Chapter 1158 [Bonus chapter] I Am Such A Person
Shui Xian seemed to be reliving those moments all over again at that moment. Each and every moment where he told those words to his mother was replaying in his mind and making him more and more uncomfortable.
'You might have thought that I had selfish intentions and wanted to control you but it was never my intention. Why would I want to control your life? Did I have nothing better to do in life? Do you really think my life revolved around you that much?
The truth is, my dear son, my life didn't revolve around you. I love you. I really do. But I had more important things in my life too. So, why would I waste my time on you and your stupid love life?
I'd rather take that time to go and find my lost sister out there!'
Shui Xian pursed his lips when he read that and he could feel that if his mother was here, he'd really poke his forehead and tell him all this. But he also wanted to tell her that her lost sister was back. Yue Yue wasn't lost. She was with them and had a son too.
'I'll tell you honestly, I was very disappointed when you told me to stop controlling you or dictating your life. Just trying to stop you from going through the pain that I went through, I became your enemy. I didn't mind it all that much as long as I could still save you from the pain.
Eventually, it seemed it wasn't possible.
You might think that parents just want to control their kids but the truth is not always like that. There are indeed some heartless ones who do want to control their kids but I was never a part of those heartless ones. But I have always been selfish. If I wasn't selfish, I wouldn't get my brother killed because of my love.
When it came to you, I was selfish again. But then again, all parents are selfish when it comes to their kids. You're a part of me. Do you really think I want to see you unhappy? No, I never did. My selfishness was only this that I wanted to see you happy. That's it.
That was all that I wished for in my life.
You can't possibly say that I was wrong for being this selfish. When you have your own kid, you'd understand that when you love your kids, you really become a little more selfish than usual.
No one knows the Tang family better than me. I have no doubt that they'd play evil games again if you insisted on marrying Tang Hebe. I have seen their true faces. They are all demons in the skin of humans who put their own interests above everything and I would never doubt that they can use Tang Hebe as a chess piece to hurt you and to hurt me through you.
Why?
You might have not noticed but over the years, I and your father have always tried to suppress the Tang family in the business. We always did and we always succeeded. After all, the real pillar of their success had long abandoned them. Or it's better to say that they made him so disappointed that he left.'
Shui Xian felt complicated when she mentioned this. She knew she was talking about Tang Hebe's uncle who was her first love too. Because he did learn from Mu Chenyan that only that person could really take the Tang family to the next height of success. It's sad that his own family plotted against him and he fell for it.
All because the people after him were his most trusted ones... His own family.
'Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about your relationship with Tang Hebe. You said it could succeed because of love? But, my dear son, I learned from experience that feelings aren't the most necessary part of a happy life. Feelings aren't essential because they can also change over time. You never know and you can never have a guarantee of things like feelings that you can't even see or touch.
You can hold Tang Hebe's hand to face the world but for how long? How long can you resist the hatred that the two families share? Do you really think you can shake off everything and pretend like this have nothing to do with you? But how tiring would it be to resist? And can you do it for a lifetime? Eventually, resentment will slowly creep up between the walls of love.
I'll tell you honestly when I decided to stay back and not leave the country with my family back then. It wasn't just because I was embarrassed or guilty. It was because I wanted revenge. I wanted to kill everyone from the Tang family. And I did plan everything for that too. I was all ready to burn their Tang House to ashes and burn along with them but an anomaly came between my plan and me.
It was all your father's fault for running to me with different excuses every other day to brush up his presence and eventually making me realize how foolish I was to think that by ending myself and ending the whole Tang family, everything will end. Even if I hated them, I couldn't make myself suffer with them.'
Shui Xian was startled when he read these words and his eyes widened in shock. He always looked at his mother as capable, well-behaved, elegant, soft-spoken, and independent. Where did he know that his mother also had such a side?
He never even realized that the fire of hatred in his mother's heart for the Tang family was inextinguishable. No matter what he said or did, she'd never stop hating everyone related to the Tang family. It was already her being nice that she never really did anything to Tang Hebe and let her go with just her words.
But if it wasn't for her upbringing, he had no doubt that his mother might have even stretched out her hands to Tang Hebe.
This thought really subverted his views regarding his mother.
'You think I won't do it? But you don't know. I am such a person. I was fully capable of going to extremes.'
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