After saying that Xiang Wai didn't feel like talking again. She actually regretted asking him out. As she looked at his face, she was lost in deep thought. In that one minute, she seemed to have seen the last ten years of their relationship flash past her eyes.
If she was being honest, they never had a perfect relationship. There was nothing sweet about their relationship either. But she wondered why she insisted on dragging it for so long. As her eyes gained focus and she looked at his face, that's when it struck her. Ah! He was the reason she insisted on dragging the flawed relationship they shared.
Taking a deep breath Zhai Yanjun asked, "Why did you call me out?" He didn't wait for her response and added, "If you want to get back together, that's not happening."
Xiang Wai snickered, "I'm not that desperate." She felt like laughing at herself as went on, "I was the one who always asked for reconciliation but that doesn't mean I'll do it again." She had no such desire left inside of her. "If you have forgotten, let me remind you. When the very first time we got together, I told you, if one day you asked me to walk out of your life. I will do it!" She sighed out, "Our previous breakups were my doing and that's why I was willing to go back to you again and again. This time, you're the one who asked to end this relationship."
With her reminder, Zhai Yanjun did seem to recall those words. Indeed, she had said that she'll walk out once he asked her to and that'd be the end of it. And it was also true that in their relationship of ten years, it was the first time he had initiated the breakup. It gave him inexplicable feeling suddenly.
He tried to control his feelings and asked, "Then why did you call me out?"
"To ask why you're avoiding me," she replied straightforwardly. "It's not like murdered someone. You seem to be running from me."
"When did I?" he retorted.
Xiang Wai rolled her eyes in an unladylike manner, "Do I have to remind you of that too? Let's take today for instance. As soon as you saw me, you tried to run away. Am I wrong?"
"Yes," his voice raised since he was trying to hide his guilty conscience. "You're wrong. I wasn't running from you. I just forgot something and wanted to go back to get it."
Xiang Wai continued to look at him intently, "I have shared a bed with you for years. Do you really think I can't tell when you're lying?"
That shut up Zhai Yanjun instantly. Indeed, they had shared a bed for so long, how could she not be able to tell when he was lying? Especially when she was already very good at reading people. It was a lot easier for her to read him.
Xiang Wai didn't wait for his answer and waved her hand saying, "Let's forget about it. Whatever the reason is, you have to get over it. My brother is staying with your family, if you kept up this act, it'll make it very difficult for me. Don't make it more complicated than it already is. You know very well that I hate complicated things."
"Is that reason why it was so easy for you to move on from our relationship?" he asked. "Because it was complicated, you decided to give up on it?"
"I might be the biggest person in anyone's life but you!" she started with a leveled tone but her aura was raging now. "You don't get to call me a villain. Not now! Not ever!"
Zhai Yanjun wanted to laugh at himself. Was he really not supposed to call her a villain? He asked for a separation and she agreed. Just when he wanted her to hold on, she didn't even make an effort to do so. She just chose to let him go. But suddenly he didn't know whether he was supposed to blame her for that or not? She had always been like that.
Since he was the one asking for a breakup, she'd do nothing about it. She'd never beg for something even if she needed it the most in her life. She never even bothered asking for her mother when she needed her the most.
But just because of that one thing, he really didn't get to label her as a villain. Just as she had said, she might be the villain to anyone in this world but not him.
Gathering up his thoughts, Zhai Yanjun looked at her deeply and asked, "I have a question. Do you mind answering it honestly?"
"Go ahead," she said.
"Have you ever loved me?" he questioned.
Xiang Wai found this question to be quite funny. So funny that she actually ended up laughing out loud. There seemed to be tears in her eyes which she wiped with the back of her hand as she faced him. No one could tell the tears were from laughing so much or because of some other reason.
She placed her hands on the table and asked, "What do you think? Do you really even have to ask that question? Shouldn't you know it better whether I have loved you or not? It's not like you couldn't feel it yourself."
Zhai Yanjun couldn't argue with that. There had never been a time when she had made him question her feelings for him. She had always been the kind of person who would show her feelings outrightly. She didn't have to conceal anything. While it's true that she had never been vocal about her feelings, she would do everything else to show her feelings.
"But if you still want to hear it," said Xiang Wai. "Then I don't mind telling you that I've loved you.. I might be a fool but I'm not foolish enough to waste my youth on a boy I didn't even love." She leaned on the table as she stared right into his eyes, "What about you, Yanjun? Have you ever loved me?"
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