell her," Tyler said and Lucas sighed.
"I don't think I can hang around Ludus till Monday as I planned," Lucas said and Tyler raised a brow.
"Why not?"
"I would like to go to Heden earlier than planned and sort out my business there. So, maybe we can leave for Heden tomorrow," Lucas said and Tyler nodded thoughtfully.
"That's fine by me. My family will definitely be happy to see me a day earlier," Tyler said and Lucas nodded.
"I guess you told your girlfriend that you're leaving tomorrow? Or do you plan to come see her after the wedding?" Tyler asked and Lucas scowled.
"She isn't my girlfriend, and I didn't tell her anything," Lucas said and Tyler chuckled.
"She isn't your girlfriend yet you worry about her more than…."
"Shut up. If you knew Miley or saw them both together, you'd worry about her too," Lucas said and Tyler nodded.
"I hear you," Tyler said and Lucas eyed him irritably not trusting his response.
"I'm serious," Lucas said defensively.
"And I said I've heard you. If you ask me, I don't mind you liking her. She is completely different from you know who," Tyler said, referring to Rachel.
"It's not your place to mind whether I like her or not…."
"It is. I didn't give my opinion on Rachael, but I plan to give it every step of the way for whoever else you choose to date," Tyler said and Lucas sighed.
"I'm not interested in a relationship yet. I'm not even sure I want to date anyone seriously or get married. When I'm ready to get involved again, it's not going to be anything serious. Maybe I'd get a friend with benefits," Lucas said and Tyler chuckled.
"What's funny?"
"Apart from the fact that you're not the friend with benefit type, you do not even have female friends, so why are you going into such a relationship with? Me?" Tyler asked and Lucas glanced at him with disgust.
"I can easily make female friends if I want to. Do you have any idea how many ladies flirt with me on a daily basis?" Lucas asked and Tyler grinned.
"I do have an idea. But I can bet my last dime that you're going to end up going into another serious relationship with your friend with benefit. That's the kind of person you are," Tyler said and Lucas shrugged.
"Bet it then. I'm not the same Lucas you used to know."
"Listen, you're not the type of person you're portraying yourself to be right now. And if for any reason you are trying to make yourself into who you are not because of what happened with Rachel, then I suggest you sign up for therapy," Tyler said with a serious expression.
"It's not about what happened with her. Do you realize that she is the only lady I've been with all my life? I should have fun…."
"That's not Lucas talking. I'm going to sign you up for therapy immediately we get back," Tyler said and Lucas chuckled.
"Alright. I was just kidding. But I'm really not ready for a relationship anytime soon," Lucas said and Tyler nodded.
"I understand," Tyler said quietly.
"What about you, though? I heard you asking Andy for her number last night. Don't tell me you are interested in her," Lucas asked and Tyler laughed.
"If you heard me asking for her number then how come you didn't hear what she said?"
"I was seated close to you, not her. What did she say?" Lucas asked curiously.
"She said doctors are boring, and she doesn't do doctors," Tyler said and Lucas chuckled.
"She really said that?" Lucas asked and Tyler laughed.
"I told her we are wealthy, and she said she was wealthy too," Tyler said with a grin.
"Are you interested in her?" Lucas asked and he shook his head.
"Not exactly. She is blunt and I like it. And she is pretty too," Tyler said with an amused smile, as he remembered the kiss he had shared with Andy.
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