Chapter 589: Scrubbing The Dirt, Part
A normal shower usually takes me about five minutes tops, ten minutes if I wanted to be thorough.
Twenty minutes was a new high for me that I never thought I’d reach. I’ve been submerged and soaked for so long that the skin on my fingertips was starting to prune and wrinkle as if I’m skinny-dipping here in the fountain of un-youth.
But honestly, not a single drowning and sagging pore in my body felt like leaving. This was just supposed to be a quick refreshing bath, but having Adalia’s presence, the feel of her naked body resting against mine – was a serene feeling of tranquility I don’t think even zen monks have ever achieved... can’t blame me for not wanting to dry myself back to reality.
Yet despite that, there was any good without the bad, and in this case, the bad here was the simple irrefutable fact that I was practically acting like a player... and I don’t mean that in a good way.
How many of the girls have I just traded and exchanged in just the past two days alone?
It was hard to be intimate with one without acknowledging the prickling guilt of feeling like I was neglecting the rest... a troublesome thought that reached a culmination with the outing with Amanda just earlier today... and now here I was with Adalia, burying myself with the now soapy and flowery scent of her silver-gray hair, my hands tightly over her waist in a caressing embrace.
Where was Amanda’s embrace? Irene’s? Ash’s?
.....
Infidelity was... the most accurate term I could think of... but... I don’t really know if I should call it that... at any rate, it’s a touchy subject... one I’d rather not think about right now.
And speaking of touchy subjects I rather not bring up – Ash’s past, Eshlywn’s history was still a gigantic elephant in the tub. I mean, I’ve been telling myself it was about time to finally know, but... still... do I really wanna know what I really wanna know even?
I don’t know.
Anyway, speaking of pasts I never bothered much to ask...
“Hey, Adalia...” My voice reverberated in the quiet. “How was it like for you before... y’know... before you came here?”
Spotateinity was never one of my defining traits, and out-of-the-blue inquiries were never one of them either, and exhibiting them both two-for-one here, of course, Adalia’s sharp senses sensed something peculiar.
“Something... is bothering... you...” She asked, as always, hitting the nail on the head. “What is... it...?”
“Nothing worth knowing,” I muttered. “Just let me talk it out. Why don’t you tell me about what you were like before you met me.”
“What I was... like...” Her eyes closely peered at me from the sides, indifferent, if not a little curious. “I am... the same... as I was... before... I met you...”
“That so?”
“Maybe... I was... louder... faster...” She said, as a tip of her claw jutted ever so slightly out the water’s surface. “Before... my failed... transformation...”
“That’s right... you wanted to try being human, didn’t you? Or close to being one, anyway...” I recalled. “To cure your feeding condition.”
“Yes...” She slumped her head left on my chest. “Did not... work...”
“Do you ever miss your old self?” I glanced down at the top of her head. “The you before you tried turning human?”
“No...”
It took her quite a while to reply, and for such a long interval to contemplate, it was quite peculiar when that was all her input regarding it.
“How was it like for you anyway?” I asked. “When you realize the transformation has worn off?”
“It was... a long... time ago...” She shifted in place, and I had the vague sense she wasn’t too keen on talking about these kinds of things right here. “And they were not very... nice... days...”
So in my haste, I tried shifting topics.
“Y’know, come to think of it, how did we even go about meeting each other anyway?” I asked. “And by that I mean... how did you travel to this world from yours?”
Out of all the questions I’ve asked her, this one was the one that probably took the longest to hear an answer, and once she actually did relay one, hearing it, I almost forgot what the original question was about.
“By... killing...”
I felt my face stiffen. “Killing?”
“Humans... are not very nice... mostly... they do not help... other species... when asked...” She explained, just as bluntly, just as indifferently. “And they did not help... sister... and me... when we asked...”
“What did you do?” I inquired further, sounding as casual as I could.
“She refused... to make a portal... for my sister and me...” She continued. “So I killed her son... to convince her... to... listen...”
There was no malice, no hint of relish or pleasure in the tone of her voice... but even then hearing her sound so vacant admitting to this made my blood run just as cold even if she had.
“You’ve killed people.”
“I have killed... many people...” She clarified, replied, and then promptly reminded me. “I am... a Matriarch... after all...”
Right, of course, those pointed fangs, those sharp claws, the abilities, the senses she’s inherited... she’s a being born and bred for the singular purpose of being the perfect predator over many prey.
I’ve run dry of questions, and Adalia heard my abrupt silence, peering back up at me, batting her misty white eyes with an almost knowing stare.
“You did not... like that...”
“No, no, it’s not that, I...” I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to scrounge up the perfect escape. “Look, I am not going to judge you for it.”
“Why... not...?” She asked, her turn to inquiry, cocking her head to the side in wonder. “You do not like... killing... and I have killed... many of your kind...”
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
“That... doesn’t change... what I did...” She muttered, then in a heavy ripple and slosh, splashes of water spilling over the edge, Adalia spun herself facing toward me, with the front of her bare foam-cladded body resting on top of me. “You will still... absolve me... so easily...?”
