Chapter 227: A Smile
He continued to hum still.
“She didn’t come to pick me up from school that day. Used to be a normal thing. Working two jobs, sometimes she just got too busy, y’know? I mean, I also don’t mind taking the bus, it’s fun sometimes. Sure, I could have called her, but I didn’t wanna bother her... and anyway... she wouldn’t even have answered, right”
Painfully off-tuned sing-song tunes that could give nails and chalkboards a run for their money. If you wanna throw some symbolism into it – these ear-grating tunes were a lot like him.
“Got home. And others already beat me to the punch. Freaking police everywhere, people everywhere... thought we got robbed, I was freaking the hell out. Looking back, I kinda wish we did just get robbed. Ain’t anything that expensive in there anyway. TV, laptop... those things, could always just buy those back anyway...”
Agonizing, intrusive, kinda on the brink of being assaulting. Yet if you somehow were able to overlook it, you’d find these tunes, the melody at least... to be the most genuine piece of happiness you’d hear in all your life.
“Neighbour spotted me, held me there in place. I didn’t find out till later that she was the one that made the call, said she heard some loud bang in our house. I didn’t know that, so fuckin’ young me asked her if she’s seen my mom anywhere. In the end, I never got to see her body until the funeral.
“They all say suicide, I say broken heart. I mean, they weren’t there to hear her sobbing alone in her bedroom in the night, they weren’t the ones stuffing the trash bin with beer cans in the morning. When they searched the house, she didn’t leave a note, no letter, nothing. Not even to me. I like to think she did that to make forgetting her easier.”
.....
That’s just what Tyler was – a happy tune that just won’t stop. Everywhere he was, that smile of his follows.
“Well, Mom, so much for that, huh? The joke’s on you dumbass, it backfired. You’re gonna be on my mind till the day I die. How’d ya like that? And if there’s gonna be any Tyler Jrs walking around in the future, you better bet your ass they’re gonna know about you too.”
Even here, even kneeling, his face – enveloped by a warm soft yellow, the flicker of candlelight reflecting in the shimmer of his dark eyes, he was still smiling. To his side, laid a thick bundle of weeds, on the other... another bundle, soggy wet rags lying in a clump.
“You were right,” I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “That was not a happy story.”
“Happy ending, though,” He piped up, snipping the last of the tall grass. “Just look at me now. Making people smile through my videos, entertaining them... best job ever. I don’t even gotta worry about money... not like before, right Mom?”
He did fast work, his hands moved like they were made for this. Might sound weird, but it was a little mesmerizing watching those hands go to work – and now that they were done, now they laid there, resting against one another, fingers interlocking with fingers, his knuckles propping up his leaning glistening forehead.
“You know something, though?” He whispered softly. “Sometimes I wish you could see me now. No one can say ‘I’m proud of you’ like you do. When I get to where you are now, we’re gonna have a lot to talk about. Till that day, though... guess I’ll just keep making ya proud.”
Then through his closed lips, as dainty and as carefree, hummed away that annoying happy tune.
I’m sure he could wake up the dead alone with his voice.
Then, abruptly, and so suddenly, the humming stopped – and the next thing I knew, he was softly chuckling to himself while shaking his head, like he just got told some morbid joke that you couldn’t help but laugh at.
“You thought of a joke?” Me and my even more morbid curiosity asked him.
“Oh yep, definitely,” He replied, still giggling, a toothy-grin face turning towards me. “And you’re looking right at him, man.”
“Uh-huh,” I tilted my head at him. “So what’s the punchline?”
“Here I am going on about remembering mom, respecting her and shit,” He paused to chuckle even harder. “I forgot to bring the fucking flowers, holy shit, I am unbelievable.”
“Well, don’t sweat it, I’m sure there are some around we can pick and – ”
I trailed off, looked around the place – graveyards aren’t exactly known to be lush bountiful utopias, and that’s true for here too... so many swaying greens, yet not a single blooming petal as far as the eye can see.
My eyes found his once more, and I nodded, “Okay, I see the problem.”
