Chapter 431: Empty White
It was already dark up high above by the time I reached the entrance to the park. Not a cloud in sight, countless stars alight, and the moon shining oh so bright.
Nostalgia hit me like a truck driven by Vin Diesel. Skyscapes like these were a common almost every-night sight out in the country, but living life in the city they were like pots of gold at the tail-ends of double rainbows.
I would have loved nothing more than to find the nearest patch of grass and just take in every twinkle and sparkle for a couple of hours, but much like what the guy who honked at me as I crossed the road said, I should just hurry the hell up with whatever it was that I was doing.
The moment my feet hit the transition from solid concrete to coarse, rough dirt – the clinging and clamoring of a bell just wouldn’t stop ringing aloud like a fire alarm. Mr. Black was squirming and writhing in my arms trying to wriggle himself free. I’ve never seen him so hyperactive, so eager to stretch those paws of his. Seems I wasn’t the only one getting run over by Diesel...
Since I’m rather fond of my jacket, I let him loose and he sprang free from my hands like a bat out of hell. The moment his little paws touched the grass, he was off and running, feeling the chilly wind running through his fur – it was probably exhilarating for him, exciting, I don’t know... I don’t speak meow.
Mr. Black was home, truly home... and he wasted no time, sniffing and scurrying down memory lane. I made sure to tail close to him, no pun intended, because obviously a black cat in the night works just as well as a fork and an outlet – either way, you’ll only be seeing dark.
We strolled by many familiar locales, reminiscing at a distance, the way he raised his head, and flicked his tail ever so often, I could tell he wanted to explore more of home sweet home, but I made sure to keep him moving, deter him from going astray, our actual destination hasn’t been reached.
.....
Then once the path proved too perilous and thorny of his little paws, I picked him up again, holding him close, shielding him from the many bushes and sharp twigs we had to push through.
Before long, the thick foliage narrowed and broadened, and I saw it, that little opening, that familiar spot – and for some reason, I half-expected still to see a glow of light beckoning me over with its soft crimson hue... of course, there was no light, no glow anymore, just a bed of grass laid barren slightly charred and slightly singed.
As usual, I settled myself down on my usual spot beneath the looming trees and waited. Black looked around at his newfound surroundings, ears and eyes peeking above my arms tentatively.
A rustling in a nearby bush then snapped his wide, black pupils to attention, as did mine. Only I wasn’t as alarmed as he was... ’cause unlike him, I recognized that that rustling, as well as that harsh chink of a rusted bell.
“You’re either gonna hate me or love me for this,” I whispered into Black’s pointed, wary ears. “Either way, you kinda deserve to know, don’t you?”
The rustling stopped and out emerging from stray leaves fluttering to the dirt, another pair of pointed ears, of curious eyes, and paws scampering slowly across the grass. It was hard to miss it, because, unlike the color Black, when it came to the night, it’s the color White that stands out the harshest.
I felt a wriggling in my arms, stronger, rougher... and he jumped, he didn’t wait. It was a blur of moving darkness... and suddenly there Black was, his tail stiff, his movement slow, approaching her.
Confusion was a universal emotion, and I sensed it radiating off of him in his ever paw forward. I didn’t interfere, I just watched... the black nearing white.
He circled around her, once, then twice... his nose wrinkling all the while. What was he thinking, feeling? Does he know? Can he tell? I met them both when they were still so small... they were bigger now, much bigger... a lot of time spent together... and now they were back together, or were they?
Suddenly he meowed at her. A single meow, a faint meow. I didn’t know what it meant, but I did know how it sounded, tenderly, squeakily... longingly.
I knew that routine, they loved to do that together... it’s how they won the hearts and the food of people here, present company included. He’ll say something, and she’ll say something back, rinse and repeat, because no one can withstand the adorableness of such a sight.
He was waiting for the reply, his tail slowly swaying around in anticipation. Any moment, any second now... or maybe the next moment, the next second instead.
Nothing.
Mr. Black meowed again.
Mrs. White simply continued to stare back at him, seeing nothing, feeling nothing.
Always nothing.
Welp, it was worth a try, I suppose.
