Chapter 454: Do You Think You Are Also Cute if You Act the Same?
Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 454 Do You Think You Are Also Cute if You Act the Same?
"I got it," Kondo nodded and said. Then, he waved at the crowd and turned around. However, he suddenly thought of something. He turned around and asked, "Yorozuya, can I bring you Chris Hemsworth's autograph? As for Mr. Houichi, will Tessa Thompson work?"
"Got it your head!" Gintoki scolded, "And I don't like the new Men in Black at all! I only like the previous trilogy!
"Stop arguing!" Houichi couldn't help but shout, "That kind of thing doesn't matter! What's important is that I want you to see the next thing! Hurry up and follow! Bastards!"
This time, Kawaki and the others finally calmed down and silently followed Houichi again.
"As expected..." Kawaki shook his head and then sighed softly as he looked at Houichi who was walking in front of him, "Houichi likes new works. It's all Gintoki's fault for going too far just now and making him angry."
"Yes, Gintoki." Katsura closed his eyes and added, "No matter what, what you said just now was too much. It made Houichi angry when you reduced the new work to nothing. You must know that even if it is a sh*tty new work, some people will like it."
"No, you are the one who is the most excessive, right?" Gintoki was speechless and retorted, "You just call it sh*tty, you just call him a guy who likes sh*tty things. But then again, does he really like that kind of "sh*t"? His interest is really strange. "
"In my opinion, there is no difference between the two of you..." Kawaki said expressionlessly.
"But then again, is it really okay for us to wander around in this kind of place?" Gintoki asked while looking at Houichi, who was walking in the front, "Where does he want to take us?"
"Maybe he wants to take us to a cat store for a drink," Kawaki said casually.
"That's enough! There is no such store in the cat world!" Gintoki retorted.
"Then maybe he is planning to teach us how to hunt," Katsura said.
"Eh?" Gintoki let out a puzzled cry and looked at Houichi in front of him again, "Why does this guy want to do that? Wasn't he a violent guy who suddenly attacked us after we turned into cats and said it was a trial?"
"No, I have never experienced that kind of trial." Kawaki reminded.
"Shut up! Otaku cat!"
"Who is an otaku cat?! Do you want to die?!"
"Actually, I also have never experienced that kind of trial," Kondo said, "So strange."
"So strange your head!" Gintoki shouted, "You're not a cat, you're just a gorilla!"
"In fact, I have also been baptized, but I am very puzzled," Katsura continued, "I believe you two can also see that Houichi-dono wasn't serious at that time. And basically, all the new cats have received that baptism, but none of them have been seriously injured. He stops once you've shown you're brave enough to stand firm."
At this moment, a girl's cry suddenly came from below. At the same time, Kawaki and the others also noticed the scene below. At this time, a group of girls were chatting about some girly topics at the entrance of the alley.
"Look! It's a parade of cats!" A girl pointed at the four cats and one gorilla on the eaves of the alley.
Houichi, who was walking in front of the crowd, jumped down first and landed firmly in front of the girls.
"Oh my, isn't this Houichi?" Oryo, who was wearing a red checkered yukata, put her hands on her knees and leaned forward to look at Houichi, "Have you brought your friends out to play?"
Then, Oryo stretched out her hand. At the same time, Houichi also walked toward Oryo.
"Oryo, you know him?" A girl on the side asked doubtfully.
Oryo, who was constantly rubbing Houichi's chin, replied, "It's a stray cat that often comes to the store to ask for food."
As he spoke, Oryo began to stroke Houichi's head. Houichi also revealed an expression of great enjoyment. He continuously rubbed his head against Oryo's hand and let out a sound that only cats would make when they were very comfortable.
Looking at Houichi who was surrounded by girls below, Gintoki was in a bad mood.
"So...what's going on with that guy? Why is he so popular?" Gintoki retorted in surprise, "He's obviously just an uncle, and he's obviously so ugly!"
"Listen up," Houichi turned to look at Kawaki and the other cats, "You have to be selective when begging for food. Young girls are very good targets. Not only do they like cute things, but many people think that they are cute when they fawn over animals. Lonely-looking young men will also work. As well as curious, snot-nosed kids. Once you find your target, you have to please her and be cute. Listen! The most important thing is behavior, and the goal is to be ugly-cute!"
Looking at Houichi who was lying on the ground and enjoying the girls' belly touch, Kawaki said with a disdainful look, "No, I think you just want to be touched by girls, right? You old pervert!"
Just as Kawaki finished speaking, Kondo, who was at the side, could no longer hold it in and shouted excitedly, "Ugly-cute?! Is there such a dreamlike style in the animal world?! I will do it! My real home might be here!"
