Chapter 61 - HAPPIER
She never
seemed shattered;
to me, she was a
breathtaking mosaic
of the battles
she's won.
-Matt Baker-
***
I was surprised, the word 'surprised' would even be an understatement. I was shocked beyond imagination.
The event seems surreal that I denied it myself at first. I just missed Phoenix so much that I imagine her to be the beauty descending the stairs. Probably this was all a dream. Soon I would wake up alone, surrounded by the dimly lit cottage with only the lamp on.
The waiter passed by and I fetched another glass of red wine from the tray. Realizing my hands were trembling, I nearly spilled the blood-red contents into the front of the white t-shirt I wore.
I swallowed the content in one gulp, it burned my throat, and as the pleasant sensation descended at the pit of my stomach, my body slowly relaxed. I summoned all the courage I could muster and lifted my gaze to the woman—no, the queen—who finally reached the foot of the stairs. Hovering around her were a dozen eager men waiting to take a bit of her attention but she was too absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't pay them a glance.
I found myself walking to the dim part of the grand hall where the bar counter is located. I never once took my gaze at her until I reached the spot and occupied the bar stool and watched with bedazzled interest at the smooth enchanting rhythm of her movement.
It must be a mistake, it would be impossibly her. The regal queen making her way past the densely packed crowd to the dance floor was not my ex-wife. She was Beatrix Crawford, the heiress of Crawford Chain of Business. I blame my over active imaginations from sleep deprivation.
The bartender refilled my glass. With keen interest, my unwavering eyes continue to look at the striking beauty that made every single jaw dropped to the floor.
My fingers trembled as I lifted it to my mouth and so suddenly she absentmindedly turned in my direction as if she sensed my prying eyes, I ended up spluttering half of the contents on my mouth thus, staining the white t-shirt I wore.
But the cloth was no longer my interest, to hell with it. For a moment my heart stopped and the dizzying truth hit hard like a sharp bolt of lightning that nearly pushed me off my seat. Phoenix De Amore, my ex-wife, and Beatrix Crawford are the same. I returned the empty glass with more force than required. Before I realized it, I had abandoned my chair and my jaw literally dropped to the floor.
The only woman who stood by me all these years was now as unreachable as a star.? A wall as thick and long as the Great Wall of China separates us now. The tables have turned, the woman who once loved me became a diamond of the first water that bedazzled the crowd with her natural charm. I became nothing but a mere memory.
'I dare you not to fall in love with my daughter.' It was the exact threat Alexander Crawford had given me. I realize he had the very reason to warn me at all.
But it was too late.
I already found myself falling for his daughter all over again.
It was so damn irritating and damn miserable to fail my job on the very first day.
And then I saw her lips spread into a smile that brightened the whole room when Alexander Crawford took her hand.
I died inside seeing how happy she was, it was something I haven't made her feel for a long time.
All I could think of as I look at her was how I wronged her in the past, how I broke her heart and how I made her suffer. I could never undo the pain I caused her. The terrible mistake I did in the past could possibly be forgotten but never will be forgiven.
The crowd parted, giving way to eight dashing men slowly making their way towards her direction. Good looking,
tall, attractive, well-toned body…. I try to search for some imperfection, Much to my chagrin, I found none. I found myself irritated seeing them cover my view.
The room suddenly fell into a noticeable hush. Even the men who hovered over Beatrice Crawford humbly went aside to give way to the eight men. Their presence conquered the room.
A woman in her fifties—he wasn't quite sure about her age— emerged from the sea of guests. She wore an A-line gown that she handled with natural grace and elegance. There are few streaks of silver on her once ebony black hair which was fashioned into a neatly done chignon. A tiara made of diamonds glittered on her head, enhancing her look for tonight's event.
When the woman turned her gaze in my direction, I caught my breath. Beatrix Crawford, and so it was her name now, was a spitting image of the woman beside her.? One would assume she was his mother, or more accurately she was her grandmother.
The eight men gave her a soft kiss on the cheeks and I watched with a pang of annoyance as she hugged them with delight, her eyes gleaming with fondness, almost surpassing the brightness of the chandelier.
I wonder who the lucky man who captured her heart… I wonder who was her boyfriend among the eight men surrounding her.
Her boyfriend…
I felt a stab of annoyance watching the mens flock to her side.
So this was jealousy, I thought with a jolt of surprise. It was the most unpleasant sensation.
As if my question had been answered, the tallest man, nearly as tall as me, approached her the last. He was broad-shouldered and he has this natural authoritative aura he carried with him. He said something to her ears which made her cheeks turn crimson and her lips curled into a sweet serene smile that stole my heart all over again.
When she whispered something to his ears, I witnessed him smile with tenderness softening his aristocratic features. Her large beautiful phoenix eyes lit up with fondness as he ushered her to the dance floor.
I heard my heart crashing to the white ceramic floor and shattering into tiny bits when he wrapped his muscular arms around Beatrix's narrow hips. I thought the sight was already unbearable watching her too close to him, but when her soft fingers slither to his neck, I felt the other half of me died.
As if the fates were toying with my emotion, The song 'Happier by Ed Sheeran played in the background and my mood plummeted to the ocean floor.
My heart which had been broken into pieces was painfully pulverized as if a ten-wheeler truck had rolled on top. The sight of her dancing with the man is just painful knowing he was not just a stranger…. but her lover. The last thought drained the strength left in me.
Walking down 29th and Park
I saw you in another's arms
Only a month we've been apart
You look happier
Saw you walk inside a bar
He said somethin' to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah, you look happier, you do
I didn't look away, I just couldn't look away despite the imaginary knife stabbing my heart.
"I think you needed this Sir," The bartender pushed the bottle of wine into my hands which I didn't realize was tightly gripping the bar counter. I frowned at the interruption, my irritation deepened by the absence of a wine glass.
'Heck, yeah. I needed it badly.' I thought and pour the wine into my mouth as if I'm drinking water, not liquor.
If only I could see my bleeding heart now, I'm sure as hell it was as red as the stain left on the white t-shirt I'm wearing.
Ain't nobody hurt you as I hurt you
But ain't nobody loves you as I do
Promise that I will not take it personal, baby
If you're movin' on with someone new
'Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you
The song just dug deeper. I could feel the pain from the tip of my fingers down to every corner of my body.
I smiled, it was a genuine smile but it lacked luster, it barely reached my eyes too.
As long as Phoenix, I mean Beatrix was fine I would be fine too. As long as she's happy, I'll do my best to be happy too. As long as she's in good hands, I have nothing to worry about.
Whatever wonderful things she has now, she deserves it all. She's a good person with a beautiful heart and soul.
The pain clutching my heart was too much especially after seeing him lean closer and lay a soft kiss on the woman I love. I moved towards the door with the half-empty bottle of wine on my fingers.
Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. That's what I realize as I walk out the door.
For one last time, I'll do her the greatest favor I could—I shall set her free.
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