Xing Han was sitting there, crossing his arms as he stared at the stage, ignoring everything and everyone around him. He looked unperturbed, as if he was bored waiting for the 'show' to begin.
This was completely unlike how he had been when Kyle first left.
He had been a total emotional wreck, despite him swearing that he would be strong. It was so much harder than he thought it would be. True to his word, Kyle went off the grid completely after he left. He did not keep in touch at all except for the occasional very short email once in a while.
The sudden silence had eaten up at Xing Han and initially, he had a lot of trouble coping. He felt like such a fool yet no one made fun of him.
Most surprisingly, the one that had been the kindest and greatest help to him was Nitocris.
He hardly showed any expression though, but that was what made Xing Han feel even more at ease. The way Nitocris was curt, to the point and said things that - though hurtful - was the truth. He didn't dismiss Xing Han's feelings but rather, he told him to deal with it.
Xing Han's mind went back to the first month when Kyle had left.
Flashback??
Xing Han was sitting on the bed, in the dark room with the light from his phone giving the room a weird glow as he stared unblinkingly at the wall.
He had to do this. He could do this. He needed to sleep.
Sam had stayed with him at first when he had moved here to Master - no, Uncle Shifu's house. Uncle Shifu told him that he was no longer teaching Kyle, thus dropped the 'title' and he wanted Xing Han to feel more at home.
Sam couldn't stay with him forever and it had already been two weeks. Sam had his own home, and parents, so Xing Han resolutely told Sam that he was okay.
In truth, he was not.
He had nightmares. He kept it to himself, not wanting to bother anyone and was actually too ashamed to have his fears be put to light.
Taking several deep breaths, he finally calmed himself down and lay on the bed, and soon enough, he fell asleep.
It didn't take long for his nightmare to begin.
It was always the same. Kyle was in the distance, looking like he was in pain. Xing Han's heart felt the pain as well, and he ran after Kyle but Kyle couldn't see him. Couldn't hear him.
Kyle didn't look lost, but he had this look of utter despair on his face that made the tears on Xing Han's face fall down. He ran after Kyle, but as usual, Kyle would turn at that point and walk away.
No matter how hard Xing Han ran, he never could catch up to Kyle. Kyle just kept getting further and further away until he could no longer be seen.
Xing Han woke up then, shouting out Kyle's name, his face wet with tears. He was gasping, clutching his chest when he realised he was not alone. Looking up, he saw Nitocris glaring at him.
The desperate feeling of helplessness that had filled him up in the dream, was washed away by those angry eyes. Indignant, Xing Han pouted and wiped his face hastily. He pulled up his blanket and was about to turn away from Nitocris, only to have his movement blocked.
Nitocris held on to his shoulder, and asked, "How long are you going to keep hiding these nightmares?"
Xing Han froze, his back to Nitocris, "I can handle it. I'm not a baby."
He heard Nitocris sigh then the bed creak and the mattress lower a bit. Shocked, Xing Han was going to turn but Nitocris simply pushed him down back on the bed and commanded, "Sleep."
"What -" Xing Han started to ask when he felt Nitocris hug him from behind.
"Just sleep," growled Nitocris, "I'll be here to keep the nightmares away."
Xing Han opened his mouth to protest but realised ... he was calming down. The rapid beating of his heart was slowing down and there was this sense of peace that started enveloping him.
Xing Han was amazed.
Nitocris was so scary that even his nightmares were scared away!!
Not questioning further, Xing Han closed his eyes.
He fell asleep almost immediately and for the first time since Kyle left, he slept well.
.?.?.?
Xing Han's mind came back to the present as the clapping started. He started clapping as well, welcoming the Principal in giving the New School Year opening speech.
He wasn't listening, his eyes glazed over as he thought of the past several months of having 'no Kyle' in his life.
He was getting into a routine that was good, and he was coping. He was getting stronger (in his mind). Although ... night times were still not good times. In the end, Nitocris ended?sleeping with him all the time.
It was just something that naturally happened and Xing Han was grateful for it.
It was he, Xing Han, that was inconveniencing Nitocris yet, he never complained and never teased him about it.
Ever since that night when Nitocris had caught him having the nightmares, he would come over to check up on him every night upon coming back from work. Each time he saw Xing Han tossing and turning, or whimpering, he would get on the bed and hug Xing Han. Upon feeling Nitocris's familiar presence, Xing Han would calm down and get into a deep sleep.
It got to be so bad that when Nitocris wasn't there, Xing Han couldn't get proper sleep.
Xing Han found that it wasn't really good for it felt as if he was using Nitocris to fill in the gap that was left behind by Kyle. He promised himself that he will get stronger. He was just so weak emotionally that it was pathetic.
Luckily, Nitocris indulged him.
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