Chapter 708: A Found Happiness
Mrs. Collins stepped away from the computer, leaving everything as it were before she had gone deep-diving for any juicy finds, which meant that she was plenty satisfied with all she had perused... a radiating look on her face, like she had just struck gold.
And what gold it was indeed.
That image embedded in memory, I tried to imagine to myself what it would be like if that drawing was more than just a drawing.
In my mind, I was deep in an expansive greenscape, blue skies shining, sunflowers swaying, and I slowly got down onto one knee, then from out of my pocket I pulled out that small little box that signified my love forever and hereafter-and Amanda was there, overwhelmed with a happiness that my mind couldn’t quite capture, and tears were welling in her hazel eyes, laughing a laughter hopelessly lost of all composure.
Seeing such a scene in such vivid, albeit imaginary details filled me with all kinds of emotions. I’ve seen Amanda drawing these kinds of things before, I specifically remembered the one she had with us in front of the altar, and while flattering, I’ve never thought much of it before... until this one... this one really had me thinking, contemplating.
Any other time perhaps, I’d probably wouldn’t have given it this much though. But with her mother being right here with me, the suggestion, the very notion of it... marriage... it all just felt more... real. And I seriously don’t know whether to be happy or mortified.
“Oh, you, you, you...” Mrs. Collins turned to face me, half-amused, half-confused. “Just what have you done to my daughter?”
.....
And now, I’m confused. I blinked once. “I, uh...”
“Her first love, and she’s this infatuated... I’ve never seen this side of her before, not once for all I’ve known her,” She continued to stare with even greater bewilderment. “You must have done something, anything... if she’s at the point where you’re all she thinks about. Even the way she stares at you, talks about you, she’s so... happy.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” I asked.
“Absolutely not,” She said. “But it is quite a ‘thing’ indeed.”
‘Because it’s me?”
“Because I’ve never seen her this happy,” She moved to the sofa, plopping herself down the same way Amanda always does, with both legs curled off the ground and her hands resting on her lap. “She never does happy, you know? Never usually. Cheery, yes. LIvely, sure. But happy was something that she very rarely does.”
This was something I knew too. The last time I was here, once upon a time ago, Amanda told me how she used to feel on the very same couch there. How everything just felt so tiring, dreary and pointless... up until the point I came into her life.
I remembered finding it hard to imagine such a side to her usual lovely smile... and even now, try as I might, it’s only gotten even harder to visualize.
“Amanda already told you this before, hasn’t she?” Mrs. Collins cocked her head, then just like her psychic of a daughter, answered the question I haven’t yet spoke. “It’s the look in your eyes. You don’t look the slightest surprised.”
“Would have hugged her for the entire night if she hadn’t stopped,” I said, nodding. “I’m guessing she told you too?”
“She doesn’t have to tell me things for me to know things, you know?” She said with a tinge of pride in her voice. “When she was still in high school, she was always the top of her class, the star pupil of her numerous clubs, everybody always says she was ambitious, smart... but I knew deep down that she was just doing all that to keep herself from feeling bored.”
Before I knew it, I found myself sitting on the other end of the sofa across from her. Every other thought, every other wonder fading from my mind... for the time being, I wanted to just listen... to hear more about this side of Amanda that I didn’t know.
“It’s in the way she just talks about her days, her activities, you see...” Mrs. Collins went on. “Usually if you enjoy something, how would you typically tell someone about it? You’ll give them examples why, share moments you find especially interesting to you, in short, you’d be describing. But Amanda never did that. Summarizing was more her specialty. Her day was always ‘alright’, things were always ‘just fine’... and nothing she did ever wound up being more than that. And that’s how she kept functioning all the way to college. Living her life as if she just had to, as opposed to simply wanting to.”
Her gaze slowly began to drift away from mine, veering instead toward the empty air in front of her, caught immersed in the sight and sound of a distant past.
“I didn’t want that mindset for her-I mean, what parent would? I tried thinking of things that she might possibly find enjoyment in. I’m the one that suggested she tried her hand at drawing and, well... as you can see, she took it more than I could ever imagine. But like everything else before, it was more a hobby than a passion to her. I think the closest she’s ever got to actually enjoying something in life was when she got that video game about magic or something, I think it’s called Aster-Astra-something? I don’t really remember the name.
