Chapter 386: A Chat With Your Driver
24-hours Lambo-Driver Challenge.
Tyler’s newest, bestest, video venture yet.
In collaboration with a transportation provider company, world-renowned safest drivers, Tyler Leaden and Co, will be going around different states, to see at the end of the timeframe, who among the competitors of five, could accumulate the most amount of passengers, the most amount of high-ratings, and most importantly, the most amount of money.
Winner gets a Porsche.
I want a Porsche.
“Hey, ey, ey, my dudes! Guess who turned up all out of a blue like the giga chad he is?!” Tyler should be flashing his blinker by now, or braking a bit for the turn he’s about to turn, but the only turn he did was the turn of the lens of the camera perched atop the dashboard, turning it to me on the passenger side ’till I was the only thing there in frame. “That’s right! You guys kept asking to bring him back, well there you go! The Big Man himself! Give a wave, Big Man!”
I went along with it, I waved... I wanna wave a taxi too instead.
.....
“But wait! There’s more!” Tyler said, definitely smudging the lenses lifting it from its strap. I think driving one-handed while waving and weaving a camera around the backseat might be a violation in some countries, and yet wave away he did. “You guys see her?! No, not Ash over there, though I know you horny bastards have been wanting to see more of her too. Hey Ash! Looking good as always! Anyway, I’m talkin’ ’bout the smaller one on the right there! See her, the brunette? That’s Little Lady Sammy! Say hi, little lady!”
We were over a lake, and for the sake of not turning this automobile into a bloody sinking submarine, I subtly steered the wheel away from the railing, while Sammy from behind was busy croaking and gargling her words, seemingly forgetting which word meant, ‘Hello’.
Talking to strangers, being downright the epitome of extraversion was Sammy’s forte, but when it came to cameras on the other hand...
“H-Hey, hi,” She stammered, speaking in a tone of voice that made her sound like her lungs had been pumped full of helium. “My name’s Samantha, h-hello...”
Tyler, hopelessly blind to all social cues, nudged the camera closer. “And just who are you exactly, Sammy? Let them Leadeners watching at home know loud and clear!”
“I’m, uh...” I saw a slender little finger pointing at me from my peripheral view. “His little sister...”
“The little sister!” He repeated even louder, his enthusiasm doing all the heavy lifting keeping things lively. “Big Man’s very own little sister, LIttle Lady Jr! Hey, if you don’t mind my asking, seriously no pressure on you – but are you a maneater as much as your big bro here is a lady killer?”
Lady killer was the absolute last thing Sammy would associate when describing me. Others include: handsome, funny, successful, talented, and pretty much every other good trait a person could have, so it took a momentary confusion before she fully processed Tyler’s words.
“Um, no, I’m, uh... I’m actually single.”
“Oh-ho, single! You hear that, folks?!” Tyler spun the camera to a big suggestive smile, and the wiggle of his brows. “How’s that work? Looking like you do, you must be pretty popular in school, yeah? But single? Really?”
Popular was vastly underestimating facts. The teacher’s pet, the social butterfly, sometimes when I went to pick her up, there was not a single conversation I’d eavesdrop out of boredom that didn’t at least drop her name at some point, and when it came to homecoming, I lost count long ago how many times I had to answer her phone for her telling guys whose voices wouldn’t stop cracking over the line that she ain’t feeling too well to answer at the moment.
So to summarize, popular, smart, pretty, and it’s not like she’s lacking for potential flings, so yeah, what the hell? Now it’s got me wondering, Tyler’s right – how’s that work?
Sammy made another long croaking noise before answering with a little shrug, “It’s, umm, more trouble than it’s worth, I guess?”
You guess? What do you mean, you guess, Sammy? You’re not even sure yourself why you’ve never dated? Once again, how’s that work?
“Aight, fair enough,” Tyler said, nodding his head profoundly, like he’s just been bestowed upon great wisdom, before leaning in a little more, swinging around to Ash, who all this time was happily listening to the rumble of the engine. “But I’m sure the Elf-princess herself would really beg to differ, amirite?! Give us the latest scoop, Ash, how’s love been treating you so far? Maybe you can even convince Little Lady Jr. over here to start reeling in for some fishes, you know?”
