Chapter 36 - When I Take It Out, It’ll Be So Cute That You’ll Spit Milk!
Translator: Callis
Editor: Walker
Tang Wan calmly looked at the big star standing in front of the aircraft. “What does Mr. Luo mean?”
Luo Bing Jun sat down opposite of Tang Wan and smiled. “I feel that your aircraft is much safer than mine. I came up to steal a seat.”
Tang Wan cocked his head, and the corners of his lips hooked up. How straightforward, without putting on airs. However, he liked it.
Luo Bing Jun looked over at Ji Yan. “This child is very serious, is he your brother?”
Before Tang Wan could speak, Ji Yan replied, with neither a superior nor an inferior attitude: “I’m just Fūrén’s retainer, Ji Yan. Luo Bing Jun, a star and idol, dabbling in singing, filming, dubbing, and other fields. His real identity is as a part of the Empire’s elite, Duke Luo Minjian’s second young master. He should be careful when associating with Fūrén. The Luo family’s people are very considerate.”
Tang Wan stared at Luo Bing Jun, who was equally as stunned. Then he took another serious look at Ji Yan, who had become a little information expert. “Was everything he said correct?”
Luo Bing Jun didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but nodded. “All correct. I won’t hide it from you, so we’re even. Don’t tell others who I am, and I won’t reveal your information to other people, alright?”
Tang Wan beamed, “You can give me a few more autographs!”
Luo Bing Jun could only agree, mumbling to himself: “I made a loss freeloading this time.”
However, from the little retainer’s words, Tang Wan’s status was higher than his own family’s. The other had said “The Luo family”. For him to have a higher status, he could be military personnel. After flipping through and searching the whole Empire, it was obvious who Tang Wan was.
As soon as Ji Yan saw that the other had understood what he meant, he didn’t say any more. His original intention of “letting the other know whose person Fūrén is” was achieved!
Luo Bing Jun was also a smart man. He didn’t try to deny his identity. After the aircraft was set in motion, he asked with interest: “With your summoning ability, how many creatures can you summon at once? I can only summon ten plants at once, really too little.”
“Plants?” Tang Wan’s interest was also piqued, “What can you summon?”
A small sprout with large leaves appeared in Luo Bing Jun’s palms. “The plants are small when they’re first summoned. They need to be slowly raised and can only be used when grown.”
Tang Wan was curious: “Then can the plants you summon be eaten?”
“Yes! But the poisonous ones can’t be eaten, and there are some that are specially used for combat. Can the creatures you summon be eaten?”
“...I guess, but I’m against eating them.” Saying this, Tang Wan had a sudden flash of inspiration and smacked his thigh. “That’s right! Why don’t I buy a fish to eat! The fish I have now are too large and their meat is too old, it wouldn’t taste good!”
Luo Bing Jun smacked his lips, his handsome face full of anticipation, “I also want to eat Earth’s fish.”
Tang Wan: “&#k2026;&#k2026;”
This elder brother’s face wasn’t thick at all!
The other’s face was very similar to his friend’s, but his character wasn’t the same at all. Tang Wan sympathized with his childhood friend. If the King of Heavens surnamed Luo really was his descendant, then he really was sorry. If it wasn’t cross breeding, then it was a mutation.
“Very well then, I’ll invite you to eat some fish. Can you summon a pot of vegetables for me?” Tang Wan gave a wide smile and talked about his requirements. Businessmen wouldn’t suffer losses.
Luo Bing Jun raised his guard and asked: “What do you want? My agent will really kill me!”
Tang Wan laughed, “I just want a pot of catnip.” He’d put the catnip in his home and let Da Zhuang roll around in it, and then give it to Zong He to sniff. He wanted to see if the cat would reveal a drunken expression.”
However, Luo Bing Jun’s face remained blank. “Catnip, what’s that?”
Tang Wan shot him a disappointed glance, stupid to death! As a summoner of plants, he didn’t know what catnip was! “Catnip, also called camphor and catmint, is a favorite of the feline family. Go back and research it.”
Luo Bing Jun felt that he was truly uncultured.
Tang Wan had already opened the topic, saying that if he couldn’t produce the catnip, he would stop cooperating with him. So, they settled for the next best thing. “Then you can give me a tree peony. Looking at it can bring riches, glory, and splendor.”
Luo Bing Jun’s face was still blank, he didn’t know what a peony was either.
