792 Shared Love
I’m a kid again.
Dumb, clueless, yet amped up to face the big, big world with guts and confidence galaxy-wide. I suppose when your legs were just that close to the ground, things around don’t really appear too daunting, ’cause as far you’re concerned – everything’s already way in over your head anyway.
For instance, I distinctly remember trying to braid my even littler little sister’s hair when I was younger.
Didn’t go very well, of course. I just learned how to tie my shoes then, pretty proud of the fact too, so when I did have my hands on locks of her hair… I simply fell back to what I knew best. Then tack on some hair clips, wrap it all up with a band, and voilà – even better than how mom does it.
‘The shoelace’ hell yeah, picture that being featured at your local salon.
As far as dumb and clueless goes that wasn’t really that bad. Especially since yeah, one could argue it’s a kid’s entire job to be dumb and clueless. But the thing was – I wasn’t a kid anymore. I’m grown, I’m an adult, I should be wiser, smarter, right?
Well, here I am, playing with hair again – and I was just as dumb and clueless as I was back then, except now without the confidence, and sadly I have a feeling ‘The shoelace’ was just a passing fad of the times… all five minutes of it.
“Shit…” I whispered under a breath, realizing the braid I was in the middle of forming fall apart in my fingers for like the millionth time. “Gonna have to start over again, gimme a sec.”
Really though, I could have the entire lifespan of the universe to hone my craft and I’d probably still be no closer to surpassing my magnum opus when I was but a wee child.
.....
A paying customer would have boycotted me by now, but with every passing failure, Adalia just simply made herself more at home atop the concrete floor.
Can’t imagine it must be comfortable, even if with a light sprinkle of snow for padding… yet I did not hear a single word of complaint still. As far as I could tell, she was a satisfied customer.
At least the view was nice. If nothing else, we can both share satisfaction in that. The both of us sat before the frosted, fissured glass panes… drowned in moonlight which in turn blended right in with the bright, glowing rims of the vast cityscape.
Can’t stop and admire the nightly vista, sadly, still got a bow that needs bowing.
Okay so, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Amanda with a bow on, like, at least enough times for me to lose count. She also always had it on in a different way each time too, so fortunately I had some inspiration to go off of.
I’ve always liked the one where she did a twist at the sides, braiding a lock, curling it around the back of her head on each end, with the bow being used to hold them both together into one.
There was not a single doubt in my mind Adalia would only look just as captivating… provided that I’m able to pull it correctly, that is.
I started over again, brushing, adjusting, letting her mesmerizing silvery threads glide freely across my palm.
“I wonder, do all vampires have hair as nice as yours?” I asked. “Yours kind of feels almost too ethereal to even touch.”
“Not… all…” She responded. “Sister’s is… nicer…”
Inch by inch, twist and turn, turn and twist, I kept on braiding.
“I suppose I’ll just have to take your word on that.”
This was quite something, wasn’t it? Glancing back at things, after all the shenanigan we found ourselves in; all to culminate to this – just sitting, just talking, just braiding.
“I had fun today,” I said, weaving out another silver thread. “I’m sure you did too.”
“I… did…”
“I’m not sure if I should even be saying this… but I’m happy that it’s you I got to spend the whole day with today.”
She tilted her head a little off-center.
“You… could be… happier…” her words left in a musing whisper. “Ash… would have been… lovelier… Amanda would… have been funner… Irene…”
“Word of advice – humility is only really endearing when you aren’t outright insulting yourself. On that front, you could stand to be more like your sister. Take the compliment, Adalia,” I gave the top of her head a light ruffling. “It’s what a lover would do.”
She stopped musing right away, leaning her head back center. “Okay…”
Right then, it popped into my head… and of course, it only happened as soon as I had stopped trying. Seeing her, hearing her, I finally had something to say.
“Y’know, I wonder what he’d think if he could see you now,” I blinked, and a little off to the side, I caught her eye. “Liamel…”
There she goes again, that brief-but-not-brief pause, her gaze reading so deep into almost live-body autopsy.
“You… were jealous…”
“What?”
“Watching him… with me…” She slanted her head again, and I felt my fingers tug along with. “You were… jealous…”
It almost sounded like she was trying to tease me if I didn’t know better, but alas I did – and I knew that Adalia does not tease.
“When he… confessed to me… and… kissed me…” She continued to unintentionally ridicule. “You looked… quite... troubled…”
“Adalia, I’m the last person to be saying anything about people kissing other people,” I said to her, feeling both mortified and amused. “You just caught me off guard there… I didn’t expect you to be the one to goad him.”
Adalia remained staring at me. “Is that… all…?”
