Chapter 656: Actions And Reactions
My search for Sera has led me out of the woods, emerging far out on the other side of the park.
For some reason, I felt like this was the right way to her... a gut feeling maybe, a natural instinct... or perhaps I was merely compelled to follow the faint tinkling of a rusty collar bell.
Mrs. White seemed to understand what or who I was looking for exactly. While I was calling Sera’s name, her meows sounded like responses, and when I peering high and fucking low, her slight head tilts at me looked like gestures. But it took her suddenly dashing between my legs before I finally listened and followed after her.
Here, on the other side, the park didn’t look as festive and merry when compared to its former half, not as many lights blinking and shining, no streamers hanging from lamppost to lamppost, just stray pieces of Christmas decorations scattered about that the wind managed to make away with – so barren and empty with barely a soul in sight. Hell, it was almost sad.
Almost like the neglected, overshadowed sibling of centralized public parks or something.
Then again, I suppose it’d be kinda impossible to set up enough venues and events in a place the size of an entire neighborhood block... so I suppose I can cut the mob-man some slack here.
I realize it’s been quite a long time since I ventured this deep into the place, and recalling past experiences, past happenings... the fact that I felt clammy and dour just being here wasn’t lost on me as to why.
.....
The last time I was this deep in, the entire was much more barren and lonelier than this, the black of Blightfall casting the world to a grimmer shade of night.
I could still almost feel the precariousness of every second I felt back then, the numbing in my hands from throwing an endless amount of tennis balls, and the slight weight against my arms... laying a cold, lifeless Mrs. White to rest.
Or so I thought, at least.
Now here I was trailing along every swish and flick of her bushy white tail, her tiny paws scurrying energetically against the winding path. Like usual, like normal, like before... it was seriously amazing how deceptive reality can be to the eyes, how easy it was for the mind to quickly forget the truth when presented with such a nice lie... and it’s scary how every passing second she just looks more alive.
Soon and sure enough, I finally caught that glimpse of violet I was looking for... way off over yonder kneeling beside a shallow pond and amidst a small patch of flowers, Sera looked like a weird purple lump sprouting out from the earth.
The heck was she doing there, and why so far? Well, I’m about to find out why in a second.
Mrs. White beat me to her by a huge margin, quickly scampering off to the pitch-black underside of her cloak, alerting her to my presence... lifting her cowl and her golden eyes up towards me.
Though I didn’t really care about it as much anymore, I still had to get my words in, “You kept me waiting, y’know that right?”
No movements, no sounds, nothing but a single blink. Not the least bit remorseful even, rude...
Again, not that I cared anymore, but...
I shrugged my shoulders at her. “So what kept you?”
That did the trick. Pushed the right button to stir to life this mute animatronic. Sera whirled around towards the flower patch, sifting through its swaying stalks, and scooped up something into her baggy sleeves, before turning around again and presenting it out towards me.
For a second, I wasn’t sure exactly what I was looking at... small little bits in various shapes and sizes caked in soil and loose grass. But it was the big red round thing rolling around her sleeved palm that finally gave it away.
They were Christmas ornaments.
Yeah, I could see it now. Grimy angel wings there, a reindeer with a missing antler here, a trio of candy canes in the middle of it all... suffice it to say, she had quite the collection.
Then that’s when it clicked.
“You wanted to come back to the park so you can decorate the new tree with these ornaments?”
As I was saying it, the picture was already forming in my head. I can just imagine her picking up and stashing every single trinket she happens to stumble across like some kind of humanoid Christmas-themed magpie. It was quite a funny sight to imagine.
Quite a lonely sight too...
Sera silently nodded her head, glancing down fondly at her hoard. I won’t lie, it was a little endearing seeing her enthused over something other than some dead carcass’s innards. Why Christmas of all things, though... I’ve no idea. But like hell, I was gonna discourage it.
“Take ’em then,” I told her. “But you do know the tree’s coming with its decoration pieces, right? You didn’t have to...” I trailed away there. New, old, didn’t matter, because sentimentality trumps over new anytime and I think she’s grown mighty attached to her finds. “Well, a single-antlered reindeer can be quite eye-catching, I guess.”
She made a quiet squeak that seemed to agree, and agreeing up the rest of her ornaments, slowly rose up to her feet, ready at once to depart, but I couldn’t. I was rooted to the spot, like the soles of my shoes were hooked to the earth and just simply refused to unlatch... and it’s no mystery as to why.
Because, all this while I’ve been talking, I can still hear that soft tinkling.
“Wait a sec, Sera.”
Sera had already drifted out of the flower field by this point, and was a few meters away when I called for her. She silently spun around, soundless, motionless again... responding with nothing but a single blink.