This time, even Ji Yan’s gaze towards him had changed. Uncultured, what a pity.
Tang Wan sighed. “Then give me a crab-apple tree. Looking at it, you can become beautiful and generous.”
Luo Bing Jun was anxious, “Can you name a plant that I know!”
Tang Wan’s face was expressionless, “Then give me a pot of foxtail grass.”
Foxtail grass was difficult to kill. He had once traveled all over the country. Whenever he saw it, he would be reminded of his home.
This time, Luo Bing Jun wasn’t at a loss. He was excited to summon the plant for Tang Wan. “I can give, give, give, however much you want, I can summon that much. If it isn’t enough, I can grow more!”
Tang Wan raised his eyebrows, this was a man with talent! If he could go to Earth one day, he’d bring this older brother to grow grass. He just didn’t know how much this big star wanted to be paid. Tang Wan was amused by his own idea. Holding the plant in his hands, the smile on his face gradually faded. Although he didn’t have much nostalgia for that family, he was a bit homesick now. With the plant, Tang Wan felt that the current him was a fool who wouldn’t raise anyone’s concerns.
At this time, the other asked him: “What about your cat? Do we need to get acquainted beforehand?”
Tang Wan came back to his senses, and his face suddenly revealed a proud expression, bold revealing: “When I take it out, it’ll be so cute that you’ll spit milk!”
Tang Wan directly released Mulan, holding the 20 pound girl in his arms. With a body full of elegant, long fur, soft and smooth, and rubbing against his face, the feeling could immediately cure all heartache!
“Look! Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it pretty?” Tang rubbed against the little lady, and simultaneously enjoyed it rubbing back against him. Still, he didn’t forget to provoke Luo Bing Jun. They were both summoners, why can’t you do it?
When a lie had been told for too many times, even Tang Wan quickly took it as the truth. He regarded himself as a summoner, and it was so fantastic that if wings were plugged in, then he would be able to fly!
Luo Bing Jun’s eyes went red, his foolish face fixated on the cat in Tang Wan’s arms, “My god! A real cat! Alive! Really alive!”
Tang Wan loftily rolled his eyes. Wasn’t that nonsense? All of his cats were alive!
“So a cat actually looks like this, too beautiful! This fur! These paw pads!” Luo Bing Jun couldn’t help but send a video call to Xu Mi. “Da Mi, look quickly, a cat! A real cat!”
Looking at this stranger pointing a camera lens at it, Mulan quickly used its paws to push it away, its face indignant.
Luo Bing Jun was so happy that he quickly cried, “Da Mi! It used its soft paw pads to touch me!”
After a few moments of surprise, Xu Mi’s eyebrows were furrowed, “That’s because it wants to hit you, are you stupid?!”
Tang Wan was in an excellent mood, and he coaxed the little lady, “Mulan ah, in a moment, this odd uncle wants to carry you and take some photos. Let him carry you, alright? Be obedient~ Daddy is here!”
Luo Bing Jun’s face was full of anticipation, he wanted to carry it now!
Tang Wan rubbed Mulan’s head, smoothing out his baby’s fur. Only seeing that it didn’t resist, he said to Luo Bing Jun: “You can touch Mulan for a little bit. I already spoke with it, Mulan is very sensible and won’t hit you.”
Face full of excitement, Luo Bing Jun received Mulan, holding it in both hands as if he was holding a fragile national treasure. From Mulan’s eyes, the dislike was even more evident, but the child was quite obedient. Except for beating up meng pets, it wouldn’t raise its claws against people.
Tang Wan gently rubbed Mulan’s head and smoothed out the little lady’s fur. He only needed Mulan to cooperate, and Jin Xiao Pang wouldn’t have a problem. That one was a foolish child, if you gave it some delicious food, you would be able to coax it.
When they arrived at the shooting location, Luo Bing Jun stepped off the aircraft with an irritated expression. He had only gotten to carry the little fairy Mulan for half an hour while on the road. The big star had been raised to a different level.
This time, the shooting was done in secret. Neither the media nor the reporters knew about it. There were only a few junior reporters on the scene. Once they saw Luo Bing Jun, they felt that they had been right in coming, and they were so excited that they filmed his every move. Seeing Tang Wan with Mulan in his arms, the reporters’ eyes flashed with doubt. Could this be the actor that Xu Mi had just signed?