“Must there really be more?”
“If you... think so...”
Pretty soon I’m going to need to start wearing a blindfold any time I answer her questions, especially if it were for things I’d rather keep to myself. Because she knows, she just knows… and yeah, I do think so.
“Watching him with you,” I began hesitantly, my fingers slowly grinding to a halt in place. “How he took to you, and how you took to him. Despite how you were, and despite how he was. It was bit ruffling for me, I admit.”
“I... see...” She muttered. “You... were... jealous.”
“I guess, for a moment, I guess. But then the jealously stopped the more I saw of you two. The way you two interacted with each other. How you responded to him in a way even Amelia couldn’t elicit from you – I started thinking about something else.”
Adalia was quiet, staring, I kinda wish she didn’t. It’s only making it weirder for me.
“Then he confessed to you, and you didn’t readily turn him away. You claim you didn’t how to love, you said you haven’t a clue what it was, but then when he kissed you and I saw you suddenly kissing him back, in that moment, in my head, that pretty much confirmed it all for me.”
“Con… firmed… what…?”
“That maybe…” there it was, that thought, that stupid, senseless feeling again. “...maybe you would be happier if you were with him rather than me.”
My eyes were rigidly fixated on my hands, the little tousles of her silver locks draped over them. I was almost done apparently, I nearly have it this time.
“Don’t take me seriously,” I spoke up again, rousing my fingers back to motion. “I only thought about it for a moment. It’s not something I’m actually hung up about, so…”
The last strand, the final braid, and as if a heavy breeze just blew, her hair suddenly and quickly slipped away from my fingers – all the coupled knots, all my hard work falling apart in a stream of murky silver as Adalia whirled around to directly face me.
“It… hurts…” then like an injured puppy seeking comfort, she curled up against me, her hands wrapping around in a freezing embrace. “Hearing you say that… it hurts…”
“I-I, Adalia hey, I didn’t mean…” I stammered, panicking slightly, caught utterly blindsided by her hastiness. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said…”
“Why… does it hurt…?” She spoke over me, her muffled voice echoing a genuine confusion. “I do not… understand… it…”
“Look, we’ll just forget about it, okay?”
“It is not true… I know… it is not true… I will not be… happier without you…” She continued to whisper, seemingly hearing only herself. “But… when you said it… you sounded… so sincere… you sounded… like you believed… it…”
“Adalia…”
“And it hurts…” She lifted her head, her eyes peering up at me in a fierce storm of misty gray. Her usual vacant expression stirring with something just a little more. “And… you are wrong…”
“I know I was,” I said, quick to reassure her. “It was just a thought. I mean, he did love you. So much and so strongly. As much as I do.”
“I did… not love… him…”
“You didn’t know how to love back then, you said it yourself,” I said. “But if you did, if you knew how or what love is for you – tell me, can you really honestly say you wouldn’t have?”
Adalia paused to consider while slowly and gradually easing her hold onto me. After a moment, she spoke again.
“I… do not… know…”
“I think you would have. And that’s okay,” I quickly added, seeing a fiercer swirl in her gaze. “It doesn’t mean anything now. I’m here, I’m with you, and I’m just thankful that I am. I’m thankful that it’s me.”
Front and forward, I shifted my eyes toward the ocean of falling snow, watching every crystalline shimmer with the glow of the city.
“And if it weren’t for him, if he never had loved you so deeply… then I never would have met you.”
“You are… grateful…” She remarked.
“Sincerely,” I affirmed. “Which loops us right back full circle to my original question. If Liamel could see you now, right here… what do you think he’d think of it?”
Adalia took the longest pause this time around to try and work this wonky riddle of mine. Yet somehow with senses as sharp as hers, she was still so utterly blind when it came to things that regarded her.
“I do… not know…” She responded.
She was just the same as she was way back when. Only the vaguest clue when it came to love. But I think I might have an idea. If Liamel cared for her as much as did, then in his shoes, I would only think of one thing and one thing only.
“If you ask me, I think he’d be happy.”
She cocked her head. “Happy…?”
“Yeah,” I glanced back down at her, holding her tightly, keeping her close, just as he would have. “To know there’s somebody else out there that still loves you just as much.”
She blinked, slanting hear head down to a stop that almost resembled a nod.
“I... see...”
What I said made sense to her. But when it came to sentiments, I think she needed another moment to fully grasp it completely. And with her wavy, silver hair back to its usual loose flow down her shoulders and beyond, she can have an entire lifetime of moments as far I’m concerned.
“Now, if you can just kindly turn around again,” I said to her, plucking up the hairpin from the ground. “I’m gonna need to start over.”
.....
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