738 Reluctant Teacher
The next expression Irene would make, the subtlest twitch in her brow, the next shape her lips would curl to, now pretty much determined the path my whole life would alter to henceforth.
Exaggerating a little bit, but yeah… being able to actually proficiently use the powerful abilities I’ve inherited is kind of a big deal to start rippling into other aspects of my life if you really stop to think about it.
And it’s a lengthy discussion I’ve had with myself in silence too many times to count now, the preceding months before all the way to the present moment now, this has been stewing in the back of my head for the longest time… but it was only until Amelia voiced this notion herself, hearing it come from her of all people… something about it just had me digging it back up to the forefront of my thoughts again.
Despite knowing I had the potential and ability to pretty much ruin the entire career of real-world magicians, magic was only something that I had the slightest interest in.
Sure it was convenient closing the door on its own while you’re ten feet away comfy in bed, or getting yourself a sneaky edge in some lighthearted competitions… doing anything beyond that, I never really thought about it too much unless current circumstances required me to do so.
That’s how it was when the Blight fell, same story again dismantling Mom’s fleshy, sentient barrier around the house. And really, if I never have to exert myself like that again, that’d be the happiest happily ever after for me.
Because I never wanted to do that, I’ve no interest in dabbling in the mystical aspects of my life. The everyday, the mundane, I’ll be more than happy if things just stayed this way forever.
But alas, there’s no use trying to reintegrate myself back to the daily, normal struggles of yesteryear when I’m a completely different person from the daily, normal guy I was in the past.
So yeah, maybe absolute power was a major turn off for me, but that didn’t mean I have turned away from it completely.
.....
Just the basics, just the necessities, ever the case there comes a time where I simply had no other choice but to exert myself once more.
And, woe of me to agree with Amelia’s views, but who else better to play teacher to my inexperience than the adopted daughter of an Ancient Magus herself?
Irene, please say yes.
Those piercing hazel eyes of hers, occasionally endearing, oftentimes piercing… slowly grew tenfold towards the latter.
“Where did this come from?” She asked quietly, setting her flat down against the counter. “Is this because of the graffiti trend? I told you there’s nothing to worry about yet.”
I hastened to my defense. “No, relax, I just thought… it only makes sense, doesn’t it? No point in having any powers if I don’t know how to use them anyway.”
“I was under the impression you didn’t want to use them.”
“I don’t. But wouldn’t it be better if I knew how to…”
“Better safe than sorry, yes, I get it,” She spoke over me. “And it’s hard to argue against that point, since, like you said… it only makes the most sense for you to learn how.”
“Yeah, exactly,” I said, a little surprised she actually saw eye-to-eye with me. “So…?”
“Well, you can call me stupid, senseless, selfish,” Irene slowly began stirring her cup, hiding herself in the foamy, frothy surface of her drink. “But a part of me really doesn’t want to agree to this.”
Right then, again, the jingle of the front door opening, the hearty laughter of a group of customers coming in forcibly ejecting me out in the middle of the discussion to walk away and tend to their needs instead.
The timing…
It was after ten painstaking minutes of recommendations and indecision that I finally managed to make it back to my station with a full list of orders.
Five drinks. Five vastly different methods of preparing them all, and five selections of cakes to go along with them. This should be fun.
“I don’t have a very good reason to be against it to be honest,” Irene said, taking another break in her scribbling. “Nonetheless, it is still a reason.”
I gave a grunt, too busy juggling between ingredients to get even a single word out.
“You see, the last time there was someone with similar abilities to yours, my entire world got destroyed.”
“Irene…” I slowly whirled back around at her, the back of my hands dribbling with spilled milk. “You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”
“Of course not,” She said with an earnest look. “But that’s just the thing. Unlike the rest of us, your powers work better entwined with your emotions, negative emotions. Anger, chaos, destruction. Like Terestra. Sure, practice and discipline will definitely get you somewhere. But to excel, to really excel… would mean succumbing yourself to these emotions again and again.”
Believe me, it was the hardest thing listening and pouring while doing my best to avoid spilling. I could feel my momentum slow, my efficiency diminish as I took in every word of her reason.
“Remember Ria, the things you did to her? Remember Subjugation? What you had to force yourself to do to the Elf? The things you have to feel in order to even pull it all off? Hatred, destruction, again and again… can you really indulge these emotions without it also having alter how you think? How you are now? Think about it.”
“That’s not what I’m asking to do,” I said, fumbling around, half-distracted, searching for condiments. “Nothing to that extent. Just the basics, the simple stuff, in case the situation ever requires me to…”
“And if the situation ever requires you to do more?” She interjected, the both of us pausing, the both of us staring, the concern brimming her eyes more palpable than ever. “Do you think you’ll be able to do more? If you can tell me confidently that it won’t affect you in the slightest, then tell me, I’ll believe you. But just consider it carefully, alright?”
I was spared from responding right away by one of the newly-arrived patrons hailing for my attention, wondering they’re drinks had gone. Quickly, I scurried off toward their table, brimming tall cups quivering in a tray atop my hands, serving them accordingly and apologizing for my punctuality… all the while, in my head, all I was hearing was Irene.
Y’know, I never really thought about that point of view before, this dark perspective of me knowing more. No, it was only her that had been thinking about this, to be thinking about me, worrying about me, to this extent.
All the more reason she was absolutely perfect for the job.
I went back to behind the counter, and Irene visibly tensed upon seeing my return, her stack of paperwork shifted far aside and disregarded, her undivided attention now fully toward me.
“Well?” She asked, batting her eyes once. “Can you?”
“No,” I admitted. “No, that’s not something I can wholeheartedly guarantee.”
“Okay…” She nodded rigidly. “So that means you’re not going to…?”
“I still want to learn anyway,” I said, much to her dismay and worry. “I considered it, I thought about it, just like you said I should.”
“In a thirty second walk from here to there?”
“I decided it’s well worth the risk,” I continued on. “If it means I’ll be able to protect you and everyone else somewhat then it’s not even a question. I want to learn.”
“You realize that goes both ways, don’t you?” Irene furrowed her brow. “I want to protect you just as much as you want to protect us.”
“So why not meet me halfway?” I said, leaning against the counter, inching closer. “You teach me how to protect you, while protecting me from myself. Everyone wins.”
There she went, withdrawing into silence, that brilliant mind of hers working its wonders and rifling through the prospect at every conceivable angle. Quietly, she stirred her drink, creased the edges of one of her documents, maintaining this hard, precarious expression that had her lips reclusing into itself.
“And if you’re really truly not feeling up for it,” I added on. “I suppose I can always ask someone else to teach me.”
“Oh, by the Divines…” She said slowly, baffled. “Jealousy? Is that really the ace up your sleeve to try and convince me? Not reasons, not explanations. Jealousy? Really?”
“If it works, it works,” I said. “So,” I shrugged. “Does it work?”
She glared, she heaved, the look in her eyes a blend of both the former and the latter.
“You win,” She took her pen back up, swiping and slamming a paper in front of her at random. “I’ll teach.”
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