Chapter 34: The Fuss About Rice
Stiff shoulders.
This condition that can perhaps be said to be an incurable condition that plagues many Japanese people is actually a worry quite specific to Japan.
In the first place, the very concept of ‘stiff shoulders’ does not exist overseas, as foreigners are not conscious about it. Thus there are many who, after coming to Japan, learn of this condition and grow to become conscious of it.
(T/N: The author is up to his random trivia that may or may not be true again.)
“Ahh, right there, right there. Feels good~~”
And here is one such person—god, rather—with this worry.
It our chief goddess who resides in Takamagahara, Amaterasu-sama. She is currently having her shoulders thoroughly massaged and loosened up.
“What is it that you do to make your shoulders so stiff? Oba-ue’s physical build doesn’t seem like the kind to accumulate fatigue though.”
(T/N: ‘Oba-ue’ = respectful way to address an aunt)
The one who’s doing the massaging is the one who can almost be said to be representative of all earthly deities, Ookuninushi-sama.1
He was the god who ruled over Ashihara no Nakatsukuni until the descent of Amaterasu-sama’s grandson, and is a god who governs over agriculture, commerce, and also medicine, among others.
Incidentally, he is so handsome that his appearance caused Susanoo’s daughter Suserihime-sama to say “Dad, an amazing handsome ikemen has come!”
In response to which Susanoo-sama said “what, no, he is just totally ugly!” in full jealousy.
The Susanoo-sama who has already been revealed to be a mothercon and a siscon now has another new attribute added to his profile.
“More like, I came because there’s something I wanted to discuss with Sukunabikona, but why did I end up having to massage Oba-ue’s shoulders?!”
“Eh, cus Okkun is the god who governs healing.”
“Please don’t call over a doctor over stiff shoulders.”
So Ookuninushi-sama says, but to this day, stiff shoulders is still an incurable condition, as the specific cause and thus an effective treatment has yet to be determined.
In the case of females, the weight of their breasts is a contributing factor to stiff shoulders, but in Amaterasu-sama’s case this isnasd;lfjksf
“In Ane-ue’s case, it’s probably because she spends long periods of time lying down while using her laptop or positioning her laptop on her knees.”
“Which means all would be resolved if she’s banned from using her laptop.”
“How horrible?! If you do that then I’ll hole myself up in Ama-no-Iwato again!”
“When you have your laptop you hole yourself up anyways.”
“More like, can Oba-ue endure being locked up in a place without a laptop?”
“Unyuu......”
The eternally beautiful bishoujo Amaterasu-sama was ready to even go on strike to protect her ideals (internet access), but she is slammed with merciless tsukkomis from her younger brother and nephew-in-law.
Now even the eternally beautiful bishoujo Amaterasu-sama cannot say anything in return.
“Oh right! I can just bring my laptop into the cave......!”
“For sure Omoikane will just cut your internet line.”
“In the first place, there are no electric sockets inside the cave, right?”
“...... Go explode you ikemen!”
The tsukkomis that hit too close to home causes the eternally beautiful bishoujo Amaterasu-sama to lose her temper.
Today, too, Takamagahara is at peace.
“I heard that thanks to some god, someone has started growing a new species of rice in Keros.”
“Noted. Let’s go for an inspection now.”
“No, wait. Calm down, Asahi.”
In Galdeia Kingdom. A report that just came in causes the queen consort to stand up, which the king immediately stops.
If he didn’t stop her, she might have already flown off without even packing for a trip.
“Think about it calmly, Asahi. No matter how much you want to go, if Keros doesn’t give their acknowledgement, you won’t be able to cross the border.”
“No problem, I’ll go incognito. It’ll be fine. There’s no one more plain and inconspicuous as me.”
“More like, you’re so plain that you’re conspicuous.”
“Who do you think you are calling plain huh?!”
“But you said it about yourself first!!”
Today, too, the king and queen consort are quarreling with each other while getting along. It’s a wonderful thing when husband and wife are close.
Just as the king says, Ouhi-sama might be average from among Japanese people, but in this otherworld her appearance outs her as a foreigner at one glance so she is very conspicuous.
Incidentally, Onee is a foreigner too but is amazing in various ways so he’s even more conspicuous. But he’s Onee, so it cannot be helped.
“In any way. Even if you go now, harvest would still be a ways off. There’s nothing you can do even if you go ‘inspect.’”
“I’ll inspect and if there’s any issues I’ll give guidance and depending on the situation also financial support!!”
“How much do you intend to interfere with a neutral country?!”
Ouhi-sama is almost on the verge of rampaging at the news of rice. Japanese people do not get angry often, but they do get quite touchy when it comes to food so it cannot be helped.
Ouhi-sama loses her temper often even when food is not related, but let’s not worry about the small details.
“...... Gotta step out for some ‘Absolute Kingship.’”
“Take care.”
“Wait, what?! It’s still broad daylight!!”
In order to suppress the queen consort who is showing no sign of backing down, the king activates his ultimate weapon, ‘Absolute Kingship on the bed.’
Thus the queen consort is carried off on his shoulder.
Sexiness? Atmosphere? What’re those, are they delicious?
“I will teach you which one is more attractive between me and rice!”
“Don’t get all fired up on an incomprehensible competition!”
The king and queen consort may seem like they’re quarreling but actually they’re getting along very well.
Today, too, this otherworld is at peace.
1 Japanese gods are mainly separated between heavenly deities (ie. ones who come from Takamagahara) and earthly deities (ie. ones who come from the mortal realm).