Chapter 89 - Mutter
An Zhe was in the car.
The morning light entered the armoured vehicle from the skylight.
This was the fourth time that he had gone to the Abyss with Lu Feng.
He woke up but he didn’t get up. He couldn’t get up. He wrapped himself in the quilt and didn’t leave it until Lu Feng placed a glass of milk in front of him.
Lu Feng asked, “Are you feeling better?”
An Zhe nodded.
“Does it still hurt?”
An Zhe shook his head. After shaking his head, he nodded again.
Lu Feng slightly frowned and came to An Zhe. He reached for the thin quilt and An Zhe let him pull it away.
The quilt was made of a delicate fabric that was smooth and soft but it seemed rough compared to the crystal white skin.
This skin was now covered in marks. The slightly lower part of the left chest had a place with broken skin and it was red. Originally, there was nothing wrong with this. An Zhe got up in the morning and put on his coat, but the material happened to rub against this wound. It had stung and An Zhe let out a small gasp of pain.
Lu Feng opened the drawer, took out alcohol and cleaned a cotton ball. Then he applied the medicine. Thus, the skin on the chest reddened again. This soft skin was too delicate, like a white mushroom growing in the rainy season whose juices would flow out when pinched.
After applying the medicine, the wound was cold and An Zhe wrapped himself tightly in the quilt again. Lu Feng embraced him across the quilt and he leaned his head against Lu Feng’s right shoulder, leaning on this person.
—Suddenly, An Zhe realized that this man was the culprit of the wound and that he shouldn’t live with him peacefully. An Zhe tried to withdraw but he was already held by Lu Feng. He struggled to no avail. In the process, the fabric of the quilt rubbed against his wound.
“Don’t move,” Lu Feng ordered.
An Zhe, “……”
Not only did this person’s tone not contain the slightest bit of guilt, he seemed to be criticizing An Zhe for moving. Too abominable.
The moment he raised his eyes, he could see Lu Feng’s neck and Adam’s Apple—he grinded his teeth against it.
Lu Feng just hugged him tighter and he couldn’t move at all. An Zhe thought about it and was still very unhappy. This wasn’t a momentary unhappiness but a gradual and progressive one over many days. He had always wanted to find Lu Feng. It was just worth mentioning now that he had a wound.
He sullenly stated, “You’re too fierce.”
Lu Feng wondered, “Is it?”
“No.” Lu Feng pulled him closer. “I have paid attention.”
An Zhe, “?”
If this was the consequence when he was paying attention, what about when he wasn’t paying attention? Did he want to take a person apart and eat them?
An Zhe frowned. "Impossible."
"I struggle every time you go too far." An Zhe added, "I also cry."
Lu Feng watched him.
"Then you ignore me. You will also become more ferocious."
The new day started with being criticized by the little mushroom. Lu Feng looked down at the mushroom in his arms. This person's voice was soft and sweet as he muttered a complaint. An Zhe was finished but Lu Feng still wanted to hear him speak more. Thus, he asked, "Is there anything else?"
An Zhe glared at him, meaning ‘this isn’t enough?’
Lu Feng told him, “I thought this was the way to care for you.”
An Zhe, “?”
He wondered, “Is it?”
“Yes,” Lu Feng told him. “You should learn to control your behaviour.”
An Zhe, “?”
There was no way he had done something wrong.
He stared at Lu Feng, voice cold as he stated clearly, “You have a problem.”
“You see, you are being coquettish again.”
An Zhe confirmed that he and Lu Feng truly were different species. If he could reach for the pillow, the first thing he would do was throw the pillow at Lu Feng’s face. However, now both hands were being held by Lu Feng and he could only use his eyes.
After a long time, Lu Feng smiled first. He bowed his head to kiss the corner of An Zhe’s lips. An Zhe turned his head to avoid it but he was restrained. His chin was raised and he was kissed deeply until he couldn’t breathe. Then Lu Feng gently kissed the corner of his eyes.
Lu Feng breathed on the side of An Zhe’s ears and no longer touched him across the quilt. Lu Feng’s right hand went inside and held him by the waist. There must still be the red mark from last night there.
An Zhe trembled and opened his mouth. “No.”
“I can’t hear you.”
An Zhe said again, “Then you can’t see it every time I cry?”
“I’m not hitting you,” this man stated. “It is no use crying.”
—The new day began with the colonel being silently cursed.
An Zhe was still in the car.
The starlight entered the armoured vehicle from the skylight.
This was the fourth time that he had gone to the Abyss with Lu Feng.
Once An Zhe muttered for the third time, the colonel offered a solution. He was expressionless as he leaned back against the bed. “You do it yourself.”
His tone seemed like he was back at the genetic testing station at the city’s gate, next to the testing equipment as he said, “You come on your own.”
