776 A Losing Wish
How the hell? Was my first question.
Who the hell? Was a close, narrow second.
The applause and fanfare that resonated throughout sounded as if they were happening in a completely separate space in time, and maybe in that separate space, a different time, it would have been us slowly marching onto the stage to the envy of admiration of a countless dozen.
Alas, that place wasn’t here, that win wasn’t us.
Matthew and Kim raced up onto the platform, pale as paper, and utterly shaking quaking with fervor. It turns out, Matthew wasn’t exactly a stranger to me.
I knew him from way back during the second event, that shy, timid number Six that scored the least in looks, but in the end, made a surprise comeback and ended up placing third place right behind Leon and me.
Now here he was, alongside that girl named Kim, entwined in a tight embrace brimming with tears and shrieks of joy.
It was only after seeing his sheepish smile shining up there in the spotlight, and burrowing my way through a mountain of shock and disbelief that I finally recognized him—and that mountain of mine instantly morphed into an active volcano, spewing out a hellfire of thoughts and queries.
Were they really that high in points? Did they also participate in all three optional events? And even if they did, did they seriously manage to amass enough points to actually beat us? Hell, beat Leon even? Maybe they spent all their efforts answering countless dilemmas, I don’t know—I really haven’t the faintest idea how they could beat us.
.....
I really believed we’d won…
The backdrop of the stage lit up again, momentarily blinding, dazzling. I blinked through the blurs in my eyes trying to regain focus, and at that moment, in a single photo, a single frame—glowing like a beacon in the night for all to see—everything was made clear.
Roses scattered across a small room in bloom, vibrant wreaths that hung across every wall and entwined from each one to the next by silky white drapes adorned across a wedding hall, and there, featured front and center, Matthew was kneeled down on one knee, the most aghast-looking smile on his face and shaky hands holding up, holding out to his lover, the biggest, brightest diamond ring I’ve ever seen.
The crowning highlight of their participation… and arguably, even their lives…
Seeing that, I immediately blew past the stage of denial, skipped past anger, and landed flat on my face in the cold, bittersweet embrace of acceptance.
“A vow, a promise, a heartwarming proposal to be one together and forever,” Leon’s Dad spoke with a voice teeming with warmth turning to the crowd with a glimmer in his eyes that may have been welling tears. “I ask you, what greater, grander display of one’s love could surpass such a heartfelt gesture?”
My thoughts exactly. It didn’t matter if we had run through a valley of snowballs without so much a colored-scrape, or had been the most attractive, the most charismatic, or even the fastest and most efficient clearing through obstacles.
When it came to things that might potentially overshadow an actual proposal of marriage, the answer was quite simple, really—not very many.
“Everyone! Our lovers of the night, and of the year! Matthew and Kim! Please, grant them your sincerest ovations, and may we all wish them a long, prosperous life abundant with the joy and happiness they have shown us here tonight! ”
No one needed telling twice. Even passing onlookers joined in on the most clamorous, electrifying round of applause yet.
It just kept going on and on, with the winning couple overwhelmed to the brink of streaming tears. I joined in too. Despite disappointment an anchoring, heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I genuinely felt happy for them. In turn, the couple thanked us, waved at us, a glint of pure white shining prominently on a weeping Kim’s finger.
Adalia on the other hand, kept her hands to herself. In a lively crowd of such infectious enthusiasm, she chose to simply continue staring—a muted expression revealing nothing—with all the noises, the entirety of her surroundings, seemingly fading from her focus.
After a while, with the revelry finally dwindling away, Matthew and Kim waltz off the stage, their rewards as best couple made due in the elegant flutter of Christmas robes donned over their winter coats, effectively solidifying their status as the Mr. and Mrs. Claus of the occasion both figuratively, and literally now.
The loudspeakers rippled with sharp static, and then the thump of a cane, as the head organizer slowly limped back onto the front and center.
He gave another round of congratulations and thanks to us participants, and made a grand profound speech about how deep down we were all winners one way shape or form, I think—I kinda tuned out after only a couple of seconds. Adalia’s continued silence, her utter lack of reaction, to me, was higher levels more deafening than anything he had to say.
“...finally, I would like to thank you all again for gathering here today. To celebrate this special day not as sparse individuals, but as a common whole, a community of bonds and camaraderie. Please, continue to enjoy the rest of the evening planned, and do not forget, in an hour’s time, you would be a fool to divert your anywhere else but to the skies. Tonight, I have prepared for us a light show like no other. So do look forward to it. And with that, I now bid all of you farewell and a Merry Christmas.”
Another explosion of applause, and then slowly, one after the other, the crowd began to thin and narrow. The winners declared, the contest finished—and a single Christmas wish going unfulfilled.
“No winners,” Leon spoke over my shoulder, taking his loss with dignity and grace, manifesting his frustrations with a light sigh, in stark contrast with his date, turning sullen and pouty beside him “And I was really trying too.”
“No winners, but no losers either,” I said. “Unless you wanna count second and third.”
He shook his head, bright golden locks flowing with pride. “It’s first place or no place at all. Damn, there goes my plan for revenge. Oh well, always next time right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded back. “‘Till next time.”
“It’s been good!” He called out and waved from a distance, hauled away into the crowd by the armlock of his date. “Merry Christmas, man!”
