Chapter 102: Sand
Ryan’s POV
Boom! Boom! Boom! His punches landed with so much force that he could hear the bag protesting. But he did not stop. Normally when Ryan boxed, it gave him a sense of peace.
His mind going quiet as his fists did all of the talking. But on that particular day, hitting his punching bag did not give Ryan the satisfaction that it normally did.
There was just too much going on in his mind and his heart. It was so bad that Ryan had not done any work at all that day, and it was not even because he did not wish to.
Rising early that morning he’d had every intention of working. But the moment that he had stepped foot into his study he had known that if he were to try and work in such a state he would be creating problems that he did not need.
One of the things that Ryan knew about himself was that whenever he was experiencing emotional turmoil. He tended to be snappy with people, and that was no way to run a successful business. So Ryan had reached out to his multiple PAs and he’d had them cancel meetings and move appointments for him.
Though most of them had hidden it well. He’d been able to tell that a lot of them were truly shocked.
Normally when Ryan cancelled things, or had them moved it was with good reason but this time around Ryan had not given any explanations and he’d also had most things pushed back for at least two weeks. He had never done that before and he knew he was making a lot of people unhappy. But the way that Ryan saw it, it was the lesser of two evils.
If he were to try to meet with people and network in his current state, the chances of him burning bridges, and losing partnerships all because of his foul mood were incredibly high.
He might have been heartbroken, but he was not a fool. It was in his best interests to not be doing any work for a little while.
Tch...Pushing aside work all because a woman had turned him down, how low he had fallen.
He’d not even done that for Gwendolyn.
In fact when it came to that situation Ryan had buried himself in work. But for Vivian Rose he found that impossible.
His fists pummeling the punching bag, Ryan tried to clear his mind of all thoughts related to Vivian Rose. But they just kept coming until he finally gave in.
What in the world had Ryan missed?
He was an observant guy, so how had he not realized that in their relationship he was the only one who had developed feelings.
Was Vivian Rose, a preschool teacher, a better actress than most of the actual actresses that Ryan had dated? How had she fooled him into being dumb enough to ask her to be his girlfriend, fully believing that she would say yes, and things between them would progress.
How had he not realized that all that Vivian Rose wanted from him was sex. That she was toying with him? Moving his thoughts away from himself, as his bandaged fists continued to connect with the punching bag Ryan began focusing on Vivian instead, an ugly sneer coming over his face.
How could Vivian be so cruel to him when he had been nothing but kind to her?
Why had she just ended it like it was nothing to her?
If perhaps he’d been able to sense a bit of regret...of pain in her rejection he would have been able to easily accept things. But no matter how many times Ryan went back to that moment in his mind, one thing rang true through it all. Vivian had not cared when she’d cut him off. There had been zero emotion, not only in her voice but in her entire frame.
That had been a woman who had long been waiting for him to let his guard down so that she could cut him.
She had not cared about him at all, and probably never had. But Ryan, fool that he was, had developed genuine feelings, and now he was realizing that more than the sex, he missed Vivian’s company.
He’d gotten used to having her around. To the scent of her perfume lingering in the air, that sweet smell that reminded him of flowers, crayons, and sunshine. Now that she was gone there would be no warm laughs, no accidental glitter transfer on days when the kids had been working on projects that involved the cursed product. There would be nothing in the penthouse that spoke of her presence. There would only be Ryan, just as had been the case for years. The realization had no right to hurt as bad as it did. Not wanting to feel the hurt, Ryan tried to channel it into his punching bag,( that did not work, and he punched even harder as a result).
Vivian had gotten what she wanted. His heart on a silver platter so she could run a blade through it and then she’d left.
Now Ryan was all alone, stuck with fond memories, a broken heart, and a mind that could not make sense of it all.
Crying out in frustration, Ryan added more power to his punches.
Again and again he hit the bag. Tears streaming down his face as he did so until he threw one more punch and just stopped.
His reason for stopping was not because he’d suddenly found the peace that he’d been searching for all along. But instead Ryan stopped in shock, not quite able to believe what he was seeing.
There was sand pouring out of his punching bag. He had hit it so hard that he had torn the material. His eyes moving from the still pouring sand to his bandaged knuckles, Ryan expected to find blood there.
But all that greeted him was the white bandages he had used to wrap his knuckles. Had he carried on just a little while longer without the punching bag giving away first. He was certain that there would have been blood. Even through the layers of bandages he could feel the ache of his knuckles. It was time to stop, and so he did...unfortunately, his tears did not.
***
Trying to put distance between himself and the damage that he’d done in the gym, Ryan found himself in the kitchen.
There should have been no memories of Vivian there. Sure she had cooked for him a few times.
But she had not done it since before his trip abroad, so Ryan had thought that there would be nothing to trigger him. Which was why he was now staring at a container of peeled grapes in silent shock.
Vivian had peeled the grapes for him a few days prior, and she’d done it while wearing one of his shirts, practically drowning in the material.
She had barely managed to finish vacuum sealing them before Ryan had thrown her over his shoulder and had carried her to the bedroom.
That had been just as few short days before the present day. Yet from the ache in his heart, all of those good times might as well have been lifetimes ago. Reaching for the grapes with shaky hands, Ryan’s mood suddenly soured.
She had not cared even then, she had still been playing him. Peeling and sealing grapes like she cared when all that she had been doing was messing with him! Vivian Rose was a real piece of work.
Grabbing the fruit, Ryan headed over to his trash can, and threw them in, container and all, walking away without a second glance, he went to his drinks cabinet.
It was terribly bad form, to drink after a workout. Especially one as intense as the one he’d just had, but Ryan did not care. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey, he took a swig straight from the bottle. Going over to the living room, he collapsed onto one of the couches and continued to drink. But no matter how much alcohol he took in, Ryan found no comfort.
For the first time in years, he found himself wanting to go home.
He wanted to see his grandfather. Scoffing in disgust, he glared at the bottle of alcohol struggling to focus, as it doubled for a second before solidifying into one bottle.
Vivian had him so messed up, he actually wanted to willingly go and see his grandfather. A man that he had been avoiding for years.
That woman had really done a number on him.
