Jean paused for a moment before finally braving himself to touch Lilia's cheek. Deep down inside, he felt a little guilty for doing this without Lilia's permission. However, if that woman was going to reject him after she found out the truth, Jean wanted to engrave this peaceful moment in his mind.
As Jean stared at Lilia's sleeping face, his memory of that day flashed into his mind. The little girl in a lacy white skirt that he met at that time was lying beside him. It'd been 14 years since that day, so it's no wonder Lilia didn't remember their meeting.
Jean preferred the woman to keep forgetting about their first meeting. He didn't want Lilia to remember the most humiliating moment in his life. But Jean knew that woman would remember what happened, sooner or later.
The scariest part was that Jean didn't know how Lilia would react when she remembered what happened. Would that woman accept it? Or would she leave Jean instead?
The man pulled his hand away at the thought of the possibility that Lilia might abandon him. Jean had done everything he could to make sure that wouldn't happen. He tried to tie Lilia to his side in various ways and showered her with so much love and care.
But the one thing that Jean wouldn't do was touching Lilia. Though he knew that the most effective way to chain the woman was to get her pregnant. If he had done so, Lilia wouldn't be able to run away from him. And yet, he didn't do that.
Jean wanted to respect the decision of the woman he loved. He wanted their child to receive genuine love and affection from both parents, not because of coercion or bondage. That's why Jean always held back by just kissing Lilia. If he went any further than that, he wasn't sure if he could hold back.
Jean looked at Lilia's closed eyes and prayed that a pair of eyes that were black as a dark night would never look at him with hatred.
*****
When Jean was struggling with his worries and negative thoughts, the man's feelings were also channeled to Lilia. She could not sleep well, and was filled with anxiety.
Lilia's dream was filled with foreigners and blood. She also heard the clink of chains being dragged across the ground. Lilia fidgeted, trying to wake up from the unpleasant dream. But her chest felt tight, as if she was trapped with no way out.
"... lia ... Lilia ...Lilia, wake up."
The voice of someone calling her sounded like music to Lilia's ears. That clear voice could dispel the nightmare that invaded her sleep in just an instant.
"...!" Lilia opened her eyes in surprise.
At first, Lilia's eyes could only catch the blurry shadows. She repeatedly blinked her eyes while taking a deep breath. The world around her gradually became clearer. Lilia could see Jean's face looking back at her with worry.
"... Jean?" Lilia muttered in a hoarse voice. She just realized that the man's hand was still holding her cheeks. Jean's touch burned against her icy skin. "What happened to me?"
Jean pursed his lips tightly. He tried to suppress his worries when he saw Lilia's eyes continue to twitch in panic. Jean knew that Lilia was still disoriented after being suddenly woken up.
"It's nothing." Jean tried to convince her. "You just had a bad dream!"
The man grabbed Lilia's shoulders and pulled her into his embrace. Jean patted the woman's back in a soothing motion while trying to hide his own worries. If Lilia saw him worried, that woman would become even more confused.
But this was the first time Jean saw Lilia having a nightmare like this. The woman's face lost its color and even her lips turned pale. Cold sweat creased her forehead and her breathing was still irregular.
Lilia let the warmth of Jean's body slowly calm her down. She leaned her head on the man's shoulder. For a moment, her mind felt chaotic. The sound of chains being dragged across the rocky ground was still ringing in Lilia's ears, as if it really did happen.
"I…" Lilia opened her mouth, but her voice was hoarse. She cleared her throat before continuing, "I seem to be dreaming of something, but I'm not really sure. The only thing I remember from my dream is the sound of the iron chain. Oh, and there was blood in the dream as well… but I can't remember the rest."
When Jean heard that, he frowned. Lilia couldn't see it, but the man's eyes flashed dark. Jean paused for a moment before finally saying, "If you feel uncomfortable, we can go back now."
Jean had lost his confidence when he said that. However, Lilia was too shaken by her nightmare to realize it. It took her a while to process Jean's words.
Lilia immediately pulled herself and pushed the man away. Then she straightened up while giving Jean a look of disbelief. "Why do we need to go back? I just had a bad dream, that's all. I'm fine, so you don't need to make a big deal out of it."
Jean reached out to wipe the cold sweat off Lilia's forehead. His thumb ran the woman's brow. "Is it true?" he softly asked.
"Yes, I'm fine!" Lilia nodded confidently.
Even though she was shocked by the nightmare just now, it was no big deal. Who hadn't had a nightmare in their life? Jean was clearly exaggerating!
*****
Their journey to the remote village went smoothly. As Lilia was still shaken by her nightmare, Jean ordered Clifford to buy lunch for them to eat in the RV. He felt that Lilia had not recovered enough to function as usual.
Lilia sat on the sofa with a plate of food in front of her. Even though her eyes stared at the plate and her hand moved to scoop out the food, Lilia's mind wasn't there. She was busy thinking why she had such nightmares.
After she calmed down, Lilia could vaguely remember the splash of someone's blood in her dream. But why did she dream about that? When had she ever seen someone bleeding that badly in front of her?
"Don't worry about it." Jean's voice broke Lilia's reverie. "Eat a lot so that you recover soon."
Jean had been observing Lilia's expression since earlier. The woman seemed unfocused and barely touched her food. He didn't want Lilia to push herself too much, so he deliberately interrupted her thoughts.
Lilia's blank gaze finally focused on Jean's figure. She forced a weak smile and changed the topic. "Jean, when will we arrive at the village?" she asked.
Hearing that, Jean put down the spoon. His expression suddenly turned dark, although Lilia didn't know the reason. "There's still an hour and a half to go," his answer was short.
After saying that, Jean pushed his plate away and took out his cigarette case. He looked like he had lost his appetite after Lilia brought up the topic.
Lilia felt a little guilty for choosing the wrong topic. She tried to smile as she asked in a light voice, "Jean, why do you look so serious?"
That woman had never seen Jean act so cold when they were spending time alone. She was used to Jean's warm and caring attitude, so this change of attitude took her by surprise. It felt as if Jean had suddenly turned into a completely different person.
The man lit his cigarette with slow movements.. After exhaling cigarette smoke, then Jean answered, "Because I'm afraid that you won't be able to handle it."
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