“And for a while she seemed content... but eventually even that feeling faded. Meanwhile, I thought I might have found the next logical step. She’s twenty-one, in college, at the ripe age where long-lasting relationships tend to blossom. So I asked her one day why doesn’t she try looking for someone she could share her time with, someone who could be more than just a friend to her... and she told me, and I quote, ‘I can’t see myself doing that, nope. Having a boyfriend just seems like a hassle. Yeah, sorry mom, can’t be bothered.”
I’d have probably laughed at that if I weren’t so unsure of how to properly react. Mrs. Collins paused to smile, glancing right at me as if I was the punchline to the longest joke set-up in history.
“For the longest time, she kept true to that sentiment. Establishing all kinds of new relationships, but always ones she kept at an arm’s length, never any closer, and along the way trying a bunch of brand new things too... acting, cosplaying, and more recently, live streaming... still so ambitious, still so diligent... and still so numbingly bored with it all. I was beginning to believe that this was all life would ever amount to for her, and that this was her fate. To be the kindest, smartest girl in the whole wide world... but never, ever the happiest.”
Slowly again, her words trailed off to better form a more vibrant expression to show on her face, and once again, I found myself subjected to that same amused, mystified look in her eyes.
“Then one day, completely out of nowhere, during one of our video calls... Amanda began describing to me how her day went that day, how she burnt her toast for breaking that morning, moaning long and frustratingly about how expensive gas prices just keeps getting. I asked her how she was coming along with her studies, and I had to stop her myself after ten minutes because she just kept going on and on.
“Her days had stopped being ‘just alright’, her things stopped being ‘just fine’, I never could quite figure out what caused this change in her behavior. I thought long and hard, asked and probed as much as I could... until one day I just decided to watch one of her streams on a whim, and that was when I finally found out the cause... that somewhere along the way, in all the monotony and tedium of life, she met you.”
Mrs. Collins had turned quiet, pensive... a stark contrast to the flippant, cheeky woman that had been sitting across from me at the dinner table. I realized then that I haven’t spoken a word in a while, and the continued silence made me feel obligated to say something, if only anything...
“I rather not take all that credit for doing that...” I told her.
“No, I get it,” She nodded in understanding. “It’s a bit bewildering to think you can have that kind of effect on a person. I know it’s only natural for you to think you haven’t done much at all, and maybe you’re right, maybe you haven’t... but to her... to Amanda at the very least... that was all she needed from you.”
“And the rest is simply history, huh?” I said, staring around at the room, at present time. “Now here I am, doing my damndest to prove my worth to her parents, hoping they’d come to see me the same way that she does.”
She scoffed at that, scoffed at me.
“Before you, I wouldn’t know how my daughter sounded when she truly wanted to talk to me about something. I wouldn’t be aware how easily she could laugh at things or even how frequently she does. And you made that happen. As far as I’m concerned, dear boy... you are more than I could have ever even hoped for.”
Then, in a way that only a mother could, she reached out and placed her hand over mine, smiling back at me as she had countless times before, only now with a look of gratitude I never realized had been always present.
“I don’t know what it is about you that’s so striking, or how you came to be what you are to her... but you’re exactly what she needed, wanted... and for that I have to thank you... thank you for loving her, for being her... and most importantly... thank you for finally making my daughter happy.”
Seeing that, hearing that, for once, I didn’t feel like denying it like I usually would.
“And even more,” I said. “I want to give her even more reasons to be happy. After all she’s done for me, that’s all I want for her.”
We shared another silent look with one another, and after everything said and done, the way she stared, the way she smiled... suddenly, I no longer felt like a stranger barging into another stranger’s home.
Mrs. Collins lifted her hand off mine, and with a shift in her glance, I was back to dealing with more than just a kindly mother.
“Not too happy, though,” She playfully warned. “Do any more with her, and who knows what she’d start drawing next?”
Great, there’s the awkwardness that was missing. I knew something felt off.
“Speaking of which,” She continued on. “In what ways have you made her happy exactly?”
Oh, Amanda. I’m begging you, please come back soon.
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