Chapter 78 - TWIST OF FATE
I yearned to take her in my arms, keep her there for the rest of my life, and never let her go away. Instead, what's happening is the complete opposite. I watch her walk away with Faith Vienne in her arms. I have no choice but to just follow her with my gaze until she's out of my vision. She took half of me, there's no one could make me whole again except her. In haste to walk away from the sight that pains me, I nearly bumped on someone, the woman mumbled an apology and I simply nod my head before turning towards the exit with quick long strides.
Phoenix's sweet natural scent lingered inside the car as if she was still there. It was pure torture knowing she's never going to come back, if she could, perhaps it would take another two to four years before she could. It was a long tortuous wait and by the time I could finally see her she would probably take her newfound lover with her. God knows if by that time my employer would promote me as Butler but it still makes me someone unworthy of her.
As the car traverse the highway, I couldn't stop thinking about what transpired between the two of us. God knows that the last four hours was the happiest moments I've experienced in all my existence. Words wouldn't be enough to describe them. The short stolen moments with her and our daughter made me realize how I wasted so much chances in my life. If I didn't mess up with our marriage she would still be mine and I don't need to keep the truth from her. But it was too late for my regrets now, nothing will change. I'm just a man who almost had everything—wasted it all—now I have nothing.
Crawford Mansion seems eerily quiet after I arrived. I could sense melancholy wherever I look. Even the garden that used to radiate with good vibes looked somber and I felt triple worse. The only person who made my stay bearable inside Alexander Crawford's property was gone. I would not see her sitting on the window anymore. I wouldn't see her strolling in the garden. I wouldn't see her inside the house. Gone was the source of my happiness. I wonder if I would be happy again now that she's gone.
It was the privacy of my cottage where I found myself dealing with the nagging emptiness. The piecing silence seem to slice me into pieces. I lifted the pillow and fumbled with the picture concealed behind the covers. I Phoenix's face in the picture and it made me smile, though my smile lacked luster and barely reached my eyes, it was genuine. The picture was taken on our the day of her wedding. It reminds me of the time when were both so inlove and plans a bright future ahead of us.
She was smiling in the picture, the kind of smile that could melt the iciest heart with its warmth. Her beautiful phoenix eyes were filled with so much emotion as she looked at me. How I missed those eyes looking so tenderly at me as if I was the only guy on earth. But the memories remains only in the photograph, I could always look back but I could never go back.
I let go a deep sigh before placing the picture back into the pillows with care as if it's a valuable gem that shouldn't be scratched. The picture was the only thing I have of her, it was the single picture I have of her which I was able to salvage before I left the Greyson Mansion. Well, I nearly forgot, aside from the picture I treasured, I also have our wedding ring with me. One day if I have the courage to do so, I will put back that ring to her fingers where it belongs. She was still my wife and she have all the right to wear the ring. I want to thank the lawyer who tricked me with fake divorce papers, he saved my marriage. He deserve a reward, if our path crosses again I will remember to give him bonus.
I have too much of sentiments, I warned myself. In response, I moved out of the cottage and decided to spending the next hours tending Alexander's garden. In that way it will help lessen the lonely heaviness on my chest. Out of habit, my gaze averted to the floor to ceiling glass window of the terrace, I was half expecting to see her there—seated on the long Victorian sofa and when I didn't see her shadow my already ruined mood plummeted down the ocean floor.
It was nearly four in the afternoon, the hot sunshine was still pouring from the sky while I shoveled the garden bed. Sweat flowed down my temples and back until my shirt was soaking wet. If I will just focus on my job probably it will helped me ease her off my mind. I didn't realize time slip so fast, when I finished the task, it the sun was setting from the horizon, darkness and light play tug of war in which the darkness prevails in this battle.
Life was miserable without Phoenix in it. I thought inwardly walking towards the nearest wooden bench with the shovel still in my hand. Life was indeed full of surprises, we never know what what will hits you before it's too late. You never know you love someone until you let her go. You never know the true value of a person until you go seperate ways. That's exactly what happened to me and until now I'm still paying the price. I know that even I live am extremely long life I shall not be able to oay my debts in full after all the sins I made. Perhaps I will only find the true meaning of peace until Phoenix learns to forgive me.
I have long since gave up my faith. I forget God's existence when my merciless mother abandoned me at a very young age. My life didn't improve when father took me to his home. In fact, it made my life worst. My step mother is the incarnation of devil himself, there's not a part of my body where the whip didn't burned my skin. But now, I'm willing to take a huge risk and believe the God, if he existed. I'm pleading that he would give me one last chance to be with my wife and daughter again.... I don't believe in miracle but now my only option is to believe in its existence.
"Greyson."
When I lifted my gaze, it was Alexander Crawford I saw. I nearly fell from the wooden bench, startled from his unexpected arrival. I didn't hear his footsteps. Perhaps I was too absorb with my thoughts or he made sure that I will not hear him approach. It wasn't so dark that his expression was still visible. His face was surprisingly calm. It made me wonder the Crawford patriarch wanted to tell me.
I rose from the bench and eyed him warily without covering the irritation on my face. "Good evening Sir." I said respectfully. He was still my employer and my secret wife's father.
"let's dive straight to the point Greyson. It would be better if you start packing. I have no use of here." Alexander Crawford spoke, without filters. The expression on his face remained menacingly calm.
I know that I would have to live the Crawford Mansion but it didn't occur to me that it's today. So much for my hopes to stay here longer and wait until Phoenix's returns. I sighed heavily. I was so damn confuse from the quick turn of events that I was left with no choice but to accept my fate. Maybe this is where my journey ends.
"What about my painting, Sir? It's important to me."
"Forget about the painting Greyson. I won't give it to you easily."
Alexander Crawford began to move away. When he was gone, I wasted no time and packed few of my clothes which Lucas Nicholas—my bestfriend was kind enough to give me. I changed into a grey tshirt and put my denim jacket on. I fumbled with my grey rubber shoes under the bed and put it on, unfortunately Lucas gave it to me too. I feel like a charity case. As if I have a choice.
When I was finish, I slung the backpack behind my back. I'm fed up with this. I'm leaving. I have no further reason to stay anyway. To hell with the painting, I shall make another.
It seems Alexander Crawford was waiting for me. When I close the door to the cottage, he stood in the doorway.
"What's it you want?" I asked in a frosty tone that could have frozen the depths of underworld.
Alexander Crawford shrugged his shoulder before he reply. "I'm here to give your plane ticket and allowance. Congratulations you've been promoted as bodyguard, Greyson."
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