Chapter 776 I Know What It’s Like
It had been weeks since Sadie had begun calling Peter and Myka her dads when Stefan called his meeting. It was there, in front of everyone, that Peter first learned that Sadie had felt the way she did. As Stefan tried to make the others understand that he was responsible for his own injuries, Sadie spoke up.
“It wasn’t Ashleigh’s fault that I got hurt,” Sadie said, her soft voice a little louder than usual.
“It’s all right, Sadie,” Axel said sweetly, turning toward the girl. “No one is trying to say that Ashleigh meant for any of you to get hurt.”
Sadie shook her head.
“No,” she said. “Stefan is right. We made our own choices. I ran toward the tree, all by myself.”
“There is no way you could have known about the treant, Sadie,” Corrine replied gently.
“No,” Sadie replied, “but I know better than to rush forward on my own in a place I’m not familiar with.”
Sadie looked up at Myka.
“My daddy has always been very clear about that. Knowing your surroundings is one of the first rules of survival.”
Myka smiled and nodded.
Sadie chewed her bottom lip and then took a deep breath before continuing.
“I knew I shouldn’t, but when I saw the lemonberry… I didn’t care. I ignored safety and ran for it.”
Myka leaned down and kissed the top of Sadie’s head.
“Like I said,” Corrine replied gently, “you had no way of knowing about the treant.”
“You don’t understand,” Sadie sighed in frustration. “I would have gone even if I did!”
Sitting on the other side of her, Peter’s eyes widened.
“Why would you think that?” he asked, tilting his head to meet Sadie’s eyes.
Sadie licked her lips. She lowered her eyes.
“I would’ve risked anything to get a lemonberry,” she said quietly.
Peter felt a painful jolt in his chest at the thought that she would put her life at risk for some fruit. He reached out and lifted her chin until their eyes met again.
“Why?” he asked.
Sadie’s eyes were filled with unshed tears, and a painful feeling grew in Peter’s chest again. He could see that she was hurting, that she was holding on to something that was eating away at her. He touched her cheeks, wiped her tears with his thumbs, and gave her a gentle smile.
“You can tell me anything,” he whispered. “You know that, right?”
Sadie swallowed and nodded.
“Then tell me,” he smiled warmly, “why would you be willing to risk your life for a piece of fruit?”
Sadie took a shaky breath.
“Because,” she whispered. “Your grandma and your mom both found it… and I thought… if I did too… if I brought it back to you… you might… really want to be my dad.”
Peter’s chest ached at the words. With a pained gasp, he pulled her into his arms and held her tight.
He knew that building their family had been a struggle. They each came with their own traumas, losses, and pain. Myka and Peter were still finding their place with each other when they opened their home and hearts to Sadie and Stefan.
There wasn’t even a moment of regret. Peter knew from the first day he met Sadie that he wanted to keep her safe, he had a similar feeling with Stefan. He never tried to push them too hard or too fast. He knew they needed to accept him in their own time and way.
But he never expected that Sadie was struggling with these kinds of fears.
Peter had always struggled with expressing himself to others. Most people he was close to understood that, and they knew what he meant when he joked with them. Even Myka knew that every time Peter called him an idiot, he was telling him, in his own way, that he loved him.
But Sadie and Stefan didn’t know. How could they? They were children, and they needed reassurance and honesty.
Tears ran down Peter’s face as he kissed Sadie’s head.
“I have wanted to be your dad since we met,” he whispered. “You have never needed to do anything or be anyone other than yourself. I love you, Sadie.”
Sadie let out a sob, hugging Peter tightly as she cried against his chest.
Peter lifted his head and turned to look at Stefan.
“The same goes for you,” he stated. “I love you, Stefan, just as you are.”
Stefan swallowed and nodded.
“I know,” he smiled weakly before looking back down at Sadie.
Myka wanted to comfort his family, to take them all into his arms, and reassure them that everything would be all right.
But right now, they were not alone. He sat forward on the couch, blocking Peter and Sadie from view as he cleared his throat and looked at Stefan.
“You were saying?” he smiled.
Peter took a shaky breath as the memory fell away, and he returned to the dinner table, sitting beside Ashleigh.
He settled himself and then turned to look at her.
“I have no choice but to forgive you,” he said, “Guilt is a gluttonous beast with an endless stomach, and I have no interest in being consumed by it.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows, and Peter smiled.
“If I blame you for their injuries, then I have to blame myself too,” he said. “If I had paid more attention to Sadie’s feelings, she wouldn’t have felt so desperate to find that fruit. She would have been more careful, and Stefan wouldn’t have had to watch her get dragged away and put himself at risk to save her later.”
Ashleigh shook her head.
“You couldn’t have known she was going to be in danger. You weren’t even there,” she said.
“Maybe I should have been,” Peter said. “I knew you weren’t okay. We all did. We all saw the warning signs. I didn’t want Myka or the kids to go. I was scared. But I didn’t stop them, and I didn’t go with them.”
Peter licked his lips and lowered his eyes.
“My daughter was feeling unwanted and unloved, and I had no idea,” he sighed.
He closed his eyes briefly and slowly took a deep breath, letting it back out through his nose.
“How can I blame you for not seeing all the danger when I couldn’t even see that?” he asked.
Ashleigh could only reach out and hold Peter’s hand. She didn’t know what to say.
“We were all going through something at that time,” Peter said, then with a light chuckle, he added, “You were just the most vocal about it.”
Ashleigh smiled.
After a silent moment, Peter turned to look at Ashleigh. He reached up and touched her cheek.
“Myka and I don't blame you, and our children don’t blame you. They never did,” Peter continued. “So, maybe now is the time to stop blaming yourself?”
He smiled at her.
“Caleb’s back,” he continued. “The impossible has happened, and you’ve been given a second chance.”
Peter turned to look at Myka across the room. His bright smile as he laughed at something Caleb said. Peter couldn’t help but feel the warmth in his chest.
“I know what it’s like,” he whispered.
Peter turned back to Ashleigh, a tender smile on his face.
“You've already experienced a life without him,” he said softly. “Don’t waste any more of the time you have left together on regrets.”
Ashleigh took a heavy breath as the tears fell from her eyes again. Her chest felt tight, but it was good. It was a pain of gratitude, of disbelief at how lucky she was.
Peter took a deep breath and turned away from her.
“Enough,” he sighed. “I’m tired, and that idiot will just keep talking all night if I don’t stop him.”
Peter stood up from his chair, smoothing his shirt and turning to walk away. But Ashleigh reached out and grabbed his hand. He turned to look back at her. She was already up and had moved toward him. Ashleigh wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, drawing a shocked gasp from Peter's lips.
“Thank you,” Ashleigh whispered. “I would have understood if you never forgave me, and you didn’t have to tell me any of this at all… so thank you.”
Peter sighed with a warm smile and returned the hug.
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