762 The Cheating Suave
“Hey there.”
“Hi.”
“Seat’s free here, it seems. Lucky me.”
“Mmm, that remains to be seen. My name’s Kelly by the way. So are you just fine with Mr. Seven or…?”
“Chester’s fine if you don’t mind.”
“Chester?” Kelly let out a little snort, her lips twitching in amusement which she tried to hide behind her clipboard. “You don’t really look like a Chester.”
“No?” I smiled, I chuckled, letting her know I agreed, that I understood. “Yeah, I get that a lot. Rest assured though, I’m a Chester through and through.
I huddled closer forward, the legs of my chair plowing the snow below… focusing only forward, only on her, the pink blush in her cheeks, the ribbon in her hair, letting my rising interest completely show for her eyes to see.
“So, Kelly, was it?” I inquired, initiated, too aware of every precious second ticking down. “Lovely name by the way.”
.....
“Ooo, a compliment,” She nodded her head, giving the top of her clipboard a thinking tappity-tap. “Basic, easy… but overall quite safe. Well done. I don’t hate you just yet. What else do you got?”
“A question this time,” I responded, keeping my cool. “Back in the first round, when I was put up for display, seven of you girls voted for me. Hate to be blunt, but you weren’t among those seven. Mind if I ask why? Is it the cloak? It’s the cloak, isn’t it?”
Kelly leaned back into her seat, both pen and board resting atop her lap.
“I was thinking that I just didn’t find you attractive then. That’s all. Nothing personal.”
“Yep, it’s the cloak.”
“If you say so.”
“Or perhaps you just needed a closer look at me, is all.” I suggested. “You think so?”
“My, humble, aren’t we?”
“I try to be.”
The ends of her lips twitched again, and I noticed her leaning a little closer subtly, unconsciously.
Over to the table on our left, from what little I could discern, was in a lively conversation about one another’s interests and likes. To our right, laughter erupted, a joke was told. And right behind me, I could hear the deafening silence of some poor guy’s total shyness.
Aside from that, everywhere was rife with chatter. Guys feigning confidence with a smile while their heart rates steadily climb. And the girls hearing their every word, seeing their every move, ink and paper any second at the ready to pass over their judgment.
Right now Kelly here was both my judge and jury, and here I sat as both defendant and defender imploring my appeal to her.
“You got quite the demeanor. So confident,” She remarked, squinting bemused. “Hard to believe you were that same meek sheep standing back there like a little lost boy just a few minutes ago.”
“Crowds,” I admitted, sighing. “I never liked drawing attention, hate it actually. Maybe that’s why I don’t have many friends, I just clamp up, y’know? Really, I only ever open up around the people I feel really comfortable around.”
“Oh?” She raised a brow. “What does that mean for me then, I wonder?”
I smirked. “Talking to you just fine, aren’t I?”
“Ooo,” Kelly didn’t bother hiding or stifling her smile this time. “Now that’s a good one.”
“One minute and thirty seconds!” bellowed the familiar voice of the elf-attendant in the distance. “Halfway done with your first three minutes!”
Briefly, I felt my focus drift. My head was ticking like it was primed to blow. A minute and thirty seconds to imminent failure, and all I had were my wit and charm to try and defuse the crisis.
“Looks like we’re nearly done here,” Kelly said almost tauntingly. “Are you worried, Chester?”
“You tell me, Kelly,” My shoulders lift to a shrug. “Should I be?”
“Ah, well, who can say?”
“Honestly, I feel three minutes is seriously cutting it close. I barely even got to know you… hell, I don’t even know your favorite color.”
“Still not too late to ask.”
“Pink,” I said, pointing at the bow on her head. “Got a good feeling there.”
Kelly shook her head.
“Black,” She answered, her stare inching closer even more. “Like your eyes. I always liked that particular shade.”
I blinked, but didn’t break away from her gaze. The Chester within me pondered for a moment, perusing for more opportunities to flatter in the little time still remaining.
“Thirty seconds left,” I whispered, ultimately coming up with nothing. “And all I know about you is that you like my eyes.”
