Chapter 1059 Suffers The Most
"Do you know that these soldiers mock you behind your back? So why are you so agitated, knowing that they will revive?" asked Alexie with confusion. "Is it because of some pride for Xeloria that I didn't know you had?"
"If this were outside the tower, wouldn't you have done the same thing?" asked Dorian, his spear aimed at the perplexed man. "You make it seem like everything is fine because they will revive, but how can you watch them die?"
"Those who can change everything cannot be a part of anything," said Alexie as he slowly rose from the boulder, looking down at Dorian. "I cannot take sides while standing at the top. I have to save the most I can while sacrificing the few."
"Oh, what a noble man," mocked Dorian with a smirk. "Killing is killing, and to kill those who believed in you is sickening."
"I understand what this is about," said Alexie as he hopped from the boulder, landing far away from the spearman. "You saw and felt their gratitude before coming here. You saw men dying believing I was on their side, so my apathy confused you."
"And it doesn't faze you?" asked Dorian one last time before shaking his head, knowing that his words would not reach him. All he could feel now was anger toward this man. "Fight me as promised, Alexie."
"I will not kill you, but you have to understand another hard life lesson. Emotions do not equate to strength; it's often the opposite," said Alexie as he raised a fist. Dorian knew an attack was coming, but he still failed to follow his foe with his eyes.
Alexie disappeared from his spot as a gale of wind passed by Dorian. Before he could react, a fist slammed into his face. Dorian couldn't believe he had lost so easily, but he managed to retain his consciousness and remain standing.
Dorian swung his spear to strike Alexie but found nothing there. Instead, a fist landed on his face, sinking deep into his skin before sending him flying toward a boulder. The fight was over with just two attacks, and Dorian found himself unable to move after slamming into the hard stone.
"You should have picked a better time to fight me, Dorian," said the man walking toward him. The world was spinning, but Dorian tried to defend himself, only to have his spear slapped aside. Alexie sat in front of him. "Let me share how I feel with you."
Alexie began reciting strange words as mana rose from his body. Dorian knew something was coming as he stabilized his vision. Then, he saw an ethereal sphere forming over Alexie's palm, which he offered to Dorian.
"This will show you how I feel instead of you having to assume it," said Alexie as he presented the sphere of twinkling lights. "I hope it makes you understand why I do some of the things I do."
Dorian stared at the man who seemed foolish enough to think he would believe him. He laughed through bloody teeth, but Alexie didn't get angry. Something made him unable to refuse the gesture – a sincerity he had never seen in someone so powerful. Curiosity overcame him, and he reached out toward the sphere.
As his fingers touched the sphere, a dam opened between their two minds. A flood of emotions rushed toward Dorian, making him momentarily unable to understand what they were. Then, he opened his eyes and found himself floating above the battlefield.
Dorian was first filled with wrath. Alexie felt his anger towards the tower for trapping men in this mindless game and seeing them become slaves to it. Then, Dorian felt their suffering. Each of their existences was like a star surrounding him, feeding Alexie their emotions.
"These are the ones on this battlefield. Their suffering is immense, but what else do you notice?" said a golden figure with a dark flame on his chest, presumably Alexie. Dorian followed his suggestion and looked around before noticing something else.
"There is suffering... everywhere," muttered Dorian as he looked into the distance. Bright twinkling stars kept gleaming in the distance to announce their presence. Their suffering was all transmitted to Alexie. "Who are they?"
"Some of them are orphans who had nothing to eat, others are mothers who have nothing to feed their children. Although existence is suffering itself, there is a different reason for their suffering."
"...War."
"If I help Xeloria defeat everyone else, their suffering won't stop. Your father will favor his city as you are favoring these soldiers. The luxury of some means the suffering of others."
Dorian grasped the message Alexie was trying to convey. If one could feel the suffering of everyone, then favoring a select few over the many would be unjust, regardless of how close they were. But something about this concept unsettled Dorian.
"Then, what is that?" Dorian redirected his attention to the blazing black sun behind him, impossible to ignore or overlook. Even from his vantage point, the sun appeared colossal, wreathed in black flames and lightning.
Alexie turned as well, his voice laden with burden as he responded, "That, my friend, is wrath."
Dorian gazed at the sun, struggling to comprehend its immense size. As he glimpsed the distant stars, which seemed to radiate profound sorrow and suffering, he wondered about the emotions the black sun held.
"I don't sense any emotions emanating from it," Dorian remarked as he cautiously approached the sun. But a golden figure caught his arm, halting him. Dorian was bewildered. "Let me."
"This is the one thing I cannot allow you to feel, Dorian," Alexie said with a mournful tone. "If you experience even a second of this wrath, you'll lose your sanity."
"Have you experienced it before?"
"I experience it every passing second."
"Then let me feel it for less than a second," Dorian demanded. Despite his fear, he yearned to understand the burden that Alexie carried alongside his immense strength. "I promise to keep my sanity intact."
Upon hearing his plea, the golden figure released him. Dorian approached the blazing sun and positioned himself beneath its flames. He turned to the golden figure beside him and nodded. Then, he endured the longest tenth of a second in his life.
An infinite number of wrathful voices crying their injustice: starved children and raped mothers, betrayed kings and miserable queens, and men killed for the gods' pleasure. The voices filled his mind, almost driving it insane. Dorian regretted his choice and wished it would end, but the wrath made it feel like eternity.
His body trembled, and his muscles wasted away. The wrath within him felt like it was scalding him alive. Sweat poured from his body and evaporated almost instantly. An intense heat seared his insides, rendering him incapable of uttering a scream. Then, the tenth of a second elapsed.
When Dorian finally regained consciousness, he found himself in the middle of a forest, his body drenched in sweat and blood, his clothes now loose-fitting. Seated beside him was the man responsible, his back turned to Dorian.
"I didn't think you'd survive," Alexie admitted.
Dorian shared the same sentiment as he attempted to rise, but his body lacked strength. Alexie then turned toward him, his golden eyes studying Dorian, his expression heavy with sorrow. "I'm sorry, Dorian."
The sadness in Alexie's voice was genuine, and Dorian held no anger or blame for what he had experienced. His overwhelming relief that it was over was mixed with sheer shock that Alexie lived with this wrath constantly.
"How... can you remain so composed?" Dorian's voice was raspy, his throat feeling as if it had been scorched. He ignored his aching muscles and struggled to get up. His once dark, long hair had turned white and fell over his eyes.
"There are two forces within me, Dorian. One I cannot control, and the other I use to control the first. The truth is... I'm never calm. I always hear pleas for vengeance from those who were wronged."
"I... can't fathom who you are," Dorian admitted in astonishment, his trembling hand catching his eye. "What is your purpose here?"
"Justice," Alexie replied, gazing into the distance. "I want to end the war, Dorian. After that, I intend to appoint someone to lead the second floor and the entire tower. I choose you."
"Me...?" Dorian muttered with a furrowed brow. "I'm unfit to lead anyone, Alexie. The world is filled with wiser men than I am. There are tasks... even I cannot accomplish."
"This is the first time I've seen your humility," the golden-eyed man said with a smile as he turned towards Dorian. "Acknowledging that there are wiser individuals than you is precisely what I wanted to hear. Those who believe themselves superior can never rule."
Dorian couldn't fully grasp the man's words, drained as he was by the experience of the wrath. Before he could formulate a response, he collapsed to the ground, losing consciousness once more. As he did, he whispered the words that had been haunting his thoughts.
"You are the one... who suffers the most..."
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