Chapter 207 Therapy - just what I need
Shani, the God of karma and justice, was the son of Sun God Surya and goddess of shadows Chhaya. The blessing of hatred was a power he unlocked moments after his birth.
When he was born, instead of seeing celebration and receiving the love of his family, the infant godson came across the displeased expression of his father.
Shani was born with a dark complexion which was stark opposite of Surya's luminous radiance.
Shani's appearance raised doubts in Surya's mind and he refused to accept that his son would be born with such dark features. He even doubted his wife's character and accused her of Infidelity.
Young Shani, born with exceptional intelligence and awareness, keenly felt the rejection and humiliation directed at him and his mother. Overwhelmed by anger and hatred toward his father for the unjust accusations and rejection, he glared at Surya from his mother's embrace. Awakening his first innate power born from hate - Gaze of Hatred.
As Shani's eyes met those of Surya, an unbelievable transformation occurred. The once radiant sun, symbolizing warmth and light, was suddenly eclipsed by darkness. Surya's golden brilliance faded, and the sun's surface became as dark as Shani's own complexion. This was the first punishment God of karma had given out. And just this was enough to scare every other God, not to mess with Shani.
Shani had always been impartial in his job, and even after coming to Arcadia, instead of following others into battle for supremacy and showing off, he stayed behind and adjusted himself to his old job. For him giving out punishments and rewarding people for good karma was important, which world he was in, didn't matter.
One could say, he was a very workaholic God.
Gaze of hatred, a blessing, though seemingly powerful, which could affect the target's mentality and give him severe pain, also had some drawbacks and limitations. The biggest one being, this blessing could only be used by channeling the emotions of the user as fuel. Thus using it often may affect the emotional state of the user itself.
As they say, one can't understand pain and suffering, if they don't go through those feelings themselves. Same was the case with this blessing.
To use the gaze of hatred, one must also feel an intense amount of hatred or resentment himself. The blessing simply heightens those emotions and projects them to the target, drowning them into the negativity.
There's also the fact that once invoked, controlling this blessing was hard, and it may also affect innocent individuals nearby, spreading fear and infamy among the populace. Thus leading the target to suffer the fate of being ostracized.
Shani also suffered through this fate in both the myths and the original novel. Since due to the curse he received from his wife, he couldn't even control his powers and anyone who met his gaze would be punished by bad karma, making him live alone even in the group of other gods.
It was only after Valtor became too famous in the novel's future, and helped Shani lift the curse that he could be free again.
Seeing Rio lost in his thoughts, and not paying attention to him, Lucius furrowed his brow, but the smile on his face still didn't disappear even for a second.
"Look I understand that after what you've been through, it is hard for you to be okay. And that's why we're here. A talent like yours would be wasted if you can't control yourself." Lucius showed genuine concern as he addressed Rio's struggles.
"Hmm"
Seeing his worried expression, Rio just chuckled and didn't say anything. It was almost funny how perfectly this guy could mimic the emotions of normal people.
Yes, mimic. Lucius himself didn't feel anything at all. Delirium heir was born apathetic. He didn't feel any emotions and whatever little he did, he never showed them or cared for them. This whole therapy thing that he does, it's just for his research, in trying to understand others, and pretend to be like them. It was all just an act he puts on, so he won't feel left out.
Even in the novel, until the moment he died, Lucius only managed to feel two emotions - attraction for professor Freya, and annoyance for Leon.
"I see that you can still smile, which means you're not completely a lost cause. So we can work on your other emotions over time. But for that I'll need your help. I can't do anything, if you don't say anything and just stay silent like this." Lucius said, trying to show that expressions that looked like he was just a concerned professor trying his best to help the student.
Rio considered Lucius's request, while trying to suppress the urge to laugh and praise him for his acting skills. Which obviously surpassed his own. "What do you want to know?" he finally asked.
Seeing that he was finally willing to cooperate, Lucius decided to ask him about his past. The core of his trauma. "For starters, let's start it with where it all started. Two years ago, you got trapped in a dungeon and had to go through a very traumatic experience to survive alone. Why don't you tell me about that. What you did? What you felt? What you promised yourself to do if you came out?
There are so many questions, feel free to answer whichever you like."
Rio closed his eyes. He could still remember everything that happened back then as clear as day. He could even hear the voices and whispers of everyone else as they ran leaving him behind.
'Hold on, I'll get help.'
'Run faster damn it'
'What a monster. It's good that you got too arrogant this time.'
'Your death would be my way to power. I'll defeat everyone and win my way back.'
'Just die, and accompany my brother in the halls of hell.'
'Forgive me. It was the only option.'
Rio opened his eyes, as he tried to calm his emotions. After suffering the major blows to himself and his plans again and again, his control over his emotions was getting better and better. Though his anger was rising each time, but he could still control himself.
"Are you going to answer?" Lucius asked again as he noticed the subtle change in Rio's aura.
"I'll answer. In the time I was in the dungeon" Rio began "I'd basically hunt or hide. Hunt monsters I could kill, hide from those whom I couldn't. It was just me trying to survive."
"As for feelings I felt at that time, anger would be the one emotion that comes to mind. Disappointment too. But there's nothing I can do about that." Rio admitted and Lucius nodded his head, without probing any further for details.
"Thinking about what I'd do once I come out huh" Rio said and thought for a second, and then he nodded his head with a smile and continued "I plan to collect some debts."
Lucius stopped writing his notes and looked at Rio. He wanted to ask about the debt he mentioned as he felt a little wrong about those words, but he had a feeling Rio won't answer. Yet he still asked, hoping to at least see his facial reaction this time. "What kind of debt?"
"That would be personal, so I'd keep it silent for now." Rio said with a cruel smile plastered across his face.
"I heard you haven't met any of your old friends or classmates yet. Is there a reason you're alienating them? What do you feel about them?" Lucius asked, changing the topic.
"You know, you're just like him." Rio said instead of answering his question. He started to smile to hide the feeling of anger that started to rise inside him, when he started to see similarities between this guy and the one he met on earth for therapy.
"Like who?" Lucius asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"William Harper. Someone I read about in a book." Rio said as he tapped his hand on the table and looked at Lucius "Are you curious about what's similar between you two?"
"I'm curious about that, yes." Lucius said honestly.
Rio smiled and answered "He didn't know anything about how to help anyone. So he'd just keep asking useless questions to his customers,trying out different things and scenarios until someone realized their own mistake or found an answer."
His words confused Lucius and made him furrowed his brows in anger. "I'm just trying to help." He said again.
"But you don't really know how, do you? After all, you don't understand what it feels like." Rio said with a meaningful expression and knowing look on his face.
Seeing the confident look and that expression that just screamed 'I know what you're hiding' - Lucius felt weird for a moment. He thought someone finally figured out about his illness, that his act he put on failed in front of this boy.
'Does he know that I can't feel any emotions?' Lucius couldn't help but think that.
Ignoring the confused look on Lucius's face, Rio smiled and stood up to leave. "Well, I'll tell you about that guy next time. It's time for my class. See you tomorrow professor."
'This is gonna take a while.' Lucius thought, as he looked at Rio's leaving back and glanced at his notes, he couldn't help but jot down one final observation: "He's different. More session and supervision required for further progresa."
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