Chapter 491: Our Moment, Part 2 (R-18)
Left and right with growing exponential excitement, she continued to stroke her foot against the hard bulge in my pants.
I felt like a deer in headlights, the way I just froze stiff there. Because it was her, knowing that it was her, feeling it, I... I just couldn’t handle it.
Ash was always the paragon of elegance to me, a bright beacon of light, of grace, that I’ll always pale in comparison to. An unsullied beauty that knew no depravity.
Now, like a dream, a dream surely a million miles away from reality, here I was fondling her beautiful round breasts, pinching her hard nipples that were perking out between the slits in my fingers while I continued to throb and swell against the sole of her foot.
That’s when I realized that behind that elegance, her grace, hid another side to her, a more deviant, a more lecherous side that was now slowly seeping out to the surface... and I wanted to see more, more and more, this side kept buried all this while, I want to know more.
Her soft moans, her fast silent gasps ringing out her pleasure was a sound that’ll continue to make my heart skip a beat every time I hear it, her body twitching, shuddering from just my touch, I’ll never get used to it, used to this... and it was all for the better.
But with her newfound boldness, came also newfound uncertainty, confusion... inexperience.
.....
“Am I...? Does this bring you any semblance of pleasure, Master?” Ash swallowed, her lips refusing to completely seal close. “I’m afraid that I’ve... little experience or knowledge of things such as... such as this...”
“Mmm, yeah, it’s okay, you’re okay, you’re doing good, you’re making me feel good...” with a wavering breath I tried to say, taking my hands off her for a moment to remove my shirt, clumsily awkwardly, bumping elbows and nearly ripping the seams.
Then suddenly, pressing onto my skin – across my bare chest, all the way around my back – a warmness, a softness, and Ash held me in an embrace,
“Nevertheless, Master,” She said, a tender smile nestling against my collarbone. “With my body, with myself, I wish to pleasure you to my greatest extent.”
“Same here,” I said, embracing her back, feeling her body mold itself onto the shape of mine.
“Because I’m yours, I’ll always be yours and nobody else’s, never to any other, never.”
“Yeah...”
“Always... always and forever... truly, sincerely...”
There was something to her embrace, to her words, I felt it again – that something unknown, something mysterious – stronger now as her hold grew stronger too.
“I love you, Master,” her muffled voice clinging tight onto her embrace, and she wasn’t letting me go. “I really, truly do love you oh so much...”
I froze again, that feeling more prominent than ever, hearing more to her words than she probably meant to convey. “Ash...”
“I love you, I know I do...”
“Ash, what’s wrong?”
“And yet,” Her fingertips, I felt them dig, felt them hold tighter. “Why is it that those words sometimes not ring true in my heart any more?”
And then I realized this was it – her quiet as she tended to my wounds, her distance, and silence as she stood by over me all evening, what she’s left unsaid – this was that something.
“He is to blame, his infuriating words, his dastardly statements, entirely the reasons why I feel the way I am now, ” She whispered, and even without details, without elaboration, I knew instantly who. “I know, I know you say not to heed him, to disregard him, he only means to instill unrest, I know, but Master, I... what if he means right? I don’t want it to, but to consider...”
She buried herself deeper underneath my neck, I could feel her reluctance everywhere, the way she breathed, the way she held me, how she refused to look at me... everywhere.
“If it hadn’t been you that day, should it have been someone else to have found me then, a different person, a different face, yet just as kind, just as benevolent... I wonder, would I have fallen in love with them just as much as I did you?”
The moment she finished speaking those words, I could immediately sense the regret she felt ever having spoken them at all. She slumped her head onto me even more, it was like she was trying to bow, trying to apologize, only she couldn’t.
“My... My apologies, Master, I don’t mean to have tarnished this tender moment, this was the last thing I would have wanted for us now, but I just... it irks me too much this foolish notion of mine, this stupid idea he implanted in my head... to wonder, if it was truly you that I fell in love with, or merely the idea of you. It unnerves me, Master, it truly distresses me to think it so.”
Then came the utter shame washing over her, the sudden stillness of any movement. This close, this near, I could hear everything, feel everything, and the way she was now... it was as if she had stopped breathing.
A slight shift, and her head slanted downwards even more. “Are you... upset with me, Master? For even thinking this...” She swallowed. “I... I’m sorry... please don’t be upset with me, please...”
