Chapter 101
Hes a nobody. Hes one of the sailors who will disappear when we reach Serlio. So, whats so special about him? Why are you only sensitive about Ed when I also quarrel with Marenzio for example?
Shes right.
Cesar realised that hed gone too far with Lil. He began to doubt her affection on a whim, which eventually led him to pay attention to her every move. The whole situation made him anxious, but it wasnt fair to take it out on her.
Im sorry, Liloa.
Lil nodded her head. After Cesar hugged her, he left the captains room.
The fact that I keep getting sensitive isnt good for me nor Liloa, who is clearly having a hard time dealing with my doubts At some point, Edgars play took a turn for the worst and started doing far more damage than I expected.
Cesar had no intention of just watching Ed quietly anymore.
***
Ed, who was laying on his bed with his back against the headboard, picked his ear and asked for clarity.
Im sorry, what?
Without skipping a beat, Cesar repeated what he had said before.
I told you to not deceive Liloa any further. Stop feeding her bullshit and stop your hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy?
I know what youve been saying to seduce her.
Ed folded his arms and laughed into the empty space.
Hahaha..!
He then shut his mouth and smirked at Cesar.
Oh please enlighten me, how did I seduce her?
Dont be pathetic, you can drop this courteous charade with me.
What is this? Do you see your lover as a fool who falls for some random bullshit?
Anyone can say what Liloa wants to hear. That everyone is the same regardless of social rank, that slaves should be freed or that you can help her do what she wants to do. Isnt that why you helped her without asking anything in return, to tell her that?
Not at all.
Youre just taking the easy way out, I could have done the same if I wanted to.
She can actually do anything without someones help.
I told you to stop pretending in front of me.
But its true.
Cesar had a disgruntled expression on his face that he couldnt shake off. Apparently, Cesar really thought that Ed was only pretending in front of Lil. Ed recalled his memories, wondering when his reputation dropped that low.
Do I really look like someone desperate enough to cast aside his beliefs and win someone over with false pretences?..
So youre willingly giving up parts of yourself for a woman?
Captain. Youre talking nonsense. Do you think Liloa covets your position?
Covet?
Do you think shell eventually end up stealing your position as a man?
Even though Cesar didnt answer, there was a reluctant look on his face.
Do you really think women cant do anything on their own?
Liloa is a woman, and men and women are different. Dont blind her by covering up the obvious.
Different you say, can you even define that difference?
Liloa is in enough danger as it is. This life has always been unpredictable, so how did you even come up with the idea of dragging an injured woman into the sea?
Anyone who hears you would think of her as a glass doll. Diving into the sea is not going to ruin her life, so whats the point in worrying? Shell steadily recover day by day.
Dont talk about Liloa recklessly. I dont treat her like a glass doll, and I dont think she should be treated like one.
But your behaviour contradicts what youre saying. If you say its okay, it should be okay. So, whats stopping you from walking your talk? Its not like youre looking after a child.
Because someone has to protect her.
Ed was beginning to get bored with their conversation. Cesar suddenly came in and delivered a sermon, but there was a limit to accepting such a sermon given Eds feelings for Lil. Ed doesnt want Lil to be unhappy, however part of that happiness was to stay with her current lover for a long time.
How terrible will it be if they think theyre getting along great only to discover that their relationship is deteriorating?
Thats why Cesars actions and words were scrutinised. Ed concluded that Cesars conservative attitude was simply the beginning of their misfortune.
Why do you consider Liloa as weak? From what Ive seen she clearly isnt.
Its my duty to protect her.
She doesnt want that kind of protection if the sole reason is because you see her as weak and fragile. Wasnt that how you treated her during and after the battle with the Marian?
Its only natural for me to worry about her.
Its a problem that youre worried about her because shes a woman, instead of seeing her as a person. You arent worried about her because shes made of muscle and bone but because you see her as a weak woman, right?
As a migraine started to rise, Cesar began to massage his temples. It might have been subtle, but Ed noticed his fatigue.
Weve been talking about Liloa for a while now, but I dont sense any connection between the two of them at all.
Ed tilted his head slightly.
So why is he still on this ship or better why is she still here?
Dont twist my words.
Ed suddenly seemed to realise what the biggest conflict between Cesar and Lil was.
Seeing Cesar making such a fuss about Liloas injury, there is no way he voluntarily approved the life of piracy. Its also clear that Cesar isnt interested in freeing the slaves or working with the Southern League
Ed then recalled the time when Lil was drinking and sobbing alone.
Theres only one ending to this tragedy.
Ed clasped his palms together.
First of all, I would like to say that I have respect for you. I feel like Im witnessing the height of affection.