As he spoke, Kondo turned around and began to tidy himself up in a flurry. About two seconds later, Kondo, who had tidied himself up, turned around.
"How is it? Ugly-cute? Disgusting-cute?" Kondo, who was wearing a girl's uniform of an ice cream truck clerk with a yellow bow tied on his hair, tapped his cheek with two index fingers, shook his head from side to side, and asked Kawaki and others.
"It's ugly and disgusting," Gintoki replied silently, and then continued with a serious face, "It doesn't work at all! Your ugly factor is too strong! Normally, it will only make the situation worse! It will only make people hate you more!"
"What did you say?! Don't look down on gorilla!" Kondo retorted angrily, "Do you know the gorilla's scientific name?! It's "Gorilla gorilla gorilla"! It's gorilla all the way! A reincarnation ring of a gorilla! Please help me!"
(The scientific name for the eastern gorilla is Gorilla beringei, and the western gorilla's is Gorilla gorilla.)
"Calm down! Gorilla gorilla gorilla!" Katsura said, "We will only be defeated one by one if we act alone! Do you know Shimura Zoo? Just the chimpanzee walking with the puppy is very popular. We will use the orangutan and cat version of that! [Chimpanzee Shimura Guerrilla Combat!]"
(Shimura Zoo (Dogs and Gorillas Adventures): A Japanese variety show in which chimpanzees and bulldogs complete human daily tasks together. The hosts include Ken Shimura and others.)
"I see!"
"Then call Ken Shimura here at once!" Katsura continued.
"Got it! I'm off to Higashimurayama!" Kondo nodded and replied without hesitation.
(Higashimurayama: The hometown of the famous Japanese comedian, Ken Shimura.)
"Hey! This has nothing to do with that Shimura!" Gintoki complained angrily.
"Only when they see Shimura, Emperor of the Skit, laugh and cry will the audience be moved!" Katsura refuted it seriously.
"That would be Shimura's tear-jerking and shit-making battle!"
Just as Gintoki finished speaking, Kawaki's voice suddenly came from the side, "Hey, are you still discussing that completely useless battle plan?" Burp~"
"Did you go steal food again?!" Looking at the oil stain on Kawaki's mouth that had not yet been wiped clean, Gintoki scolded with spittle flying, "Can't you take us with you?! Bastard!"
"But I just saw you guys chatting so hard, so I couldn't bear to disturb you." Kawaki wiped his face with his paws and continued, "But I can tell you about the battle plan I used just now. Thanks to that, I was full. Burp~"
"Hey, Kawa," Houichi said quickly, "No, they can't do it. Only guys like you can use that method! Their level..."
Looking at Houichi's hesitant appearance, Gintoki felt an inexplicable fire in his heart, "What's wrong with our level?! Tell me clearly! Are you saying that the three of us can't compare to him?!"
"Yeah! Which part of us can't compare to him!" Kondo shouted in dissatisfaction.
"Don't look down on Samurai!" Katsura shouted.
"See? With their looks, it's useless even if you try to stop them." Kawaki said indifferently, "Alright, I'll give you the item I just used for free. If you want to try it, go ahead."
Half a minute later, Kawaki looked at the two cats in front of him and said, "Alright, it's done! Let's go!"
Gintoki, Katsura, and Kondo looked at the small wooden sign hanging on their chests and fell into a long silence.
Written on the sign:
[Service Items: Price]
[Chin Rub: 1000 yen]
[Head Pat: 2000 yen]
[Back Rub: 3000 yen]
[Belly Rub: 5000 yen]
[Disclaimer: The prices shown are for one minute. If it lasts for five minutes, you can get a 20% discount! Finally, please note that private parts are not allowed to be touched! If touched, a fine of 300 million will be imposed!!]
"What kind of black shop is this?!" Gintoki complained, "Isn't it too expensive? How could anyone come?"
"No, I made a lot of money by relying on this." Kawaki retorted, "I just went to Jojoen and had an all-you-can-eat meal. Burp~"
"How did a stray cat enter such a high-end barbecue restaurant?!" Gintoki shouted. Then he turned to look at Katsura and Kondo, "You two..."
Gintoki, who had just opened his mouth to say something, suddenly found that the two people were squatting on the roadside on the street, constantly greeting passers-by.
"Hohoho! (Miss, let's play together?)" Kondo kept throwing coquettish glances at the girls one by one, "Hohoho!" (Today is a discount~ As long as you have 500 yen, you can touch anywhere~)"
"Meow~ (New Shop is open. It only costs 400 yen for me to play with you for a long time~)" Katsura greeted, "Meow~(You can touch my paw pads as you like~)"
"The two of them... are really hopeless..." Gintoki silently ridiculed.
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