“So much for being a filial son, eh?” Tyler blew a breath. “All good... I’ll just drop you off, buy some at town, come back... no biggie. Still sucks though, hard to see a burning candle without the flowers... nevermind, let’s just bounce.”
When he stood up, looking the closest I’ve ever seen him genuinely glum... that’s when, like the midday sun hanging high, a lightbulb in my head started shining bright.
Must have been a surprise for his eyes right then, when he saw me hobbling in the completely total opposite direction.
“Uhh, car’s this way, big man,” He called out to me.
“Actually, I think I might have seen something behind that tree there,” I hobbled faster. “Wait right there, I’ll go check.”
In actuality, when I disappeared behind the tree over yonder, there was absolutely nothing to check, just an excuse to hide – ’cause after all, magic was not for the privy eyes.
If I can summon a fictional mythical being from nothing, I shouldn’t even be batting an eye at a bouquet of flowers, right? Honestly, it wasn’t much of an idea – it was more like a ‘fuck it, why not give it a go?’ type of impulse that took over me.
No guarantees I could do it, ‘specially after the metal spoon fiasco. But if I didn’t think I could do it, then I wouldn’t even have tried in the first place, and for this – I didn’t think I could, I knew I could.
Why? Well for some strange reason, I work best when I ain’t working for myself. When it came to indulging myself I struggled more, but if it’s for others, when it comes to indulging them, helping them... well...
It ticked all the criteria for the FDI’s to channel through, and suddenly that muscle was flexing easy again.
I had my palms to the dirt a second ago, buried amidst the soft grass... not anymore, now. In a dazzling glow that lasted as brief as breathing, I got me some flowers of every type I could think of sprouting up from literally nothing.
Didn’t grow up in the countryside without plucking my fair share of flowers, after all.
It’s no setting-fire-to-the-garden-then-freezing-it-over-with-your-breath impressive like Sammy, but who’s the shithead actually keeping score? This wasn’t a competition.
I pulled out a good handful, a smile on my face, breathing in once, “Yep! Found some growing here, after all! Pretty ones, too!”
One second, two seconds, then...
“What? For real?!” There’s the ecstasy in his voice again, to the dismay of all the sleeping residents here, I’m sure. “Been here so many times, I’ve never seen any. You seriously for real? Get ’em over here! Lemme see!”
The handful I hobbled back to him was just the exact handful he needed. He thanked me once, then twice... by the third, you’d think I’d have gotten the message that he was sincerely grateful to me... but nope, he even gave a fourth and fifth just for good measure.
I appreciate that he wasn’t the type to ask any questions – don’t think I could have come up with an excuse to the fact that with such a variety of flower types in his hand, that unless this cemetery was sitting under a former greenhouse, it’d physically impossible to find them growing in the same place, under the same tree.
Whatever, man. Flowers were flowers.
One by one, he rested them onto her grave, whittling his collection all the way down to a single blue flower – that one, he held onto a lot longer, twirling it between his fingers, with a smile gradually widening.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He glanced at me, flower still twirling.
“It’s a forget-me-not,” He said.
“I’m surprised you can tell.”
He snorted, then slowly, he set them down, fingers free. “They were the first flowers I ever gave her first time I was here. Can’t forget forget-me-nots. Its name always made me sad when I was young.”
I blinked. “You get sad too?”
“What do you mean?” He asked, his expression far from any doom and gloom. “We all get sad, man. We all cry. Watching Mom, I know how hard it is to be happy... and then there’s also sometimes you just don’t wanna be, right? It’s exhausting, man... smiling all the time like that.”
This he says, also smiling.
For a while, no one spoke. Just me standing there, watching. Just him sitting there, packing. A minute later, he’s got the back slung around his shoulder again, car keys twirling around his forefinger.
He took a step towards me, past me, always, with that smile on his face.
“And you?” I asked, turning around towards him. “Are you... exhausted too?”
Tyler didn’t stop walking, for the first time, loudmouth Tyler was silent – all he did was turn, all he did was chuckle... and all he did was smile.
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