Merry Christmas, Leon.
Adalia was still quiet, unmoving like a sculpted statue of ice erected in place. I wanted to say something to her, poke her, try to stir her, but with the outcome presented to us, I haven’t a single clue how exactly to go about that just yet.
And before I could even come up with any grand plan, I heard a chorus of leather boots plowing loudly across the snow creeping closer to us, before abruptly coming to a stop all at once, or rather, if my ears weren’t deceiving me… all as three.
“I’m not sure what’s worse, actually,” Blue said, her teasing expression leading the others. “That you participated expecting to win, or having the audacity to participate and not winning at all.”
“Power of love is always gonna beat the power of friendship,” Green shrugged, threading between the lines of apathy and sympathy. “That’s just the way the world works.”
“But you did your best…” Red offered in a kinder tone. “That’s all that matters…”
I just nodded to everything they said, hoping they’d go away as soon as possible.
“But hey, just think—if you had come here with Irene on the other hand…” Blue’s lips twitched to a not-so-subtle smirk. “Trust me, a marriage proposal wouldn’t have stopped her from being the one on stage with you.”
“Ain’t even a contest,” Green agreed.
“Your love would have been the greatest…” Red remarked.
“Girls!” I spoke up, blinking once at all three of their smiling faces. “Please. Not now.”
The playful expression on Blue’s face slowly began to ebb, her gaze stiffening, upon catching a brief glance at Adalia beside me.
“A-Anyway, we oughta really go now,” She declared, her tone swiftly changing, and the other girls quickly changing on. “Did our jobs here. Time to do our jobs elsewhere.”
“See ya, Boyfriend!”
“Goodbye…”
Green and red said, following in Blue’s stride as she turned the opposite way.
“And where are you going, exactly?” I asked.
“Don’t know,” the bluest one in the middle of the pack said. “Maybe bother the detective for a bit. There’s always a debriefing after every operation, right? I’m sure she’d love to know exactly what we have to report.”
Quiet filled the ambiance again. At least to an extent. Even with all the commotions and happenings of everything everywhere else, somehow it was the utter lack of noise that was the loudest of them all.
And knowing the futility of it, I went and tried to speak over it.
“Adalia,” I whispered, barely even hearing my own voice. “Are you okay?”
A single blink, a sign of life.
“We… did not… win…”
I nodded glumly. “No, we didn’t.”
“Why…?”
“Why?”
“Yes…” She blinked at me again. “Why…?”
Oh, what, uh… I gotta say, I really didn’t see this coming. Was she being serious? Duh, of course she’s being serious. She wouldn’t be asking if she wasn’t.
“I love you… more… I know I… love you more… I answered… every question… I did my best… in every game… my sister helped… too…” Adalia slanted her head, not out of any kind of frustration, but of genuine confusion. “So why… didn’t we… win…?”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” I began creating space between us and the stage, slowly shambling someplace quieter. “Like I said before, just because we didn’t win doesn’t mean we don’t care for each other any less. It’s just a game.”
“I… understand… that…”
“Then why—?”
“Because I… still wanted to win… it was my wish… to win…” She slowly turned her gaze to a nearby swarm of merry folks, where in the middle, stood Matthew and Kim as the center of everyone’s attention. Adalia stared at them, the same fixated way she did watching them as they appeared onstage. “Tell me… how did they… win… what did they… do…?”
Girl had x-ray vision of the heart for eyes, and she seriously can’t see the silver band shimmering around that girl’s finger?
“It’s not a question of skills or efforts, Adalia,” I said, throwing one last glance at the recently betrothed couple, before turning us into a secluded direction where there were no glaring, shimmering reminders of my failure. “Those two, it wouldn’t be right if they didn’t get the win. He proposed to her in the middle of everything. As far as the public’s concern, that’s an instant win.”
“The… proposal…” She muttered, slowly pulling up her hat from wooling itself over her eyes. “That is… the only… reason…?”
“Pretty much.”
“Even if… we earned… the most points..?”
“Points don’t really matter all that much when up against the ultimate symbol of true love.”
Adalia went quiet again after that. And for a long stretch of the snow-paved path, she just followed along in the pace of my footsteps with colored bulbs of light illuminating the darkness around us.
Glowing red, blue, and in a turn of phrase… Adalia raised her head again, her gaze momentarily flushed in the light of envy.
“So if… you were to propose… to me… too…” She whispered slowly. “Would we… have won… instead…?”
It was a chilly, humid night. In spite of that thought, I don’t think my throat has felt any drier.
“Ultimate symbol of love,” I said, maintaining composure. “If between them or us… then, yeah… we probably would have won.”
“Ultimate… symbol… of love…” She repeated, the lights around us lingering green longer than any other color for some strange reason. “...marriage…”
Oh, this was going to go where I think it was going to go, wasn’t it?
Adalia blinked, the lights flickered, and all that remained was the stark silver swirl deep in her gaze.
“So if… you love me… truly…” She slowly asked. “Will you also… propose to me… too… one day?”
If I had a dollar for every instance. If I had one dollar every time… I swear…
Another blink, and a twinkle in her eyes appeared.
.....
“I think… I would like… to change… my wish…”
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