Then another rustling sounded. A louder rustling, an even bigger bush. As per usual, the moment I caught the slightest sway and stream of violet, Mrs. White quickly retreated back, disappearing into the hems of a violet cloak as Sera finally emerged, her golden eyes staring back unusually bright.
Before anything else could happen, I heard a hiss – a sharp, venomous sort of hiss. Mr. Black was creeping back, his back almost grotesquely arched, the ends of his fur raised, and his tail puffed. Another hiss and I heard it finally – disdain, revulsion... fear.
Mr. Black scampered back towards me, jumping, taking refuge on my lap, and refusing to budge even with my coaxing.
Sera drifted in silence, her shadow looming over me as well as the glow of her gaze. I looked up, expecting her usual blank stare, but instead, I was met with... I don’t know, I’m not sure... the way her eyes softened, trembled... almost seeming to glisten.
Sadness?
“Ah, that’s right, cats to me, Neplims to you...” I muttered, hearing Ash’s words resounding in the back of my mind. “Beings of divinity, purity, kindness. They can sense the good in others, as well as the bad.”
I recognized this scenery, I know I do, Ash looked just like her too.
“Capable of eliciting emotions too depending on how they feel about you,” I watched her sullen figure take a step back, her hood falling over, obscuring her expression. “I suppose... you aren’t feeling too good now, are you?”
A snarl, a swipe, and before I could fully register what just happened, I was holding Mr. Black back from lunging forward at her. He was writhing the most he’s ever had, the sleeves of my jacket getting caught in the crossfire of his flailing.
That’s a lot of bad to be sensing...
“Sorry about that,” I said, apologizing, holding Black back and away from sight. “I didn’t mean to... I didn’t bring him to judge you, I just thought... I thought he missed...” My eyes drifted to a faint bulge in the hems of her cloak. “Her...”
Sera moved her head, strands of her hair swaying with it. Left and right, they drifted, silently they spoke, “Nevermind.”
Unable to restrain him any more, I let Black go, and he bolted for the forest disappearing almost in an instant. I didn’t bother to go after him, he won’t run far, he’ll make sure I’ll be able to find him. He’s smart like that.
The moment Black left, Sera regained her composure, lifting her stare and meeting once more as I stood up to my feet.
“See?” I said, spreading my arms. “I’m here. Like I said I would be.”
She blinked once, giving no other reaction. I felt the air grow heavy, as did my shoulders too... like I was slowly being pushed into the earth more and more.
“So...” I rubbed my palms together, taking in a freezing breath, I kept delaying. “Freedom, huh.”
In the back of my head, I thought of everyone else’s words, thoughts, even actions.
Irene denied it vehemently.
Amanda rejected it fearfully.
Ash discouraged it objectively.
And then there was Mr. Black just then affirming all three unequivocally with but a hiss. It was like God himself was giving me a sign guiding me on what’s right. But at the end of the day, it’s not up to Him to decide, is it?
And besides as we know of Gods, Goddesses, whatever... they’re not always who you should be listening to anyway. Mom’s been proving that lately...
This was a human choice.
My choice.
“Freedom,” I repeated myself. “Y’know what that means, right? Not bound by my magic anymore. You’re your own person. I can die right here and now, and you won’t die right along with me, you’ll stay, you’ll continue to exist, you can do anything. Yeah, I can see why you’d want that.”
Again, I did not stir a reaction from her. She kept her gaze empty.
“But at the same time,” I continued. “I hope you can see why there are others out there that don’t want that to happen... me included.”
She made a noise, a grunt, and then suddenly, a sharp pang shot across my body. I raised my hand out, stopping her there.
“Let me speak,” I told her, keeping my voice my own still. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately, y’know? Do you really like the sound of my voice that much? Just... let me say what I need to say. Then you can do what you want, alright?”
Immediately the pain ceased, and I could breathe easy again... but her glare lingered, in fact, it only intensified. She’s really not much for patience, is she?
In truth, though I said what I said, I actually have no fucking idea what exactly it is I needed to say. I was improvising, spewing words on the fly, hoping I’d stumble into something real, something solid... something... something that’ll make everyone happy.
But until that happens, or doesn’t, either or... I’ll just keep on talking.
That’s right, just keep stumbling.
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