An Zhe faced him. After hesitating for a moment, a few mycelium crept toward the colonel. Then he leaned over to kiss the colonel’s throat. He kissed the side of the colonel’s neck while pondering on the next step.
Then he realized that while he was wearing loose white pyjamas, the colonel was still neatly dressed. Thus, An Zhe started to fight with the shirt buttons.
He was familiar with this shirt. After all, he was a heartless washing machine. However, this shirt didn’t open despite the relationship between them. It became even more difficult to undo the buttons thanks to the angle.
After finally undoing the first one, he told Lu Feng, “You do it yourself.”
It was just like Lu Feng sometimes spoke to him. Colonel Lu was unmoved. The mycelium climbed up a bit more. The colonel eventually condescended to undo the second button himself. Meanwhile, An Zhe continued to think.
“A person who comes out of the third underground floor—” he heard Lu Feng’s voice that was filled with a slight laugh and a bit of hoarseness. “—should be more skilled.”
An Zhe, “……”
He whispered, “I didn’t learn anything.”
He couldn’t go back and study again.
“I can see.” Lu Feng said. There was a distinct magnetic field in his voice when he lowered it. This set off a stimulus in An Zhe from his ears to the bottom of his spine.
Thus, he remembered the events of that year. The first time he met, he had said that he worked on the third underground floor. Then the colonel had replied with an ‘oh.’ An Zhe was curious about the colonel’s impression of him at that time.
The colonel seemed to read his meaning and said, “At that time, it wasn’t clear that you are a mushroom. I thought that if you weren’t doing those things on the third floor, you wouldn’t be able to live at the base.”
He casually glanced at An Zhe and continued, “It seems that even now, you can’t support yourself.”
There were a few more mycelium.
The colonel stopped talking. An Zhe’s biggest wish was for the colonel to be unable to speak, just like his doll.
An Zhe’s thin white fingers were resting on Lu Feng’s chest. He wanted to hold Lu Feng’s hand after the buttons were undone. Then he saw the colonel looking there as if thinking about something. It was an expression he only had when thinking about business.
A few seconds later, Lu Feng stated, “I was fooled by you before.”
An Zhe cocked his head.
“You didn’t even know about the crime of indecent assault and you were an illegal worker with a monthly salary lower than the minimum.” The colonel counted off these things thoughtfully. “This can’t be explained by a simple and limited intelligence.”
An Zhe, “…”
He ordered, “You stop.”
However, it was clear that the colonel’s hearing was selective.
“That night was also abnormal. You invited me to stay at your place.”
“It was because you had no place to go.”
“The problem was that you gave me your toothbrush. You didn’t understand human social etiquette at all.”
An Zhe didn’t speak, like his hearing had also become selective.
“Unless it was a poor flirting method you learned on the third floor. But you were good that night.”
An Zhe knew the colonel was talking about the night of Judgment Day. He invited the man to sleep in his room all night.
An Zhe went to hug Lu Feng. His forehead was against this person’s chest and there was a warm and strong touch through the cloth. An Zhe could hear the steady heartbeat in his ears. The past was like a dream.
An Zhe envisioned another possibility.
“Then.” An Zhe paused. “If at that time…”
If at that time, he was really wrong—
If he was really a worker of the third underground floor or if he was a mushroom without thoughts, blinding following Boss Shaw’s advice and approaching the Judge—what would Lu Feng do that night?
A heterogeneous with ulterior motives and the Judge with nowhere to go.
At that time, they didn’t know each other well and were on guard against each other. It was a time of death, protests and betrayal. What if at that time, An Zhe had leaned over to kiss Lu Feng or unbuttoned his coat?
An Zhe didn’t know. He only knew that today, thinking of Lu Feng’s back on the night of Judgement Day, his heart trembled violently. He stared into the green eyes, as if returning to the moment when the bloody night wind roared across the city.
Therefore, that expression appeared on his face again. The quiet, sad expression.
God loved the world.
God didn’t love the world.
The bed, desk and furnishings in this place were all set up like the standard rooms at the bast. At night, the room was dark. The wind came from an unknown place, just like the night on that day. An Zhe was the same as that time. In soft, white cotton pyjamas, his face gave off an unworldly air.
Lu Feng’s fingers pressed against An Zhe’s shoulders and An Zhe’s eyes became real again. An Zhe lowered his eyelashes slightly before raising his eyes to meet Lu Feng’s eyes. His eyelashes twitched slightly, like the delicate shaking of the flowers and leaves after the butterfly landed on them.
Lu Feng stared at him for a long time, like staring at the twilight on the snowfield.
Once the twilight came, An Zhe leaned over and kissed him gently. Silently, he kissed these lips again and again.
The past flickered before fading.
TL Note: This is the actual last chapter. It is officially marked as complete by the author. Thank you for joining me on this journey. This is probably my number one favourite danmei novel and I hoped you all loved it as much as I did.
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