Chapter 863: Get To Know
Hyson put his head on the table as he eavesdropped without any psychological burden at all. He didn't know who to feel sorry for there. In the end, he thought the dumb duo didn't deserve it so he started feeling sorry for his brother Shuyi whom he pulled into this mess.
He looked down at his phone as he muttered to himself, "Why aren't you here already? Slowpoke! If he kept this up, he'll really miss this train!"
"Shuyi," Xiang Wai called out.
"Hm?"
"Do you think I'm not really girlfriend material?"
He gave her a strange look, "No." Her face well and he continued, "You're definitely wife material. You shouldn't doubt yourself because of my words." He took a brief pause before telling, "You know very well that at some point, even I had a crush on you. And I certainly wasn't alone. Just because a relationship didn't work, you shouldn't stop believing in yourself."
"It wasn't just a relationship," she said. "It was everything to me."
"And maybe that's why you couldn't keep it," he replied. "Life has many things to offer but since you obsessively ran after a relationship, it kept drifting away from you."
"I don't know. I used to think it was his fault. It was his fault that he couldn't see my love for him and he couldn't love me. I thought it was because of this that we broke up. But now... I'm not so sure anymore. Was it his fault? Was it really all his fault? If I'm the one who obsessively held on to that relationship then I'm also the one who gave up on that relationship first. I thought once I let go, I'll be freeing myself. But I don't feel free. I feel lost."
"You're a very impulsive person, Wai," said Huang Shuyi. "I stayed with you for years and that's why I can say it with certainty that you're impulsive. When you asked him out, you're impulsive because you wanted someone to belong only to you. You're also not good with words or making yourself clear, and I'm sure that's one of the reasons there was a distance between you and him. You wanted him to belong to you but you never made yourself clear. You have this tyrannical temperament and you think as long as you're acting like the overlord, everything will be fine. You acted like the overlord and pulled him into a relationship then you acted like an overlord and cut yourself off from the relationship. Have you ever considered his point of view regarding both situations? Whether it was to date you or break up with you, was he ready for both?"
"I hate it when you're right," she said. "It was better when you focused on sleeping more and pretended like you couldn't hear my chattering."
"But I always did," he replied. "Who asked you to only have a friend like me? Only I was willing to listen to your chattering."
"No, it wasn't because you're willing to listen that I came to you," she told him. "It was because you never tried to give me your opinions. You only acted like you were asleep while I talk beside you. And whenever I'd ask something, you'd just casually hum along."
Huang Shuyi sighed, "I miss those days."
"Being my deskmate?" she inquired.
"No, when I could sleep without any care," he replied. "Life was really simple. The only annoying fly in my life was you. Now, I have to deal with so many flies every day. It's tiring." He took a deep breath and asked seriously, "Wai, tell me, do you still love him?"
"What do you think?" she asked in return.
"I want you to give me an honest answer," he said. "You have to say it in words. If you don't say it, what I think won't really matter."
Xiang Wai avoided his eyes but when she met his eyes, she said with determination, "I have never stopped loving him. Maybe it'll sound funny or unbelievable to most people but for me, the definition of love had always been Zhai Yanjun. I don't know anything else about love. And my heart is certainly not ready to learn about love all over again. Yes, I felt hurt. I felt like I was wasting my time. But whenever I was with him, I'd always forget everything else."
"Now, it'd have been so much easier if you had said this to him," said Huang Shuyi. "He isn't clairvoyant. You might think sometimes gestures are enough to show your heart but people need words. Clear words. When you're in a relationship, vagueness shouldn't exist."
Xiang Wai suddenly chuckled, "You must be the world's first person on a blind date who is actually trying to pair up his blind date with her ex."
Huang Shuyi rolled his eyes at her, "I'm speaking as your friend. As someone who knows you and as someone who genuinely cares about you. Apart from me, no one else knows for how long you have loved Zhai Yanjun. Perhaps, even he doesn't know. And I'm also someone who knows what he really means to you. It's a shame but as your friend, I couldn't help you at all when you're struggling to find your presence in your family. But he made you realize that he'd be your family and you'd be okay with that. So, how can I not try to help you? Oh, and trust me, he loves you more than you think."
Xiang Wai was shocked by his statement. "How are you so sure that he loves me?" She really thought he was talking nonsense now.
"Want to know?" he asked as he raised his brow with a mysterious look making her feel uneasy for some reason. She really couldn't tell what he was up to. He suddenly extended his hand and held hers gently. With a loving gaze, he said, "How about we get to know about his feelings deeply?"