Chapter 194 - TDVWIAI [03] PAINFUL NEWS
After my so-called burial, I was sent out of the country to live in a place without a family member to guide me nor a close friend to confide my deepest, darkest thoughts.
I am very much alone.
Everyone thought I was dead and I almost believed it too. All my life I was treated as if I didn't exist. There was only one girl everyone cared about and it was Alexandria—my twin sister—the culprit who made my life a living hell.
The place I was sent to live alone was in a two storey mansion where the servants came only once a week to maintain the cleanliness of the house and to deliver food supplies.
To keep my sanity intact, I learned to play the piano all by myself. I even taught myself how to play the violin. And during the times the loneliness was breaking me apart, it was in the books which I found consolation. I even turned to gardening so I have something to occupy myself. For if I were to entertain the nagging loneliness inside me, I would surely go crazy. freewebno(v)el
I was living a hermit life but for the first time in my life, I felt happy.
"Bella…."
A woman's sweet voice calling me, cut through my trail of thoughts. It's a voice of a stranger but it was soft and very soothing. It was the same voice, telling me almost everyday to finally wake up.
"Bella…"
She calls me again. I flinched, suddenly my finger moved too.
A sudden blinding light flickered in the midst of the void I was in. The light was so intense that it sting. I closed my eyes, surrendering my fate to my destiny.
If I was meant to live, I'll live anyway.
My eyes slowly opened. A stunning woman with reddish blonde hair, exquisite sea green eyes, and a slender figure welcomed my sight. She was wearing a nurse's uniform.
"I'm glad you're awake, Bella." She told me.
The exact events of what happened before I lost my consciousness came crashing back on me. Alexandria's wedding… Then a man attempted to kill me..
"A couple found you sprawled on the highway, six months ago. They saved you and brought you here." The nurse said.
"Six months ago?" I stared at her in shock.
"You've been in a coma for six months." She explained. I was shocked. The events felt as if it just happened yesterday.
"If that's the case, how did you know my name is Bella?"
"I saw the tattoo on your neck. Belle means beautiful in French. I decided to call you Bella…"
The nurse laid her hand gently into my own. She looked deep into my eyes with her sad, tired eyes, and suddenly broke the news. "I'm sorry… You survived but your baby boy didn't make it."
Rendered frozen into place, my lips parted in shock. Lucas and I had a child, the realization hit me like a sharp bolt of lightning.
A tear fell from my cheeks then another and another…
The child I never had the chance to hold into my arms, I lost him too. I lost him in a far more painful way than I lost his father.
The heartache was too much for me to bear. I buried my face into my palms and succumbed into a heart-wrenching sob. The nurse consoled me but nothing she would say could make me feel better.
Days dragged on so slowly. Each day came and went, but the pain stayed with me. The weight on my chest continued to pile up until it grew heavier overtime.
During the day, I lie on the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling wondering why my life turned out this way. I'd been a good girl. I never treat anyone badly but still why am I miserable?
At night, I would wake up from my own screaming as the memories of the day I was shot came back to me. Then my eyes would open and I would?realize it was all a dream. I will return to sleep with my eyes still wet with tears. Then the same repetitive cycle continues as another day comes.
I found it difficult to start all over again and pretend nothing tragic ever happened when wherever I look, I was reminded of the child I lost. The child I should be holding into my arms and showering with love and affection which was denied to me since I was a child.
I was tired, mentally and emotionally tired to the point I was hoping the gunshot that hit right through my chest killed me instantly. Why live if everything that matters to me is all gone?
Night came again. I dreaded falling asleep in fear my nightmares would come and haunt me again. I turned the television on, and to my shock, Alexandria and Lucas were in the news. I saw how happy he was with her and it was what hurts the most.
I turned the television off. That was the last straw. I'm done with life.
With my foot bare, I padded out the door and traversed the seemingly endless hallways until I found the staircase. I climbed the stairs until I reached the rooftop of the ten storey building.
The cold wind brushed through my cheeks and seeped right through the thin layer of my hospital gown but numbness made me feel nothing at all.
My feet moved forward with nothing in my mind except ending my life.
I climbed on the rails and stood at the edge, the night lights flickered underneath me. My heart lurched forwards and I?turned my gaze away from the scene.
"Don't you dare jump." A voice behind me warned.
"Why live if everything that matters to me is gone?" I spat the words aloud without looking back.
"Why die if you still have a purpose you didn't realize you have?" He shot back.
"I lost my baby boy…" At the mention of my child, a hot stream of tears flooded my cheeks. ".... And the man I love married someone else…I don't want to live."
"It's not the end of the world…" He said.
For a moment I was furious. He didn't know what I felt?so how dare he tell me to move on with my life. It's easier said than done.
"I'm not coming down no matter what you say. I made up my mind." I said the words half screaming. My lips pursed into a stubborn line.
A long, heavy pause followed. I thought he was gone but the slight whisper of movement behind me told me he was still there.
Wordlessly, he climbed over the rails and stood?beside me on the edge. "Let's jump together." He announced.
I was shocked. Shocked is even an understatement. I was horrified.
"I lost my lost sister tonight." He began, "Car accident. I didn't have the chance to show her how much I love her. It was painful. She breathed her last while I was holding her hand. It's as if she took a part of me when she died. I was planning to end my life tonight when I found you. If I can't save you too, I have no reason to live anymore. I might as well jump off the rooftop and end my pitiful existence."
The words dug straight to my heart like a knife. I was wrong to judge him…
My gaze drifted to his face. He was tall. Good-looking. With golden blonde curly hair. He looked lost as tears drifted down his cheeks.
"I'm leaving for Cordova tomorrow. Come with me, I'll help you rebuild your life."
He held his hand, waiting for me to take it.
My life flashed right in front of me. Would I rather move forward and live life again or jump off this building and die a quick painful death?
Like an ordinary person I have dreams also. I longed to become a well-known musician or if it's possible a famous pianist too. I want to help build an orphanage and help abused and unfortunate children like me.
If I die now what good would it give me?
I took a deep, long breath and made a life changing decision. With tears streaming down my face, I took his hand, accepting?the brand new life he was offering. freewe bnovel.com
May god be with me to the new path I will traverse.
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