Cesar was trying to figure out what kind of scheme Ed was plotting. It was clear from Cesars body language, with his arms crossed and his back against the door, that he paid no attention to Eds compliment. Either way, Ed continued to say what he wanted to say. His priority was Lil, and he was willing to help if she was still living in hell.
Its incredible that youve been enduring this for years on end for Liloa. But dont think that just because your happiness isnt here, hers isnt here either. If she did find her happiness on this ship, then thats what it is.
Did you mislead Liloa with those words?
No. How can you or I judge the happiness of others? Only you know your own happiness. Happiness is something that can only bloom in the soil rich of stability. By creating a family or even doing small things. While the happiness of the majority is said to bloom like this, there are flowers that bloom from cliff sides or buds that sprout through the snow.
You really dont know how to value people. Hearing you say this clearly states you dont care about Liloa at all Did you just compare her with a mere flower on a cliffside?
The forms of caring about someone can vary. Dont mistake your happiness for hers. Liloa seems to very well know what to do to be happy. She is not a woman, but Liloa. Dont lock her up in the frame of a woman known for only this or that.
I have never, nor do I intend to do so. If I thought of Liloa as an ordinary woman, do you think I would have followed her here? Dont make careless assumptions.
Ed groaned and laid his body straight on his back.
Its clear that this discussion will only be running in circles as neither of us has any intention of backing down on our statement I cant believe he thinks that her happiness is the least important thing in this arduous relationship.
Ed, stretched out on the bed, looked somewhere at the ceiling and muttered.
If you continue to think like that, you wont be able to see the blind spot You and Liloa will suffer terribly
Cesar no longer felt the need to waste more words on this conversation. He sensed a terrible arrogance in Eds eagerness to intervene in a relationship between a man and a woman that only the two of them knew.
That and Edgars smug attitude as if he knows Liloa well.
Cesar left the cabin without saying a word.
***
Ed pressed his hat down and went up the stairs to the upper deck. The rain, which could be heard raging from the moment he walked through the artillery deck, had become considerably louder. Due to the rain falling sideways, he had to block the incoming water from his face with his hand, despite wearing a hat. The floor of the upper deck was littered with buckets to collect rainwater and on the bow side of the ship, near the figurehead, was a bathing party in full swing.
The schedule is likely to be delayed for a few days due to the weather and the shelled hull that needs to be repaired. Even if this is the case, its not a major setback because well have enough water. Of course, assuming that this rain does not turn into a storm
Ed looked up at the sailors tidying up the bow. Seeing them moving cautiously in the rain, it seemed that several people were injured. He then turned towards the captains room. As the hull, riding the waves, swayed, several buckets rolled from left to right. Eds shin was hit by an incoming bucket, fuelling his already high discontent.
I told her to come find me if the medicine would wear off or if the pain would become too much So, why am I the one who needs to drag his precious body through this weather if shes the one who didnt visit me on time?
Muttering a curse, Ed kicked the bucket that hit him exactly in the shin.
Boom. Thurrr
The bucket that rolled with a dull sound came to a stop against someones calf. Ed looked up to that certain someone without much thought.
Captain?
Ed used his forearms to wipe the rainwater from his eyes. After taking a closer look, he confirmed it was indeed Lil and he ran up to her.
No, with all this rain Captain? Captain! What are you doing here?
Ed grabbed Lil by the shoulder and shook her. Whenever she shook, rainwater that had accumulated all over her body flowed down. Lil was completely soaked. Her lips were blue and her body temperature was ridiculously low. Ed couldnt even imagine how long she had been standing there.
Are you crazy?
It hurts
Where?!
Ed soon realised that his question was of no use.
Since she didnt take the medicine on time, she must have been suffering from the pain for at least a few hours now.
Lil had wounds on her sides, forehead, hands and arms, along with large and small bruises. And standing in this downpour was only making things worse.
Ed shouted, putting his hat on her.
Come inside at once!
However, Lil didnt budge. Although she didnt take a single step nor took off his hat, she couldnt hold out against the hands that turned her shoulders. Ed grabbed Lil, who seemed to have lost her soul and entered the captains room. He removed his raincoat and tossed it on the floor before walking around the room and setting his bag down.
Where are the towels?
As expected, there was no answer. Ed stared at Lil, who was sitting absent-mindedly in a chair next to the door, before opening a chest under the bed which he thought was supposed to be a closet. Fortunately, there were indeed clothes and some towels in it. Taking three or four of them, he approached her.
Why the hell did you do that?
Ed scrubbed her hair with a dry towel. He knew she was completely out of her mind as she didnt respond to his kindness. When her hair wasnt soaked anymore, he handed a dry robe to her.
Go wash up and change your clothes. How can I examine you like this.
Do it now before I undress you myself.
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