“There’s something I gotta ask first,” I said, glancing briefly at the hem of her cloak loosely crumpled against the dirt. “And I really hope you’ll understand where I’m coming from...”
Almost as if sensing the tension in the air, a curious pink nose began poking out at the bottom of her cloak and sniffing the air tentatively. The number of times I’ve seen her do that exact same thing in the past... when she passed, I never thought I’d see her do that act of curiosity ever again.
But right now, I never want to see her do it again.
“That cat... that neplim you revived. I told you before that she was a friend of mine, right? And I also told you before that I did not like what you’re doing to her, remember?” I shuffled a bit, turning the small angle to directly face her forward. “Well, I still don’t like what you’re doing to her. Just thought I should point that out there.”
Sera blinked. If only she growled, if only her eyes flickered. It was much harder to know what she was thinking with all the nothing she was displaying here.
“I know you’re more at ease around the dead, that this is normal for you. But, y’know, just consider. I laid that cat to rest with my own two hands, felt her limp body sag between my arms-and now you made her walk, meow, and all I can think is that you’re making her do all these things she usually does by pulling at her body with puppet strings. It’s disturbing.”
A sigh. I think I heard anyway. Might have been the wind, might have been my imagination. In any case, I heard her sigh.
“You didn’t listen to me before when I told you to stop disturbing her rest,” I warily continued on. “I’d like to ask you the same question again. I’d like for your answer to be different. Before you growl, before you disagree... just, again... please consider my point of view here.”
Mrs. White slowly crawled out from her hidey-hole, veering her blank eyes between the two of us as if wondering herself what was going on here, and I agree... what was going on here?
Am I hearing myself right? Did I ask her to consider?
Did I consider?
Suddenly, in my head, my own subconscious was playing devil’s advocate. What about her? Was I considering her?
I was the one that brought her here, wasn’t I? Whisked her away into this strange new world, leaving her to her own devices, agreed on keeping her confined to this park. I left her alone without a second thought, rarely ever meeting her unless I needed something. Ash was her only source of solace here, but even she couldn’t be with her forever.
This reclusive young woman, born never knowing the warmth of a loved one, spent her entire childhood trying to find it wandering the dense forests together hand-in-hand with shambling corpses... then when she finally did find someone willing to care for her, shelter her, love her even... that was quickly taken away too.
Now obviously, naturally, she was a bonafide loner regardless... favoring the silence and solitude over the loud and rowdy. Yes, she’s a loner, but she doesn’t like being alone.
Hence, the corpses. Hence, her pet. Hence, her friendship with Ash.
Hence, Mrs. White.
All this time, Sera felt alone here.
Did I consider that?
“You...” I sputtered out, sighing, and feeling a trickling of shame washing down on me. “On second thought, you don’t have to-just... whenever you feel you’re ready then you can...”
Never more was I aware of how fast I was backtracking this whole thing. I felt stupid, ignorant... most of all inconsiderate. I was at loss for words, and trying my best to recover my composure, so much so, that I failed to notice what she was doing at that moment.
I didn’t see it, but I heard it-the dull sound of all of her ornaments thumping flat onto the dirt. I looked straight at her, and suddenly curled around her sleeves, Mrs. White was curiously rearing her head into her hood, sniffing, looking, her vacant eyes meeting her bright glow of gold.
From out of the blue, I felt a shift in the air, a chill down my neck that went beyond the winter cold, then slowly, gradually, White’s swishing tail began to go limp, her ears began to fold flat...
I blinked.
With seemingly the last of her strength, she tucked herself into a large white ball, her drooping eyes falling over towards me, and with a final tender squeak, White closed her eyes, and never opened them again.
A minute, two minutes, an eternity must have passed... I was still left reeling over what I have just seen. I didn’t know what to feel, I didn’t know what to think.
Then Sera began to slowly walk forward at me.
Instinct must have taken over. Suddenly, I saw my hands reaching out, I felt a familiar slight weight pressing against my arms. The tinkle of a bell. Cold. Clammy. It was just like this. Feeling her again, seeing her again. It was like that day all over again.
And just like before, Mrs. White never looked more at peace.
It’s like she was just sleeping.
Finally sleeping.
My eyes drifted over to the silent figure in front of me. Still motionless, still silent. Once again, she just blinked. And I couldn’t help at all but to wonder why.
“Why did you do that?”
Sera met my eyes. Huge, gleaming, and gold. I’ve never seen them in this way... this-this close... this warm. As always, I didn’t get a clear answer. No words, no noises. All I had to go off of were her actions.
That’s when I finally understood why.
Why she did as she did, and just what exactly her actions were trying to say.
Sera blinked again, and I finally heard her words.
“It’s not so lonely anymore.”
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