“It’s complicated,” I said, straining hard concentrating my gaze only on her eyes and not letting it drift elsewhere. “Look, why are you pressing me hard on this all of a sudden?”
“Because... when Ash... asks you... the same question soon...” She blinked at me. “You need to be ready... with the right answer...”
After that, I did not have any trouble at all holding my gaze up directly at her. I could almost feel the cold chill of pure bafflement freeze my gaping expression solid.
“How did you...?”
“Your heart... beats very loudly... sometimes...” She quietly explained, placing one of her hands gently across my wet skin, the icy tip of one of her nails lightly pressing against my chest. “And when it does... I can... hear it beating... for her... I know... it’s for her...”
Twice today, I was caught busted thinking of another person while in the presence of another. Why do I just completely suck at being subtle?
“You are curious... about Ash...” Adalia continued to say, her swirling cloudy pupils seeing more than I ever will in my lifetime. “I can see it... in your eyes...”
“Like an open book, huh?” I sighed.
“Your concerns are... understandable...” spoke her voice in that same ethereal all-knowing tone. “You wish to see... only the good... in those that you love most... but your conscience... won’t let you excuse their... atrocious acts...”
Then, with a single blink, she made her most poignant observation yet, “You are... lost...” hitting the nail on the head until it was hammered flat. “You do not want... your love for her to diminish... once you do know... what you know...”
“It’s like I’m broadcasting my mind on the air,” I remarked, a smile forming for no particular reason. “Well?” I nudged. “What are your thoughts on it?”
Shattering a record, the silence after lingered the longest here than in any instance prior. Meanwhile, I stayed staring at her blank face, hearing as droplets dripped from the many ends of her locks, rippling the stagnant water beneath us.
“I think... if you really do love her...” She slowly muttered. “Then you will love... all of her...”
“That’s what I intend to do. But like you said, I’m worried that I...” I narrowed my lips. “As much as I want to, what if I won’t be able to look at her, touch her, or even love her the same way I always do?”
“I have killed many... people in cold blood... defenseless... helpless... people...” Adalia suddenly proclaimed, her soft voice firm and direct. “Now look... look at me... please...” She demanded. “Do I look... any different to you...?
I looked, finding nothing but the same gentle face staring back at me. “No...”
“Touch me...” She quietly pleaded, and I felt her tug my right hand to her left cheek. “Do I feel... any different now to you?”
Just the same, the same frigid cold of her skin, the same her as always.
“No...” I said again.
“I have killed many... people in cold blood... defenseless... helpless... people... just like you...” Adalia repeated herself, her face, her stare, drifting closer to mine, her fangs slightly showing as her pale lips quivered, as she asked quietly, disquietly, “Do you not... love me... any... more...?”
It wasn’t sense, it wasn’t my conscience I was considering and choosing for me right then. Hearing her words triggered something in me, like an impulse, a deep instinct, and I felt my arms enveloping her, more violent ripples splashing and spilling as I pulled her close and kept her close... hearing and feeling nothing, but the cold of her breath blowing faintly against my neck.
And that’s when I truly discover my answer as the tide fell back to a calm rest.
“Guess I can’t help myself...” I muttered, my voice muffled deep in the seams of her silky locks. “I will always love you no matter what.”
I could feel her body relaxing at the sound of my words, and I felt her arms slowly mirroring my embrace, and I could feel her lips brushing my skin, formally gradually into a smile as she whispered back, “And you will... still always... love her too...”
We stayed that way for a long, long while, and as far as my desires go, we may very well could have remained that way forever.
“Y’know, that’s mighty bold of you to offer yourself to the test first,” I said. “I mean... what if I had said no?”
“I would not... mind... if you had...” She replied, pressing her body tighter against me. “I will still love you... even if you... hated me...”
“I can never hate you, Adalia.”
“But you... should...” She retorted. “That being... said... I am very happy... that you don’t...”
“Because I realize you were wrong, you have changed,” I said. “You aren’t the same person that you were. I mean, just look...” I moved, I shuffled, feeling the pricks and pokes of her claws but never once feeling them pierce me. “You aren’t hurting me anymore, are you?”
Suddenly, I jumped, jolted, feeling as if a bolt of lightning had struck me deep. Then, my eyes blinking wide, I felt something warm ooze and trickle out the side of my neck.
Guess things haven’t changed that drastically after all.
I let out another sigh. “Ouch, Adalia.”
“Feeding... time...” She slurred, her lips smacking and slurping, as she burrowed her fangs deeper into my skin, her breath leaving her in short gaps of total bliss.
After a while, I felt her retract her fangs, before resting her head again beneath my chin, feeling her body growing limper and heavy against mine.
“Because of you... I have... changed...” She feebly muttered out, all sense of awareness slipping past her by the second. “Because... you... loved me... you... changed me...”
.....
“And so... because of you...” Adalia said, mustering the last of her strength before sleep reigned supreme and drifted her off into serene waters, slumbering on top of me. “Ash would have changed too...”
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