Chapter 44 - DESTINED
I couldn't back down. Not now, when my goal was standing just a few meters from where I stood… waiting for me to take the first step, and make a difference to the lives that mattered to me.
I stood there, more determined than ever. My eyes staring straight ahead as it pierced through the gates. I could now have a clear view of the regal Crawford Mansion as it stood proudly under the hot afternoon sun.
Just a couple of steps and I'm almost there. I told myself as I took a deep steadying breath ignoring the surge of panic that made my heart hammered with fear.
The thought of letting Elisa and her parents down was enough to fill me with dread. It would be more difficult watching their fallen faces compare to facing the Crawfords. I could bear to face a stranger's wrath but not my new family's hopelessness.
'Please Lord, help me through this ordeal.' I mumbled inwardly, as I asked for guidance and strength to do this. I wasn't doing this for my own but for the family who gave me both warmth and shelter even though I was a stranger, a lost girl who'd forgotten her past.
"Are you okay Ma'am?" My burgeoning thoughts were cut short when the guard spoke, I blinked my eyes forcing my way back to reality. As I look up, a worried face meets my gaze.
"I'm fine," I respond, forcing a smile into my lips. My fingers absentmindedly caressing my protruding stomach.
His gaze finally lands where my hands protectively rest. I saw as his face slowly turned to an alarming concern after realizing for the first time I was pregnant.
"I might be interfering with your affairs, as a concerned individual speaking, a pregnant woman about to labor soon shouldn't be traveling alone. It's too dangerous." He spoke the words calmly, it was filled with sincerity that I lowered my gaze to the ground. His words were so right, it hit home, and now I was damn guilty for my compulsive decision.
But... As I've said, I couldn't cower... Not now. It was determination that was keeping me forward.
I raised my gaze, stared straight into a pair of eyes as I pleaded. "This is important. I badly need to meet Mr. Alexander Crawford."
He sighed. "Can I have your invitation card, please?"
I shook my head as I responded I have none.
If it happened a different guard was on the post on the gates I was so sure my butt would be kicked as soon as possible after I failed to produce an invitation card.
"If that's the case, I couldn't let you in. My apologies Ma'am but we follow guidelines and protocols. I could be fired if I refuse to follow them."
"It's okay, I understand," I replied and smiled at him, this time it was genuine. I admire how professional he was with an air of respect to an uninvited guest like me.
The guard excused himself. Before he left, I received an apologetic glance.
I couldn't stay here anymore. Maybe some other time, I would come here on God's perfect timing. I sighed deeply and eyed the gates with regrets.
Just as I was about to move away, the rattle of the gates parting open captured my attention. I stared silently as a brand new car slowly made its way out. I closed my gaping mouth when it suddenly pulled into a stop just right in front of where I stood.
Before I knew it, the door flung open, and a balding man in his thirties emerged rather hurriedly. He wore a black formal suit but he didn't appear like a guest to me—he looked more of a detective with that sharp, penetrating eyes which was now focused on my face and it was making me too uncomfortable.
Stark shock was visibly written all over his face. Recognition was flickering in his eyes. For a while longer than expected, we stood there staring straight at each other. He was bemused and shocked at the same time—it seems he couldn't fathom what to feel in between the two— it's as if he'd seen a ghost come back to life. I, on the other hand, was as lost as he was, as I wondered why he was intently looking at me.
He was still shaking his head badly. Wide, unbelieving eyes continue to stare at me. And then the man smiled, and when he did, the fine lines on his forehead eased a bit, his expression softened giving him a younger look.
"I guess fate has made things easier for all of us." He said mysteriously. I did not respond. I don't know how to. I just stared at him unblinkingly.
His eyes flickered, his nose reddened as if he was holding back the tears. I couldn't understand his reaction, he was shocked for a moment and now he looked emotional.
Things happened so fast, the next thing I knew he was urging me to take a sealed envelope into my hands which I absentmindedly took.
"Ten years... It took me that long to find you without knowing that you will actually find your way here—which I called the most perfect timing. Everyone was waiting for you inside. Good luck Phoenix De Amore.... Or should I say, Beatrix Crawford."
And just like that, after saying the words, he clambered inside his car and disappeared. He left without even explaining, leaving me to figure things out on my own.
The car faded on my line of vision but I was still there standing, waiting to come up with explanations with his parting words. But no matter how hard I ponder, I failed to understand what he meant.
And then my gaze landed on the sealed envelope in my palms. A delighted whimper escaped my lips when I tore it open.
My prayers were answered! Thank God! I mumbled with tears in the corner of my eyes.
"Welcome to the Crawford Mansion Ma'am."
The guard pulled the gates open after I handed him the invitation card. I cast him a quick, thankful smile as I finally stepped inside and the gates closed behind me.
My lips parted in awe when the breathtaking beauty of the lawn decorated with expensive ornament popped up in my view. As I made my way into the cemented pavement, my wandering eyes were pleasured by the sight of green sceneries—an image that came straight out of a genius artist's masterpiece.
A sense of peace descended on me. Home sweet home—that's what I exactly feel now. This place was a foreign domain my feet wandered for the first time, and yet it gave me a sudden surge of nostalgia as if I'd been here before…. And I always belong here. Strange. Yet, I love that kind of comforting feeling.
Gone was the feeling of dread consuming my insides when I finally stepped foot inside the Crawford Mansion. A brand new hope refueled my whole body. I was more than ready to face the Crawfords'.
"Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday, happy birthday. Happy birthday to you!"
I could barely hear the voices humming against the closed door of the Grand Hall. When the singing stopped, I finally pushed the door open.
The sudden brightness from the glowing chandeliers that scatter the ceiling like gigantic constellations caught me off guard. I stopped in my tracks as light stung my unprepared eyes.
I closed my eyes for a short moment and waited until I was ready before I fluttered them open ignoring the room that suddenly went still.
When my eyes got adjusted to the light, that's when I realized a huge, bemused crowd was frozen on their tracks. The guest turned into statues as their gaze locked to mine. There was no sound coming from them as if they forgot to even breath
The world inside the grand hall suddenly stopped turning. It was so silent that a leaf could be heard as it landed on the tiled floor.
I looked at the guests wearing their best formal wear for the occasion with their glittering jewelry on and secretly thanked the heavens that I chose to wear a plain white dress, formal enough to provide me a decent look. At least the dress I wore was good enough since it makes it less obvious I was a gatecrasher.
My wandering gaze landed straight ahead. Right there on the bottom of the stairs where the whole Crawford Family had gathered my gazes stopped and I froze from the intimidating sight. I suddenly had this urge to make a retrieving step backward seeing them in full force.
I took a deep steadying breath, cast all my fear aside, and slowly made my way to the bottom of the stairs. The crowd started to part and they bowed their heads towards my direction respectively as I slowly made my way.
I don't know what's going on and yet I continue to walk down the carpeted aisle until I was standing near Crawford's allowing me to have a glimpse of their faces.
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