Chapter 2003: Chapter 1794: Zhongg Ji’s Choice
This year the Emperor was already sixteen, Zhuge Liang was also sixteen; yet Zhuge Liang, relying on his own ability, was about to be ennobled, while the Emperor had turned into a mess!
If one says that the Emperor’s performance at twelve still had some excuse in Zhongg Ji’s eyes, then what he did not long ago truly made Zhongg Ji unable to forgive him, because he did it far too badly—so badly that even Zhongg Ji felt he had no face to meet the late emperors of past generations.
The Emperor is sixteen now, he’s been sitting on the throne for six years; let’s not even talk about those Former Han emperors who were basically running on cheats while wrestling with the Huns—just taking the Later Han alone, Zhongg Ji cannot think of a single emperor at sixteen who performed worse than Liu Xie.
Guangwu, Han Ming, Emperor Zhang of Han, Emperor Heu of Han, Emperor Ann of Han, Emperor Shun of Han, Emperor Huan, Emperor Ling—setting aside those emperors who didn’t even live to see double digits, Zhongg Ji really can’t find anyone more trash than Liu Xie.
As for those "fighter jets" among foolish rulers, overlords of wine pools and meat forests, such as Emperor Huan of Han and Emperor Ling of Han.
Emperor Huan of Han expanded the territory by more than one million square kilometers; did you really think that "Huan" in his posthumous title was just blown out of thin air? Emperor Ling of Han was put on the throne at eleven by outer relatives and had his power seized, yet nine months later he exterminated those outer relatives; did you really think that his employing eunuchs meant he was brain-dead? All his life, supreme power never fell into anyone else’s hands.
Even in the later years of Emperor Ling, during the Yellow Turban Rebellion, for the Three Dukes and Nine Ministers in court and the Provincial Governors and Regional Inspectors in the provinces and counties, as long as Emperor Ling wished it, he could dismiss them at any time. Granted, this fellow was indeed hoodwinked by the Ten Attendants, but if we’re being honest, at most the Ten Attendants were just arrogant from favor; when it came to actual power, it all rested in Emperor Ling’s hands!
Yet Huan and Ling were still foolish rulers; and from what Zhongg Ji has personally seen with his own eyes, today’s Emperor Liu Xie is worse than Huan and Ling, and by a long shot.
After Fuu Wan died, once Zhongg Ji had learned everything from the Fuu Family, he could no longer make that kind of carefree laugh he used to, because he truly no longer knew what all that so‑called carefreeness—how many hidden heartaches buried for the sake of plotting for the Han Dynasty—was even for.
So many comrades who shared his ideals died at others’ hands for such a scheme; some killed themselves to cover their own men, some even deliberately died as death spies in others’ hands to pave the way for those still alive.
These people had used their lives to forcibly pave out a road, all so that the Han Dynasty would not decline; but unfortunately they had done everything they could, and yet the final result turned out like this, forcing Zhongg Ji to lose the reason to keep struggling.
It is not that the minister did not exert himself, but that the Emperor is useless; such a useless Emperor even made Zhongg Ji start doubting the more than thirty years of his life up to now.
In the past, no matter how miserable the defeat, no matter how many comrades were executed, Zhongg Ji could face it calmly; he could look at a bleak, blood‑soaked life and still joke with the enemy, and could still keep eating, drinking, and having fun—but now he could not do it anymore.
In the past, no matter how painful it was, at least there was still that one goal: when comrades died horribly before his eyes, Zhongg Ji believed that even if at that very moment he was joking with the enemy, so long as one day he accomplished the goal he had once agreed upon with his comrades, then no matter how excessive his actions, their spirits in the Nine Springs would rest in peace.
Thus Zhongg Ji could go seek pleasure when Hee Yong, Wux Qiong and the others were executed, because he knew that after Hee Yong and the rest died, he needed to shoulder their ideals as well; only by staying alive could he fulfill the oath they had once made.
Likewise, Zhongg Ji could go revel in debauchery not long after Wang Yun died, because he knew clearly that the responsibility for exterminating the Xiliang Warrior, after Wang Yun’s death, partly fell on him too; he had to live, and only by living could he accomplish the things he and his already‑dead comrades had agreed upon.
So Zhongg Ji had always felt that his debauchery and pursuit of pleasure were something he could face with a clear conscience; he was confident that even if one day he died without having fulfilled that old agreement, when he met Hee Yong, Wux Qiong, Wang Yun and the others in the Nine Springs, he could still pat his chest and say that he, Zhongg Ji, had lived this life with no regrets!
Yet this time Fuu Wan was dead, and after learning the whole truth, Zhongg Ji found he could no longer use one wild bout of dissipation to adjust his mood and then go face an even harsher reality—this time he just could not do it.
No matter how Zhongg Ji tried to adjust himself, it was useless; he really couldn’t do it, absolutely couldn’t do it. He could no longer, after one great laugh, put his mood back in order and then take up the heavy burden Fuu Wan had left unfinished, because Zhongg Ji knew he could not shoulder it.
Because Liu Xie’s performance suddenly made Zhongg Ji realize that all his efforts were premised on the Emperor being at least a normally competent emperor; yet the current fact made him understand that Liu Xie’s level probably qualifies him to compete with those Later Han emperors who died at a few years old for the title of "dumbest of all"!
So Zhongg Ji could no longer laugh; he admitted to himself that he could not take over this burden. He was planning to imitate Zhong Yao, hang himself high up in the Imperial Court as mere background; he refused to believe Zhong Yao wouldn’t give him that bit of face.
If that didn’t work, he’d go find Xun Youi and admit his fault; furthermore, even if over at Xun Youi’s side, out of regard for Cao Cao, they chose not to make trouble for him and instead secretly sent him away, Zhongg Ji could turn right around and go seek out Zheng Tai.
These were all comrades who had squatted in the trenches together back in the day; although in recent years their relationship had soured somewhat because of their differing aspirations, Zhongg Ji knew very well that as long as things had not yet reached the point of no return, if he, Zhongg Ji, lowered his head and went to them, they would definitely give him a satisfactory way out.
