This was the very first time for Shui Xian to learn something about Raelle's parents. She told him what she had learned from her grandfather and Mu Chenyan without hiding any detail of it. She didn't even realize what kind of an impact it had on Shui Xian who was still trying to figure out exactly who was in the wrong back then?
Was it Song Xin'ai? Who chose not to choose her own daughter?
Was it Xiang Hulin? Who was just trying to save his marriage?
Or was it Wanda Wu? Who lost her life just to protect her granddaughter?
Or it was Elder Xiang? Who just wanted to keep the promise he gave to his dying wife?
In the end, he couldn't figure out, whom he was supposed to blame in all this? Perhaps, in a way, all of them had done something wrong. But who suffered from it? Was it the woman he was currently holding in his arms? Yes, that's right. No matter what decisions all those people took back then, the person who was most affected was Raelle.
He stared at the side of her face and felt a bitter taste in his mouth since it seemed like even Raelle didn't think there was anything wrong with that whole situation or how it ended. But then again, she could even reasonably analyze why a mother chose to give up her own daughter, how could he be surprised by this?
He shook his head and sighed out, "Don't you think your grandmother did something wrong by keeping you away from your parents?"
"No," answered Raelle. "She gave me this life. I am the last person in this world who gets to question why she did what she did."
Shui Xian was taken aback by her answer. He somehow felt like she was right. Indeed, she really couldn't question her grandmother of all people. She just couldn't.
"Besides, even if I keep my grandmother out of this," she looked into his eyes and went on, "My father would have never been able to give me the love I needed. After all, his guilt towards me would have always overpowered his love for me. By pushing him out of my life, my grandmother wasn't exactly punishing him. She was protecting me."
Shui Xian didn't know what to say to that. It was true that he understood that if Madam Xiang hadn't pushed Xiang Hulin away, Raelle still wouldn't have had a complete family. After all, her parents were already about to divorce.
"Anyway, this story had nothing to do with your original question," said Raelle. "I just told you this story because you seemed like you wanted to know." She leaned her head back on his shoulder and played with his fingers as she started, "The second time I was kidnapped was when I was six years old. Back then, I wasn't allowed to leave the house on my own. After all, I was young. One day, I just wanted to go out but neither Opa nor Yanyan were at home. I took a housemaid with me and went out."
Even if it had been years, the memory was still vivid in Raelle's brain. She could remember every single detail of her life from the time she had started understanding things. At that time, she was six. She wasn't really a baby, who knew nothing, especially with her level of intelligence.
It was just supposed to be a short walk to the nearest bookstore but it ended up in a sticky situation. They had run into human traffickers. To save her own life, the housemaid actually pushed the little Raelle towards the human traffickers and ran away.
"Those people brought me to a ship where a lot of other kids my age were placed in cages. And just like that, I was also pushed into one of those cages," said Raelle with no expression on her face. Her voice and eyes were still as devoid of emotions as ever. She still gave off a feeling that it didn't concern her at all.
"I spent 8 hours in that cage before Yanyan came to my rescue," she told Raelle. "In those 8 hours, I was surrounded by the sound of whimpers, crying, screams of other children who were there." Shui Xian's hands started shaking as he clenched his jaw. "The ship was damp, dark, and dirty. And every time the children tried to cry, someone would come with a steel rod and knock it against the cage. That buzzing sound of the steel rod hitting the cage was really unpleasant. It felt like it tried to pierce through every single metal defense one had. In those 8 hours, that man hit the steel rod exactly 308 times against my cage."
Shui Xian didn't even realize it himself but his arms around her waist had tightened. He couldn't help it. He felt like he was living that moment with her and yet, he couldn't possibly imagine what she went through at that time. He could hardly remember what he was doing when he was six years old but she was different. Wasn't it torture that her brain couldn't even remove such unpleasant memories?
Raelle slid her fingers through his and interlocked their hands as she brought up their hand and dropped a kiss on the back of his hand as she added, "Well, now you know why I became so sensitive to sounds. It's true that I don't really enjoy music. It is also just noise to me. Too loud for me. But it has gotten better now. I am not as sensitive as before."
To be honest, Shui Xian wasn't feeling good after listening to these two stories. But he managed to learn a lot about her. One of the facts he realized was, why she always kept her distance from the house help. It was the betrayal of that one maid that made her keep her distance from the rest. Better safe than sorry!
"Let's go to sleep," said Raelle.
"Huh?" Shui Xian came out of his thoughts. "But what about the third time?"
Raelle kissed his jaw saying, "I don't think you're in the condition to hear anymore."
Only then did Shui Xian notice that he was actually sweating profusely and his whole body was shaking badly. Perhaps, he felt more listening to it all than Raelle who had been through it all.
"Let's continue the third one tomorrow," added Raelle.. "This much is enough for today."
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