“I’m not Ash, don’t, I’m not upset, you didn’t upset me,” I said, hugging her, desperate to reassure, as earnestly as I could. “It’s okay, I understand... you don’t have to feel guilty for thinking that way, there’s nothing wrong with it.”
“Everything is wrong with it, Master. The very prospect of it, I despise it... that question, that wonder... and fearing to know the answer, whatever that answer may be...”
“Then stop fearing it alone, Ash,” I told her, pulling her away to meet with her gaze, looking deep in the glistening shimmer in her emerald eyes, trembling terribly, “Tell me, ask me again... let me answer it for you.”
Her grip on me quivered, as did the sound of her voice. “Are my feelings for you now... as sincere as I claim to be? or are they... after all... merely circumstantial? Would I have cared for anybody the same way? If it weren’t you? If you weren’t there! Would I have... would I have just as easily... fallen in love with anybody else instead? And if... had it been him instead that had found me that day, would I... would I have... as well...?”
She couldn’t finish, she didn’t want to finish. Her fingers on my back began to pinch, I think the thought alone must have terrified her, and I can’t blame her for it one bit. Just giving it a single second of consideration... hell, it terrified me as well.
But at the end of the day, that’s all it was – just a thought, a notion, not reality, not the present – and that’s all it’ll ever be. Besides, there’s just one thing she was forgetting here.
“But it wasn’t him that found you that day, Ash, was it?” I said quietly, lifting her fallen gaze with a hand across her cheek. “It wasn’t somebody else either. It was me, Ash... you fell in love with me.”
For a moment, she seems to search through my eyes, as if wanting to know what I could see that she wasn’t seeing.
“I... I know that Master, but what if – ”
“Yeah, what if, right?” I interjected, giving a slight, wryly, smile. “As if that’s what actually happened. But it didn’t happen, Ash, that’s not what happened. So why worry about something that never even came to be? I mean, alright, sure, maybe if I hadn’t been there that day, it’d be just like you said... maybe right now, right here... you’d be held in the arms of someone completely different, an entirely different Master that you’ll love right back. ”
At that, Ash’s eyes grew wide, terrified, and she instantly lunged herself at me again, nearly toppling me over, holding me even tighter than before, nearly suffocating, refusing to let go.
“I don’t want that...” She muttered. “I don’t want to think that...”
“But you’re not holding him right now, see? And he’s not the one holding you,” I wrapped my arms around her again, gently squeezing her and burying my face in her long white locks. “I am, Ash. I’m the one that’s holding you now and I’m the one that’s in love with you now.”
Ash said nothing, her arms continued to cling on tight, so I continued to speak on.
“There’s no going around the fact that maybe, yes, you could have loved someone else instead. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re in love with me now. That day, that moment, yeah, anybody would have been the luckiest person on earth to have met you... and out of everyone that day, somehow, someway, I ended up being that lucky one... and each and every I wake up and see you, I can’t thank life enough to have met you. So what just because you could have fallen for somebody else? Does that automatically mean your love for me now isn’t real now? Tell me, doesn’t it feel real right now?”
I let the question linger, and as for the answer... she could sense it all around her I’m sure. The sound of heartbeats beating as one, the warmth of our bodies close together. Our memories, our experiences, everything we’ve gone through together...
“Feels pretty real to me, Ash,” I smiled again, lifting her gaze back up towards mine once more. “What say you?”
She answered me with silence, slight movements... leaning over, kissing me on the lips, soft and sensual, driven not by passion, not by lust, I felt only her emotions, the way her fingers slowly slid into mine, the gentle way we weaved and rocked against each other, and the sudden warmth splashing down on my knee, I felt that too.
We broke apart, and I saw the shimmer in her eyes falling in streaks, tears glistening on her cheeks, and yet, she smiled at me. It was a beautiful smile she had... the prettiest.
“Real...”
“And what does your heart say?”
“That I am just as lucky, just as fortunate, to have fallen in love with you, and not any other,” She kissed me again, speaking between breaths in a whisper. “I’m really, really, happy that it is you...”
I nodded my head, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “That’s what I thought,” shortly after, we fell back into each other’s arms, into our embrace, into this moment...
Our quiet moment.
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