At this point, with Tyler’s ass halfway sticking out of his seat, I was pretty much doing most of the driving for him. The thought of hauling him back from his collar, and tying him to the steering wheel with the seatbelt was an enticing one, but hearing what Ash had to say was a whole ‘nother level of temptation.
Even Sammy couldn’t help herself and lean in ever subtly closer.
“Love, you say?” Ash repeated, slanting her gaze. “You wish me to share my romantic affairs with my Master out in the open?”
“Oh, damn, affairs, ey? Ey?!” Tyler chuckled. “If you’re gonna spill, try to keep it family-friendly alright? I still need my monetization, you know?”
I sense danger with an incoming collision with a runaway called second-hand embarrassment. Okay, maybe I really should pull the brakes on this whole thing.
“Unfortunately, I’ll have to politely decline,” Ash gave a slight bow, rising up with a tender apologetic smile. “Those moments, those quiet moments of us two, moments that no one else knows but I, they are but dear and special to me, precious... and I wish not to divulge any of it for the whole world to hear. I hope you can excuse me.”
Our eyes briefly met from the reflections of the rearview mirror, and Ash continued on, turning her words towards Sammy.
“But, yes, love. I would say not to worry just yet. You’re young, you should focus on enjoying your youth, your life... and eventually, in due time, love will find you... as it did I in the end.”
Silent was the few second ambiance that filled the car until Tyler broke out with a roaring ovation.
“Spoken like a true maiden in love, hell, I could cry,” He sighed, settled himself back onto the driver seat, and then proceeded to freaking sucker punch my shoulder with a smile. “Dude, if you ain’t gonna be putting a ring on it after that, then I think I oughta be driving you to an asylum instead.”
As I silently rubbed the slight swell in my shoulder, I noticed Sammy had Ash in her crosshair – gazing at her with a renewed sense of interest and fascination. If my big brother senses hadn’t gone dull and blunt over the past year, then that stare there was her wondering to herself how we two even ever came about, and that smirk that followed – nothing but trouble.
Eventually, we finally reached our destination with Tyler drifting to a hard stop parallel to the entrance. Against all odds, and a countless number of traffic violations violated, he somehow got us there no worse for wear.
Ash and Sammy got out first and headed for the inside, while I stayed behind to fish out my wallet, only to be stopped midway with a firm grip holding onto my wrist.
I looked up, and Tyler raised a finger, wiggling it side to side in objection.
“Twelve bucks, big man,” He said, letting my wrist go. “For such a short fuckin’ trip, you really gonna pay me that big a fee?”
I flailed a hand in the air. “That’s what the app’s saying.”
“Ain’t what I’m saying though,” Tyler said, tapping a button on his phone beeping mine, asking me if I’ve enjoyed the ride. “Here, you and yours ride for free, you hear? I don’t wanna see a single dime my way. Use it on your dames, dude. Get them a drink or something.”
Knowing the futility of arguing, I pushed my wallet deeper back into my pocket. “Didn’t you mention you were like twenty bucks away from first place though? Aren’t you in it to win it?”
“In it to win it?” He sniggered. “My man, who do you think is giving away the Porsche? I certainly don’t need it.”
Good point.
“Five stars, though,” He said, pointing a finger my way. “It was a five-star ride, right?”
“Sure, sure, of course,” I said, swinging open the door, and nudging at him a farewell. “Good catching up, Tyler. See ya around.”
“Yep, I’ll see ya, and hey if you ever need a ride home,” He wiggled his phone. “You know where I’m at.”
“Will do.”
And with that, Tyler roared and rumbled away, still without his blinkers blinking turning right, along with a choir of blaring horns following in his departure gradually growing fainter and fainter.
Classic Tyler.
Anyway, I turned around... and began a valiant march forward, hissing in a breath and tempering myself for what’s to come. Because if it isn’t pretty, popular, or smart, then what my sister truly is undoubtedly is a little mischievous devil in disguise eager to throw a wrench in every one of my affairs.
Romantic or otherwise.
And she says I’m the evil one...
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