“I like black,” She corrected me.
“In that case, you won’t mind if I just look away, then?”
“Well, you’re a clever Chester,” Kelly said. “You really think that’s a good idea?”
Yep, she likes my eyes, alright.
“A staring contest it is then…” I complied. “Not how I imagined ending this, but… hey…” I straightened my stare, gazing deeply into the bright lustrous green of her gaze. “I like your eyes too.”
“Ten seconds!” cried the elf in the background.
And as I counted the dwindling digits in my head, I noticed Kelly’s smirk had taken on a more prominent shape of amusement.
“Something on your mind?” I asked.
“Just thinking,” She quietly replied, the final few seconds ushered to a close with her words. “Maybe I should have raised my hand for you, after all.”
I did it. I knew it. It worked. It actually worked. Chester the Suave strikes again.
One point up. Fourteen more to go.
Super.
“Time’s up, boys!” loudly declared the elf, sprinting fast and carrying her words from one end of the tent to the next. “Enough chit-chat! Get up, get up! Save it for the next table! It’s time to switch seats!”
Joining the grating choirs of creaking chairs, I stood up to my feet, shuffling to the side and scanning the transitioning crowd for the nearest available table.
“Oh, and for the record, Chester,” Kelly chimed up. I briefly looked back at her, still grinning in her seat and hastily scribbling away at the top of her board. “I think your cloak looks pretty good on you. I like it.”
Hmm, would you look at that, now I can’t tell who’s actually trying to win over who.
“Careful there,” I warned her. “Don’t go falling for me now.”
And to that, she merely gave a fully warranted roll of the eyes.
“I’ll try not to.”
Before I knew it, I was being drifted along the raging rapids of shuffling feet, and a second later I was sent ashore on a completely different table, facing a completely different set of looks, personality, and mood.
Anyway, Melissa was her name.
This went on for a while, with my Chester persona acting as my surprisingly reliable sword and shield in the field, and believe you me, if not for participating in Mom’s sappy rom-com binges and racking up some practical experience of my own, I don’t think I’d be able to pull off the lines and gestures I was putting on for show.
Didn’t always work out as I had hoped, unfortunately. At times, I spend my precious three minutes going absolutely nowhere with my table. But I heavily suspect, I was earning significantly more than I was losing.
Despite what I presumed at first, you don’t actually get to pick which table you’d like to be in next. Instead every three minutes, it felt like we were then briefly thrust into another game entirely of a warped version of musical chairs trying to find a table as quick as possible.
So even if I did have an eye set on one particular table, it was really up to luck if I manage to reach there in the coming three minutes, or the next fifteen instead.
Every switch of seats, I’d momentarily pause to get a lay of the land, see how everyone else was faring, and without fail, every time I’d see Leon leave his seat, his partner across from him would pretty much be nothing more than a mush of emotion melted in their seat.
Chester might be suave, but Leon was just downright scary.
Finally, sometime after the halfway point of the game, after a blur of repeated compliments, jokes and cheek muscles strained from half-formed smirks, I found myself seated directly across from the person I had aimed to sit with since I first laid my eyes on her.
And clearly seeing the delight in her eyes, the glee in her smile, the eager rapping of her pen against the surface of her clipboard, it was loud and clear she had been waiting for this moment too.
The three minutes commenced, and I barely took in a breath, barely formed a thought, when she suddenly spoke.
“So what are your thoughts on infidelity?”
Welp, a great start already.
I cleared my throat. “Hayley…”
“Just saying, just wondering out loud here,” She spoke over me. “But I wouldn’t dare keep any employees involved in such depraved transgressions. Unfaithfulness really, really gets my gears grinding, you know?”
Oh, don’t I know it, alright…
“But hey, that’s just me, just thinking out loud,” Hayley flashed her sweetest smile, setting both hands flat down on the table. “Anyway, we’re supposed to be playing a game right? You’re supposed to be winning me over, yes?”
“Listen…”
“Go on ahead, Chester,” She nodded, leaning that sweet, terrifying smile of hers closer. “Win me over.”
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