Chapter 396: The Fun of Card Games Is That You Never Know What Card You Will Draw Next
Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 396 The Fun of Card Games Is That You Never Know What Card You Will Draw Next
As soon as the host finished speaking, a smiling female staff wearing a light green yukata pushed a half-height small cart covered with red cloth and slowly came to the host's side.
The staff gently picked up the opaque metal cover on the cart, and the items inside were revealed - a bag of potato chips with Otsuu's image printed on it and a plate of heart-shaped potato chips on the side for display.
"This is what we will be using today!" The host explained in a timely manner, "Otsuu chips! ....Otsuu chips. Chips that aren't selling very well, or quite frankly, they aren't selling at all. We will have a card battle using the bonus cards that come with these chips!"
"A-A card battle?!" Shinpachi's body was in bad shape.
"The rules are very simple." The host picked up a card and continued, "These cards have images of Otsuu-chan in various poses. The cards have been assigned AP(Attack Powers) and DP(Defense Powers)."
"Why would idol cards have attack power and defense power?!?" Shinpachi complained with all his might.
"We will place them on this live stage...And you will fight through these holograms of Otsuu-chan!!"
"Why is fighting even involved?! And between two Otsuu-chan?!" Shinpachi complained crazily.
The host completely ignored Shinpachi's complaint and continued to introduce the rules of the competition, "Each player will be given 2000 life points. For each turn, you will each use a card, and the corresponding number of life points will be spent. The team whose life points reach zero first loses!!"
At this time, Shinpachi found that there was a duel disk on his arm! It was similar to the one in the YU**OH! At this time, Shinpachi realized that this was prepared by the organizers in advance! It was just that he had not noticed it before!
At the same time, Shinpachi also found that there were two real virtual reality systems appearing on the ground in front of him and Toshiro! It was really not unexpected at all! It was like something suddenly appeared in this scene that wasn't there in the previous scene. It was like it was already there!
"By the way, we won't be providing any cards!" The host continued, "As fans, you naturally have these cards on your person. The cards you have on you right now will be your playing hand!"
'N-Not good!' Shinpachi thought with a face full of sweat, 'I don't have a single one of those cards! Hell, I never even knew they were being sold! And didn't that bag say it was Indian Corn-poop flavored?! Are those even edible?!'
'... No, wait. Hijikata-san couldn't possibly have any of these cards....' Shinpachi thought about it again, and at the same time, he turned his eyes to Toshiro.
"Please set your cards and shuffle!" The host shouted.
At the same time, Shinpachi found that Toshiro had taken out a thick stack of cards and put them into the duel disk. After shuffling, he drew five cards!
"H-Hijikata-san!!" Shinpachi was in a bad mood. His face was full of black lines and his voice began to tremble, "Why do you have it? And there are so many of them!"
'That Hijikata-san... That Hijikata-san whose selling point is his ruthlessness... actually has so many Otsuu cards!' Shinpachi's heart was full of surprise.
'Even if I have to resort to any means, I will take myself back!' Toshiro's face was full of seriousness. Then, he gently raised the corner of his mouth and thought, 'It is impossible to become the overlord of otakus with half-informed awareness!'
'Hijikata-san...what a photogenic obsession,' Shinpachi thought to himself, 'Not good. Without a card, I can't fight!'
At this moment, the host announced the start of the third and final battle, and at the same time, it signaled the official start of the competition.
At this critical moment, Shinpachi thought of something and quickly turned to shout at Gintoki below the stage, "Gin-san! Go to the store! Go and buy a lot of Otsuu chips!"
Gintoki nodded, then turned around and rushed out, leaving only one sentence, "Wait!"
"Hmph, you really didn't bring any cards as expected. It's too late to try and assemble a deck now!!" Toshiro snorted and then picked one out of the five cards in his hand, "I have a complete set up to the third series of Otsuu chips! I'll finish this before you get any cards!!"
As he said that, Toshiro threw the card he had selected and inserted it into the virtual reality system on the ground in front of him. He then shouted, "This is my card!"
"The first to make a move is Tsusengumi's Otaku Tosshi!" The host who became the referee shouted, "His card is! Sentimental Five Minutes Before Curtain."
As soon as the host finished speaking, the virtual reality system in front of Toshiro sent out a card introduction: [Sentimental Five Minutes Before Curtain - Otsuu in her dressing room right before the beginning of a concert. She's a nervous wreck. She will indiscriminately attack anyone if given the opportunity. (Especially Kimura.) AP: 460, DP: 3]
"What kind of card is that?! You've revealing way too much stuff people don't want to hear about an idol! And who the hell is Kimura?!" Shinpachi complained crazily.