“This can’t be the live broadcasting circle’s famous ‘Eating, sleeping, and scolding Da Zhuang’? Is what he’s holding in his arms a cat?”
“Yes, yes, yes! That cat is Mulan! The two circle’s two lords really are cooperating!!”
“Fuck! Today, this junior reporter is lucky to have come, this is big news! ‘Eating, sleeping, and scolding Da Zhuang’ looks like this! Who says that he’s ugly and can’t go out to see people? I’ll smear their face with porridge!”
At this time, the reporter reacted and rushed to take photos, not of Luo Bing Jun, but of Tang Wan.
Tang Wan looked at the reporters in front of him, holding the cat in his arms tightly. If they dared to steal his cat, he’d kick them in the crotch! He’d let them know why the blossoms were so red!
Ji Yan’s body flashed, and he was already standing in front of Tang Wan. When he raised his hand, a white light flashed in front of him, and there remained only a white light in the reporters’ film. At a glance, the reporters understood that they couldn’t take pictures. There was a slew of incessant questions: “Are you ‘Eating, sleeping, and scolding Da Zhuang’?”
“The owner of Earth’s Meng Pets Broadcasting Studio?”
“Is your surname Tang?”
“Why won’t you allow pictures?”
“Why don’t you tell the public what you look like? Is there any special reason?”
When Tang Wan saw that these people didn’t intend to steal his cat, a pair of shallow dimples appeared on his face and he looked friendlier, smiling: “No, I’m just not good at handling the media, and I don’t want people to disturb my private life. I don’t want to be surrounded when I go out for a walk, so please don’t take pictures.”
Tang Wan pitifully looked at the reporters, holding Mulan’s paw and shaking it. The reporters weren’t old, and their hearts were turned over by the cuteness. Whether they were looking at Tang Wan’s beauty or the cute cat, they all obeyed him and wouldn’t take pictures!
One reporter gave him face and quickly switched off his camera. Tang Wan continued to wave around Mulan’s paw at the reporters who hadn’t put their cameras away. The remaining reporters’ faces were full of helplessness, but they put their cameras away. “Alright, since your looks are so good, what you say goes.” After closing their cameras, the reporters finally noticed that it was as if they had drunk Mi Hun Tang. It was such good material, but they couldn’t report it.
At this time, Ji Yan looked at the reporter standing the furthest away and pointed at him, “Please turn off the concealed camera. My family’s Fūrén already said that he doesn’t want to be photographed.”
When Ji Yan stood behind Tang Wan, he was wordless and silent, and his temperament weak, like a purse carrying little miss. Now that his gaze was fixed on one person, only that person could feel the threat in his eyes. Ji Yan was also of Asian descent, and his eyes were dark and deep. When he looked at people indifferently, they would feel as if their souls had been sucked in. The reporter shuddered in fear and quickly turned off the concealed camera. After the camera was turned off, he found that everyone was looking at him, and his face quickly showed a bit of shame. He weakly scoffed, “Indeed, the Empire has the freedom of speech, and the media are the eyes of the Empire’s common people. Why can’t pictures be taken?”
Ji Yan replied coldly: “Because your status isn’t high enough.”
There were also regulations in the Empire. Those who could take pictures of nobles were senior experienced reporters. For reporters with the credentials, even if Tang Wan was a royal, it would be okay. However, for ordinary reporters, they didn’t have the right to take pictures.
From this sentence, many experienced people figured out that Tang Wan’s identity was not simple. It would be better to avoid unnecessary trouble. If he didn’t want them to take pictures, then they wouldn’t. The reporter that had just spoken up had a sour look on his face and withdrew into the crowd, no longer taking any pictures.
At this time, Xu Mi came out to pick up Tang Wan himself, “Why have you stopped here? I’ve already set things up inside, and Luo Bing Jun had already changed his outfit. We’re waiting for you.”
Tang Wan smiled apologetically at the reporters and followed Xu Mi.
After the little reporter furiously left, he saw a sloppy looking youth wandering around. A plan formed in his head and a sneer pulled at the corner of his mouth and craftily called out: “Young fellow, come and help me a bit. I’ll give you one thousand star coins, how about it?”
Sorry for the delay! (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ
If you follow CG’s discord, then you’ll know that I had a bunch of midterms.
I’ll try to make it up with extra chapters, but I also have term project demos and a hackathon this weekend, so I’ll try my best!