Chapter 223 Defeating your own weakness
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With time ticking down, Ben gulped as he looked at the nightclub waitress, knowing she was his last chance for schlong-saving...
Not having a moment to waste, he didn’t even wait for her to finish giggling when he fired his next line, one he’d been working on a while. "I’m thinking of getting into waitressing myself...can you give me any tips to break into the industry?"
...
It was the same line he used on the bouncer, but this time, it worked!
She laughed! "Oh, I don’t have any tips, sorry."
[Target’s current attraction level: interested(+3)]
’I guess the line’s better on girls...’ Ben didn’t understand humor, but he did understand sexist double standards...
With that, he’d also passed the second hurdle! However...
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Ben narrowed his eyes. ’Running out of time. I need to go direct now, but I’m not sure if I can pass the value test, in that case...’
He smirked. "No tips? That’s unexpected, I got the impression you were the perfect waitress, even if your hair smells like Jagermeister..."
Now, she couldn’t hold back from outright guffawing.
[Target’s current attraction level: attracted(+4)]
It landed! After Beluga taught him about negs and Ben failed multiple times, he’d been thinking about how to make good ones, and now—he succeeded! It was a perfect neg! A compliment that she was the perfect waitress, and also a joking insult that she got no tips and her hair smelled...
On top of that, it was funny! That made it pass even easier!
Ben couldn’t relax though, because the clock was ticking! ’I just need one more line! But it’s going to be the riskiest of them all! I have to go direct!’
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Seeing almost half the time gone though, he became more nervous than ever. This wasn’t a normal approach where he could shake off failure. The stakes were serious! The consequences frightful!
A thought emerged from somewhere in the back of his mind. ’It’s just 3 months of impotence. You were already d*ckless for 18 years... It’ll be fine!’
He blinked. ’What the hell was that?!?’
Under heavy pressure, thoughts to escape, to take the easy route, crept up from a place of fear in his subconscious; trying to get him to avoid difficulties; trying to get him to sink into comfort. These were what people referred to as—inner demons...
These whispers were nefarious and perfectly-timed, arriving right when Ben’s anxiety was at its height, his discomfort like needles poking into each part of his flesh and mind. He didn’t have to suffer so, the murmurs said.
Instead of pain, they brought soothing calls of peace, of letting go of troubles, of not being responsible for failure.
They promised a cure if he’d only keep drinking poison...
They promised to ease the symptoms if he’d only embrace the disease...
They promised anything he wanted to hear, and their words were sweet, too sweet for anyone to ignore. ’Should I just...take it easy?’ Ben’s eyes shook. He could be free. It would be so easy. All he had to do—was quit and walk away.
Then, Ben recalled everything he’d gone through these past couple of months: every failure, every fall, and every rise from the ground.
And those little victories, no matter how inconsequential at times, gave him strength! In his moment of doubt, he remembered Beluga’s advice that his subconscious mind would sometimes go against him, and so, he stopped listening to it!
’No one can control my mind better than me! I’m its master! Not the other way around!’ He first shut it down!
Next, he remembered what it said, calling him d*ckless for 18 years... ’Wait, why does even my mind insult me?!?’ He was angry now!
...
However, it wasn’t only his mind. His body was rebelling too!
His hands shook!
His heart thumped!
His mouth was dry!
This was a full-scale rebellion!
...
Even so, Ben gritted his teeth, and fought to overcome it!
His hands shook, so he held them against his legs.
His heart thumped, so he did his best to ignore it.
His mouth was dry, but not as dry as the chicken in the dorm cafeteria...so not that bad...
Every part of his body was telling him to run away though!
Every part, except the one yelling something different--his little brother. ’Don’t kill me!’
...
Once again though, under this maelstrom of impulses, Ben remembered Beluga’s advice: ’Ignore your anxiety, and focus on displaying confidence. You don’t need to have it. You only need them to believe you do!’
Gulping, Ben did his best to exude self-belief. As the waitress observed him, he forced whatever parts of his face and body he could control to relax, and as for the ones he couldn’t, he disregarded them. It was all for this last line, the one he couldn’t afford to mess up!
Locking eyes with her, Ben smirked, radiating supreme self-assurance. "Well, since you have no tips, I should be a gentleman and help you out. Not to brag, but I’ve satisfied every waitress that’s ever served me—with just the tip."
...
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Although a lot happened in his mind in those seconds before, none of those moments were as stressful as these now, because the waitress...still hadn’t responded...
Waiting, Ben did the only thing he could: hold his confident expression and not avert eye contact as long as possible. Yet, he couldn’t help but watch the last minute tick down. With each passing second, he became more and more nervous, terrified he’d gone too far!
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