"As expected of Otaku Tosshi. He used a card with extremely strong attack power from the beginning!" The host once again perfectly ignored Shinpachi's complaint.
At this time, Toshiro's card gradually appeared. Then, they saw Otsuu-chan, who was wearing a very cute green yukata and holding a guitar in her hand. The translucent Otsuu-chan slowly appeared in the virtual reality system in front of Toshiro.
However, soon after, Otsuu-chan's hologram solidified in an instant. But, her appearance had also changed, and she became a somewhat stout aunt. Even her voice has become another person.
"Don't come into my dressing room without permission!!" [Otsuu-chan] shouted with an unhappy face. At the same time, she raised her guitar and threw it at Shinpachi.
Shinpachi, who had not expected to be directly attacked, could not dodge in time and could only lie down to avoid the attack.
"Why is a hologram attacking a real person?!" Shinpachi raised his head with lingering fear and complained.
However, [Otsuu-chan] did not stop what she was doing and continued to swing the guitar in her hand.
Seeing this, Shinpachi could only dodge in panic and complain with all his might, "And who the hell is she?! This doesn't look anything like the original! She looks like a totally different person!"
Looking at Shinpachi who was being chased around by [Otsuu-chan] on the stage, the host raised the microphone and reminded, "Shimura-san is completely helpless against the hologram Otsuu! It's Shimura-san's turn. If he doesn't deal with it quickly, his LP will be greatly reduced!"
Just as Shinpachi was being chased by [Otsuu-chan] and jumping up and down without any countermeasures, Gintoki's voice suddenly came from below the stage.
"Shinpachi!" Gintoki, who was running over with a pile of Otsuu chips, picked up a bag and threw it directly at Shinpachi.
"Gin-san! You've made it in time!" Shinpachi, who received the potato chips, responded. Then he took off the card bag on the back of the potato chips and tore open the package, "I don't have time to choose a card, so just use this one and go for it!!"
With that, Shinpachi threw the card that he had not had time to look at into the virtual reality system in front of him.
In a dazzling golden light, Shinpachi's card gradually showed up. A figure appeared in the light.
"This... this card is..." The host looked at the figure gradually showing up and shouted, "It's KIM! KIM the bass player!"
Looking at the dull-faced character in front of him, who was dressed in green clothes and even had green hair, Shinpachi's entire face began to twitch, "Who the hell is this?!"
[KIM the bass player. A member of Otsuu's backing band, which supports Otsuu behind the scenes. The bass player who also occasionally plays the castanets.]
"Why does it feel like I draw a pointless plain card?!" Shinpachi shouted a little crazily, but then he thought of something and asked, "What about the attack power? Does it have some kind of special ability?!"
[The mole on his face occasionally vanishes, but he's an enigmatic figure who remains silent when asked about it. (And his real name isn't KIM, but Chutaro Kimura.)]
"Isn't it that Kimura?!" Shinpachi madly complained, "Isn't it the Kimura who was used as a punching bag by Otsuu-chan just now?! The mole was obviously removed by Otsuu-chan, right?!"
"This card is a support card that has neither attack nor defense!" The host explained, "Its effect is to piss off all Otsuu cards in the field and double their attack power! The Sentimental Five Minutes Before Curtain's attack power doubled to 920!"
"Hey, what's with the mole?" [Otsuu-chan] looked at Kimura in front of Shinpachi with her veins popping out, "Is it some kind of switch? It's a damn eyesore!"
Without waiting for Shinpachi to react, [Otsuu-chan] rushed over. Her fist then smashed on [Kazuki]'s face.
[Kimura], along with Shinpachi behind him, was smashed to the ground at the same time by this punch, and only stopped after sliding a few meters on the ground.
"Shimura-san, what a regrettable mistake!" The host continued, "He ended up using a support card to double the attack power of his opponent's card! He has lost nearly half of his life points!"
"Shinpachi!" Kagura, who had two small mustaches and a black eye patch on her left eye, was currently cosplaying a certain character in Tomorrow's Joe(Ashita no Joe) as she shouted at Shinpachi while eating potato chips.
"What are you doing, fool?!" Gintoki, who was dressed in the same outfit, clenched his fists and shouted exaggeratedly, "You gotta throw inside punches! Have you already burned out?! Bastard!!"
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